I quit!

                               WARNING! WARNING!! WARNING!!!

The following is a self indulgent wallowing in self pity and whining that I strongly recommend you skip. 

You have been warned!



I find that it is too stressful to have deadlines. Having to finish the cooking by candle lighting on Fridays is stressful enough. Then there is Pesach (There is always Pesach. Preparations for Pesach started the minute you changed your kitchen back to everyday dishes last Pesach.) Not to mention little deadlines like lesson plans that need to be written, report cards that must tell parents what their kid is doing wrong without saying anything that is not high praise for the little terror and the everyday deadlines of the end of the school day, when you have to pick the kids up from school and end your peaceful enjoyment of visiting worthless websites online.

It's even more stressful when you sacrifice some of that precious me-time to make the deadline for a blog that is read by 3-4 people at most. I am eternally grateful to my 3-4 loyal readers (I say '3-4' though I only have evidence of 1) but this winter has got me so stressed that making the deadline for the distant possibility that someone will read this garbage is putting me over the top.


          OK. It is now safe to return to the post. Self indulgent whining is over.


No connection to the above (Oh, please! Do not even pretend you didn't read it,) but I do find that trying to come up with something interesting every week is a bit tiring and most parashot barely provide easy insights for even one post (emphasis on "easy".) So, after much thought (it took at least 37 seconds) I have decided to go back to the original plan (That is, what I was doing when I started this blog) and simply post things not necessarily related to the weekly parasha. If a parasha will inspire a post, great; if not - there are other things to complain about. And it doesn't have to be every week, or once a week or anything. As I said, I have it on good authority that the number of people who actually read this blog on a regular basis is between 1 and 3 and all of them want me to be happy. So bear with me.



It occurred to me that I have somehow missed Tu BiShvat this year. Granted hubby was in Europe (visiting CERN!!!! Is he great or what?) and my little one had me running ragged while he was gone (2 concerts and a party), but this was not the poor holiday's fault. Luckily, one can rely on one's offspring to step in and take up the load. I mean, isn't that the reason one has kids to begin with? So there will be someone else to shovel snow, empty dishwashers, fold laundry and mow lawns? Otherwise, why have the little brats at all?

Here is a little gem that my oldest whipped up last Saturday night when I was too comfortable on the couch to get up and feed her. It is brilliant, if  do say so myself.


Goat cheese stuffed dried figs with balsamic vinegar


Use succulent dry figs. Costco sells them in large bags (wait, this statement is redundant, isn't it?) I think they're called Calimyrna figs, but at any rate, they are sort of beige colored, very soft and pliable dried figs.
Take a fig and turn it upside down (stem down). You can see a small puckered opening. Enlarge it with your fingers just large enough that you can stuff a small amount of goat cheese inside (between a 1/4 and a 1/2 inch cube, depending on the size of the fig). Turn the fig back and put it on a plate. Make as many as you want and then drizzle them with the best balsamic vinegar you can afford to buy (hint, the thicker it is, the better the quality; and you can thicken it up if you gently heat it until it reduces a bit.) I was told it is actually easier to simply pour a small quantity of vinegar on the side of the plate and dip the stuffed figs in it.

That's it. Now, isn't this worth 36 hours of labor and 17 years of mothering? And you get it for free, you lucky dogs, you. Isn't this a great dish for Tu BiShvat?


I was also planning to complain bitterly about the weather but then I remembered just how much I hate summer and heat. Not that I will let it stop me from complaining about the cold, but I figured we have at least another 2 months in which I can do that. So there's no rush.

Play the hand you were dealt

You know how some people (like me, for example) always complain about their lot in life? "Oh, if only I was as smart as my brother, I would have been more successful"; "Of course so and so is thin. She has good genes"; "I, too, would be happy all the time if I won the lottery." All excuses.

I don't have boys, but I am given to understand that brothers spend most of their formative years beating each other up. Didn't Yosef's brothers read that memo? Yeah, yeah, he was Daddy's pet (read 'pest') but you gotta admit it was a bit extreme to sell him into slavery. Really? That's a little final, isn't it? And as angry as they were at Ya'akov for favoring the little brat, did they really wish to cause all that grief and misery?

So what would you have us do, ask the brothers, he was annoying us to the point of madness. Was there anything else we could do to stop his taunting?

Well, I don't know. Just as I don't know why the Torah inserts that cliff hanger right after Ya'akov is told about Yosef dying and before we find out what happened to Yosef. The Torah takes a little detour to tell us a side story that is so totally unrelated that you've gotta wonder if the editor lost his mind for a moment. It's a very short detour and it certainly increases the suspense, but still, what is it doing here?

It's a story about a young woman who was exceptionally unlucky in her marriages. Husbands kept dying on her and finally her father in law sends her back home with some vague promises, trying to save his remaining son from the killer lady. But Tamar is no fool. Like the woman who will marry her great great great great great grandson, she used a creative interpretation of the law of the land in order to solve her problem. She knew she must marry a member of her dead husbands' family in order to have a child and she knew there is very little chance Yehuda will let her marry Shela after her first 2 husbands died. She tricked Yehuda into giving her a child and even he had to admit that she was correct. He owed her the right to have children.

What is this little side story doing here? This is a story about someone who found herself in a bind. Someone forced her into a situation that might or might not end well with no telling when the outcome will happen. She couldn't wait that long so she found a creative, yet legal, solution. 

What could Yosef's brothers learn from this? That there are many possible solutions to a bratty little brother besides faking his death and selling him into slavery. They could beat him up, they could give him a swirly, they could tie his shoelaces together, they could steal his candy. There are so many ways to pay him back for being aggravating, the mind boggles. 

Not to mention the fact that Yosef's brothers were quite a bit older than him. Most of them were already married with families of their own. Let the kid brag. What harm can he do? And if Daddy likes him better, oh well. You have your place in Daddy's life, and Yosef has his. Play the hand you were dealt.

So here is a way to play the hand we were dealt: A Chanukah and a Thanksgiving occurring on the same day. Chanukah means latkes. Thanksgiving means pumpkin (well, OK, turkey. But pumpkin is a main theme there too and I have vegetarians to appease. Work with me here.) Let's find a creative solution. Like Pumpkin Latkes. You may think it's weird but you gotta admit it beats selling a family member into slavery. Although.....


Pumpkin Latkes


Vegetable oil
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
1 small sugar pumpkin, peeled, seeded and shredded (about 3 cups)
2 eggs
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper


Cook onion in 1 Tbs oil until soft and browned (12-15 minutes.)
Mix onion with The other ingredients.
Heat about a 1/4 cup oil in a skillet over medium-high heat and fry heaping tablespoons of the pumpkin mixture, 3 or 4 at a time.
Flatten each latke with the back of the spatula and cook until browned on both sides and soft in the middle, about 3 minutes per side. 
Transfer to a wire rack set over a baking sheet.
Serve warm with apple-cranberry sauce.
serves 10

BTW, you can substitute potato starch for the flour for a touch of potato flavor (also for a gluten free version.)






I am always in awe of how brilliant the women of the bible were. Especially compared to some of the men. Isn't it interesting that "The more things change...."?

Read more here: http://www.idahostatesman.com/2013/11/06/2852988/use-pumpkin-for-holiday-latkes.html#storylink=cpy

Creation Vs Evolution

When one reads Genesis 1, one can see how the theory of evolution might make sense. The creation of the world reads very much like the flow of evolution that made Charles Darwin so famous. Of course, Genesis explains the cause differently than Mr. Darwin, but the essence is there: Life on earth has developed in stages, with escalating levels of complexity and organization.

So we can assume that the less complex life forms were created first, then life was created in higher and higher levels until the crown of creation: A human. To all those who complain that the bible places women on an inferior level; and those who believe it and use it to oppress women, here is G-d's own work: He created male and female together. As equals. 

So there.

Unfortunately, Genesis does not end after chapter one. There's a second version (appropriately enough, it's named 'chapter 2') that tells of G-d creating man first, then all the trees and then all the animals and then a woman as sort of an appendix to the man.

Generations of scholars have tried to puzzle this out. Why are there two versions and why are they so different, and which one is the 'right' one and what does it all mean, anyway? I believe the consensus is that both versions are somehow correct at the same time and it's only our very limited human understanding that prevent us from getting it. At any rate, since both are in the sacred text, we must assume they somehow mesh together. Maybe the first one is the plan and the second is what actually happened?

But, if we try to incorporate both versions, we might reach the conclusion that G-d was creating the world in escalating levels of complexity and organization (on the cellular and organ level) and suddenly realized that man was a much lower creature than He assumed. In the second version, after all, man was created before almost everything else. What was the last thing to be created? The creation we assume (according to the first version) is at the highest level of sophistication? That's right. Woman.

(Dear Friend (and you know who you are) who is getting ready to have me drawn and quartered: I'm not done yet, relax.)


So what are we to do? Are men and women equals? created at the same time as a "package deal" called 'human'? or are men superior to women since everything seems to have been created for them (trees and animals and even women themselves)? or are women superior to men, having been created at the very top of the creation ladder (when G-d already knew exactly which mistakes to avoid, so to speak)?

There are many proofs to the argument that, on a purely biological level, women are superior. There are just as many arguments that they are superior on a social level. The Talmud offers arguments that women are superior on a spiritual level, too. So where did humanity go wrong during the last few millenniums? How did men manage to come out on top?

There is a theory that claims that G-d did not create a man and a woman but a human. That the first human was a creature made of both genders attached back to back. That the "creation" of woman was simply a separation of the two so they can face each other ("Ke-negdo") and not be alone any more. After all, the Hebrew word for 'rib' also means 'side' (as in the 'sides' of a triangle, for example.) That's why man could not find any animal to suit him as a spouse. His soul mate was attached to him the whole time. Doesn't Genesis 2 state clearly: "That's why a man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his woman and they shall become one flesh"?

There is no doubt in my mind as to who is the more evolved one in my marriage. But without each other, we are simply halves of a whole. We need both of our qualities to make a complete human. (Not a person. A Human.) As my daughter said at the end of our trip to Israel: "Thank you Imma and Aba for this wonderful trip, where Imma came up with fun and interesting stuff to do and Aba made sure it was cheap."

We all need each other because without each other we are not complete. Without the 'bad' qualities of our spouse, life will have no flavor, no zest. We want our lives to be sweet and tart, salty and spicy and wonderful. Just like the arba minim, we need more than one way to look at every situation in life.


This dish is sweet, tart and spicy. Since you would want to eat it with some chips, it will have saltiness, as well. And what can be more appropriate for this season than a pomegranate (which makes better sense as a candidate for the "forbidden fruit" than an apple. Pomegranates are way more tempting.)



Pomegranate Salsa


Mix together:

Juice from one large pomegranate (or 1/4 cup bottled juice; just juice, no sugar added, no cocktail stuff; plain juice of pomegranate.)
2 cups of pomegranate seeds (about 2-3 pomegranate's worth)
3-4 tsp of minced fresh jalapeno
1/4 cup minced yellow bell pepper
4 Tbs chopped fresh cilantro (or parsley, but only if you must)
1 Tbs sugar
1 Tbs rice vinegar


Serve with tortilla or pita chips.

Makes enough for 8 servings as a small appetizer







I have no idea if men are 'better' than women or vice versa.   I do know they tend to behave childishly and act before they think. It's endearing, in a way, but I believe I will go on thinking that women are superior biologically, socially and spiritually. I have experts' support for all three. And as the superior gender, it is up to us to lovingly guide them into being better humans. I recommend bribery.





(Dear Friend who still wants to berate me, you can unleash your fury now.)

Not good enough

I like goat cheese. It's very earthy and creamy and delicious. I like inventing recipes that contain goat cheese. But my friend the goat-cheese-hater always asks "Can I use feta instead?"

Why do people argue with perfection? Because what is perfect for one is not so great for another. Because they can see flaws in my plan that they think I missed somehow.

Is that what happened in S'dom? Did G-d "miss" something? Because when He told Avraham about his plans for S'dom, Avraham immediately pointed out what seems like an obvious flaw: "How can you kill the innocent along with the wicked?"

Then there's the famous bargaining ("Can I use feta instead?"), where our wily ancestor haggles with the Almighty over a bunch of people he doesn't know and wouldn't want to know if he knew them. And G-d indulges him. Fine, says G-d, I'll spare the whole city for the sake of a few good people.

G-d, being G-d, knows darn well that there aren't any good people in S'dom. Why doesn't He just say to Avraham: "Listen, pal, you're wasting your breath. This city is one wicked cesspool. There are no good people there. Fo'getaboutit." Why bargain over a lost cause? 

Because G-d is a teacher. With great patience He lets Avraham find the truth for himself. When you learn something by yourself, you'll know it better and remember it longer than if someone simply told you about it. Like a patient parent, G-d lets Avraham think he has a say in the matter. Not to make fun of him or to "teach him a lesson" but to let him find out for himself that there is always a reason behind G-d's decisions. Even if, from a human point of view, they seem flawed.

And, one day, my friend will find out that I am right (which,of course, I always am) and that goat cheese is amazing. Until that happy day, I will indulge her and create dishes with feta so she thinks she has a say in spotting my (imaginary) flaws.



Baby volcanoes of leeks and feta

3 leeks, white part only, sliced very thinly
1 package (8-10 pieces) scallions, white and green parts both, sliced very thinly
3 Tbs butter
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
Freshly ground black pepper
2 Tbs chopped fresh parsley
12 puff pastry shells, baked according to package instructions



Saute leeks and scallions in butter over medium-low heat for about an hour (yes, this is no typo.) Stir frequently. Vegetables will get very soft but there will be very little browning.

Let mixture cool slightly (or even overnight and proceed the next day), then add feta, parsley, and black pepper.

Using one heaping tablespoon per shell, fill prepared puff pastry shells.

Heat oven to 400F. Turn it off and place shells (arranged on a baking sheet) in it for 10 minutes.

Makes 12 appetizers


Yes, feta because of the salt around S'dom and volcano shaped containers for the volcanoes that were probably part of the destruction of S'dom. And good riddance, too. What a horrible place.