The Oy of Family

There. I am posting this on Thursday. Happy? (hmpff)


The story of Korach is very dramatic. First there's rebellion. Which is sort of an every day thing with the Israelites, except this time it's organized. And it's led by some important people. Korach and his group were no small potatoes. Then there are negotiations about the best way to resolve the issue (note that Moshe never says "You cheeky little upstarts. Shut up and go back to your tent before I ask G-d to smite you", really, the man have the patience of a saint.) Then there's G-d's threat. Then there's G-d's judgement and the carrying out of the punishment. Ooooh, very dramatic. The earth opens up, swallows them, covers over them. Ouch. 

So it's perfectly understandable with all this drama going on that a little side comment does not get center stage. In Bamidbar chapter 16 verse 7 Moshe says something that is translated as "You have too much, sons of Levi" It can also be translated as "Enough! you sons of Levi". Rashi says that Moshe tries to tell them that rebelling against G-d's decisions is too great an undertaking. Ibn Ezra, on the other hand says that Moshe was reminding them that, as Levites, they have already been given plenty.

Either way, the point that caught my attention was actually the second part of the exclamation. Because, wasn't Moshe himself a "son of Levi"? Then, the people who rebelled against him and that tried to tell him he and his brother have taken too much for themselves, were his own tribe. In essence, his own family.

Well, well, well. Here we go again. Is there any family in the whole bible who lives in peace and quiet? without brother rising against brother, son against father, sister against sister and so on? What is it about families that drives us to distraction? I suppose it's the knowledge, on both sides, that we're stuck with each other. No one chooses their family. In fact, most people, if given a choice, would never choose the family they're with. But here we are. Bound to these annoying people for life. And to add insult to injury, they are not content to see us once or twice a year and be civil. Oh, no. They call and write and visit and insist on a relationship. Ugh. And if that was all, dayenu. But no. Every time you give in and allow those pests a sliver of an access to your life, they have something to say. Endless complaints, rude remarks, unnecessary advice, invasive questions, all too frank comments about your appearance, job, spouse, children etc.

There are times when one wishes for the simple and elegant solution G-d offered Moshe. Cover them.



Salmon and Pesto in Puff pastry


2 Lbs skinless, boneless salmon fillet
1 sheet of puff pastry (large enough to wrap around the whole fillet)
1 cup pesto (home made is, of course, best, but you can use store bought)
1 egg, beaten


Roll the puff pastry until it's the right size for your fish.

Spread a generous amount of pesto on the pastry.

Put the fish in the center of the pastry.Spread a generous amount of pesto on the fish itself.

Using kitchen shears or a sharp knife, cut diagonal stripes in the dough, on both sides of the fish, from the edge of the dough to about 2 inches from the fish. Make the stripes about one inch wide. Wrap the stripes over the fish, alternating sides and pressing them close enough that the gaps aren't too large (You need to end up with a fish wrapped in dough with 'slits' all over). It looks a little like apple strudel. 

Brush the dough well with egg.

Bake in a shallow pan, at 400F for 30 minutes. If the top part is golden but the bottom is not quite done, transfer to lowest rack, cover with foil and continue baking another ten minutes.

Serves 6-8




And then, when you are just about ready to talk with G-d re:opening the earth again, the annoying family members do something that pulls at your heartstrings and reminds you that families define us, uphold us and connect us to our past and our future.

Keep it short

Have you noticed how some prayers tend to go on and on, including everything and anything in the list of requests or praises? Not that I oppose to praising G-d. But I suspect He sometimes gets a little tired. You know how, when you talk on the phone with someone who goes on and on, who insists on going into every minute detail of the story they are telling, you sometimes roll your eyes and wish with all your heart that she (it is usually a 'she') will run out of words? When anyone from my husband's family calls to wish me a Happy Birthday, or even to talk about the weather, the call usually takes forever. My contribution is usually about 30 seconds long, mainly consisting of "thanks, oh same to you, yes, thank you, nice of you to say" and such. The other person starts blessing me (which is very nice) And. Does. Not. Stop. They cover all events, real or imaginary, past, present and future and include three or four wishes for each.  You might think I am an ingrate (which is also true but besides the point) but try to listen to 5 or 10 minutes of consistent good wishes (when you feel obligated to respond to each and you quickly run out of variations on 'thank you') and you'll see what I mean.

So it seems to me G-d just might be getting a little tired of the long winded prayers. But, you say, what about everything we want to say? We must praise Him in all His glory. And, when asking for things, as long as we have His attention, shouldn't we also mention everything that needs fixing? And, anyway, these prayers have been around for millenniums, what do you want us to use?

Let's see what Moshe, the greatest leader we ever had, the great teacher, the most modest person, the one who was on a 'one-on-one' relationship with G-d, had to say when he wanted something:

Realizing that G-d is very busy (running the world and all) and a bit short tempered (emphasis on 'short') right now, Moshe used what is probably the shortest prayer in history. 6 words. Why so short? I have encountered occasions in my life when I was in great distress. And I have noticed that my prayers on these occasions tended to be super short. Why? Maybe I was afraid to lose G-d's attention if I start to go on and on about everything else that I might ask for. Maybe when we are in pain (physical or emotional) we acquire 'tunnel vision' and get to the point much faster.

So by all means, on an every day basis, go on and on about Beit Hamikdash and parnassa and Grandma's arthritis. But when calling on an urgent matter, keep it short and to the point. G-d, as I said, is very busy. Help Him to help you.

BTW, what did Moshe ask for?  For G-d to heal Miriam. My friend Mara is in need of healing. I have been praying for her every day. I keep it short because it does not require many words to express this sentiment. She seems to be doing well, thank G-d, but meanwhile, she was told to eat a lot of fish. W-e-l-l. For this I won't even bother G-d. I can do that one myself (using my G-d given talents, of course.)

This recipe is a variation on a dish my friend Liora brought over one Shavu'ot. It was an immediate hit. It is actually very popular in Israel and has about 5 million versions, all yummy.


(Oh, and it has a weird name)

Kh'raimeh (Fish in spicy sauce)


2 heaping Tbs tomato paste
1/2 cup boiling water
1 tsp each: hot paprika, cumin, coriander, granulated garlic.
1/2 tsp salt
1 medium onion, chopped
4 Tbs vegetable oil
1 whole hot pepper of your choice, fresh
3-4 garlic cloves
6-8 fillets of firm white fleshed fish (tilapia, cod, hake, haddock, orange roughy, etc.)
1/2 cup water


Mix together the ingredients from the first four lines above.
In a wide, deep pan saute the onion in the oil until golden. Add hot pepper, garlic and the spice mixture. Bring to a boil over medium heat.
Add fish (making sure it is in one layer; hence the wide deep pan) and second 1/2 cup of water. Return to a boil.
Cover partially and cook over low heat for about 20 minutes until fish is ready (flakes when cut with fork.)

Note: the number of fish fillets is actually quite flexible. Whatever fits into the pan, as long as it is in one layer and covered by the sauce.




Pray. All the time. And don't think it must always be the whole, long, sometimes boring, traditional prayers. G-d is just as happy with short prayers. Just make sure that, no matter the length, it comes from a true heart. 

Refuah Sh'lema to Mara and all who need healing.

Fruit from the sea

There's a story in the Talmud about how, while the Israelites were crossing Yam Suf, there were trees growing out of the walls of water around them and the trees bore fruit to feed them along the way. 

I have a long standing disagreement with my friend Debbie about the validity of midrashim.  She accepts them as Torah from Sinai; I see them as interesting fiction. Take the above mentioned story. Assuming trees can grow and bear fruit in walls of water (not too hard to imagine with hydroponics becoming more and more common), and assuming it can happen very quickly (instead of over a few years, like normal trees), I still say it is farfetched. Because how long could it have taken the Israelites to cross the sea? Weeks? Days? Probably a couple of hours or so. Did they really need extra food for such a short journey? And, with the Egyptians chasing after them, did they really have time to stop and pick apples?

Still, the story is there for a reason, no? What did they pick from the walls of water around them? Which fruit do you get from the sea? Fish. And this part is very easy to imagine, because when the sea split open, I am sure there were some fish who did not read the memo and so were caught by surprise, finding themselves floundering (pun intended, of course) at the edge of the walls of water, easy to be plucked by the passing Israelites. 

Jews love fish. We're supposed to eat them at every Shabbat and holiday. Is it so hard to assume than that the 'fruit' in the story was actually 'frutto del mare'?


The Jews of Italy created the following dish specifically for Shabbat. It's different and sounds very strange but it is very Italian. I found this in a book called (appropriately enough) "The Gefilte Variation" by Jayne Cohen. Excellent book, with wonderful stories about each recipe. 


Pesce in Saor

2 pounds lemon sole, grouper, red snapper, perch or tilapia fillets (no thicker than 1/2 inch)
1 cup flour
Salt and pepper
Olive oil, for frying, plus 2 Tbs
1 large juicy orange, preferably thin skinned, very thinly sliced
1 1/2 pounds onion, very thinly sliced (about 6 cups)
1/4 cup pine nuts, toasted
1/4 cup raisins
1/2 cup balsamic (or red wine) vinegar
1 cup orange juice
1 bay leaf


Remove bones from fillets, if necessary, and cut into 4 inch pieces.
Soak in cold, slightly salted water for 20 minutes (this is an ancient method that seasons the fish and helps it stay firm when fried)
Pat the fish dry. 
Spread flour on wax paper or large platter and season with salt and pepper. Dredge the fish pieces thoroughly in the flour and shake lightly to remove excess. Fry fish in 1/4 inch of very hot (but not smoking) oil in a large, heavy skillet, until golden on both sides, Drain well on paper towels.
Line a large glass or ceramic baking dish with orange slices and arrange fish pieces on top, in one layer (you can overlap pieces slightly, if necessary)
Wipe out all the oil out of the frying pan. Add the 2 Tbs of fresh oil and warm it. Add the onions and toss until they are completely covered in oil. Salt and pepper lightly, cover and cook slowly over very low heat for 35-40 minutes, until the onions are meltingly tender. Stir occasionaly to make sure they don't burn.
While the onions are cooking, soak the raisins in the vinegar.
When the onions are very tender, stir in the vinegar, raisins, orange juice and bay leaf. Turn the heat to high and cook, uncovered, until the liquid is reduced by half and onions are caramelized and richly colored, about 15-20 minutes. Be sure to stir frequently to redistribute the syrupy juices and, if necessary, turn the heat down a bit to prevent the onions from sticking or burning. Season generously with salt and pepper and remove the bay leaf.
Spread the caramelized onion mixture evenly over the fish. Scatter the pine nuts on top. 
Wrap well with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 6 hours to overnight (even better when served after 48 hours)
It will keep well for at least 4 days.
The fish is best at room temperature so remove from refrigerator at least an hour before serving. Garnish with fresh, chopped parsley, if desired.

Serves 6-8



Singing and dancing after eating this dish is optional, but it seems like the right thing to do.