We interrupt this program

Sometimes the Torah is very confusing. This week's parasha is progressing along nicely; discussing at length and great detail the care and feeding of priests; moving on to special holy days and then touching on specific items that we still use on Shabbat (lights and challah). Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, the Torah turns aside and tells us about this guy whose mom was Jewish but his father was not and he had a fight with another Jew and used G-d's name in a bad way.

What in the world? I'm not saying the story is not worth telling. And certainly the verdict and the lesson learned about using G-d's name are valuable, but what is this doing here? In the middle of discussions about holiness, purity and priests?

As a teacher, I have encountered many (too many) times when I am in the middle of an exciting and important lesson and the class' current imp (and there is always one, isn't there?) pipes up with some irrelevant or, worse, inappropriate, comment or action. And then you have to stop mid-sentence, losing your momentum and the class' rapt attention to give the little upstart a piece of your mind. And sometimes, when you're done, you sort of temporarily abandon the previous topic to go on a rant regarding proper behavior in this and other matters, addressing general rules and what happens to those who break them.

It seems the same thing happened here. G-d was in the middle of talking about VERY IMPORTANT STUFF when this pipsqueak starts a fight. Now, normally, G-d can ignore fights the way parents ignore siblings squabbling. But in this case, somebody mentioned G-d's name and cursed it. W-e-l-l!!! This cannot be ignored. No sirree-bob.  So G-d paused His lesson and dealt with the offender and then used the opportunity to explain that A. If you curse G-d - you die and B. As long as we're on the subject here's a bunch of other things that have to do with general violence. I.e. - don't.

It's interesting what new directions we take when something unexpected is inserted into our path. I went to the green grocer's this week and they had those beautiful leeks. Now, leeks come in many shapes and sizes: thin, thick, lots of white part, too much of the green, with or without brownish spots. Whatever. These were excellent. Thick, clean and with more creamy white part than dark green (less useful) one. So I bought a few. I wasn't planning on buying any and I had no idea what I will be doing with them. Then I got home and my daughter said: "You know how I did not want any soup yesterday because my stomach was bothering me? Can I have some soup now?" 

She ended up eating some mushroom broth because she (or rather her tummy) rejected the idea of a leek and potato soup. But the seed was already planted.


Leek and Potato soup

4 thick, long leeks, white parts only, thoroughly washed, thinly sliced
4 Tbs butter (or olive oil)
4-5 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed
Water or vegetable broth (enough to cover the veggies)
Salt and pepper to taste



Over low-medium heat, cook leeks in butter or oil, stirring occasionally, until soft and starting to brown a bit.
Add potatoes and cover with broth or water (if you use water, you might have to spice it up a bit and the flavor will be slightly different. I really recommend using broth, even if canned or from powder, just use quality brands). 
Bring to a boil, lower heat to low, cover and cook for 30-45 minutes until potatoes are totally soft.
Puree the soup with an immersion blender or in a food processor (let it cool a bit first if using a food processor).
Season to taste.

Optional - you can stir a little cream in if you want it to be richer, and gently re-heat. But really, there's no need. 

This will serve 5-6 




 And, speaking of G-d's name, I must quote our Christian friends "G-d's last name is not 'damn' " If you think about it, using this particular expletive is like blaming G-d for whatever got you riled up. Is it G-d's fault that you banged your finger in the door? Or that there is traffic? Or that someone annoyed you? Be fair.

Walk like an Egyptian?

Not. This week's parasha states clearly: "Do not do as the Egyptians do". This stands in complete contrast to "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." (Although, to be fair, maybe we can just do as the Romans do but not as the Egyptians. Hmmm.)

Was there nothing to learn from the Egyptians? Or the Greeks? Or the Romans? Or the very cultural Germans.....

Jews have learned a great deal from all the nations they came in contact with. It's human nature. And it's a good thing, on the whole. If people do not share knowledge, everyone would still be living in caves. And the Egyptians had plenty that was worth knowing. They had vast knowledge of math, astronomy, agriculture. Not to mention architecture. So what exactly are we to not do as they do? Well, says the parasha, keep G-d's commandments. OK, that makes sense. Surely the other nations do not do that. So this is about not worshiping false idols. Fine. But then I keep reading (I know, I'm very annoying like that) and the very next verse says "Observe my rules and my laws which a person would do and shall live through them". So there is a greater reason here. Don't just not do as the Egyptians (and the people of Kna'an) do. Keep the laws of G-d that are blueprint for human living. 

Where are the people of Kna'an? The grand kingdom that used to be Egypt? Where is the Mighty Roman Empire? They did not observe the laws and rules that are apparently essential for living. Who did? We did. Where are the Jews? Everywhere. 

And every time Jews forgot to "Not do as the Egyptians do" - they usually joined the ranks of the 'Egyptians' and shared their destiny.

However, one thing that Jews did adopt was the local cuisine. Which is why the term "Jewish food" is a misnomer. There is no "Jewish food". There is only food that Jews adapted to fit their dietary laws everywhere they lived. So don't think that your matzoh ball soup is "Jewish". Or your latkes. Or chopped liver. They are simply kosher adaptations of Eastern European goyisheh food. Nothing wrong with that. People have to eat and if you hanker after pork pate, you may be tempted. So your creative wife (it's always the women who save the day, isn't it?) came up with a perfectly acceptable substitute and all is well.

And the trend continues. What will a Jewish wedding be today without sushi? 

So here is another adaptation. One that you may be well aware of and may even be using on a semi regular basis. But if you don't - here is a little idea that will make dinner much messier but great fun.

Tacos are a lot of fun both to make and to eat. The problem with tacos is that they contain both meat and cheese. So, if you have not yet figure this out - I suggest you divide and conquer (Wait, this is what many ruling Empires did. Oops, guess we might have to bend the rule of "do not do as the Egyptians do" a little here)

Buy the shells. They are parve. Plan for two different dinners.

Dinner one is with meat. Serve the shells with 1. A bowl of browned ground beef, seasoned with a variety of spices (or buy a "Taco spice mix" packet) such as paprika, garlic, coriander, cumin, pepper, salt. 2. A bowl of chopped avocado. 3. A bowl of chopped olives. 4. A bowl of thinly sliced lettuce. 5. A bowl of salsa. 6. A bowl of chopped onions. 7. A bowl of chopped tomatoes. 
You can change the content of the bowls but meat, lettuce and salsa are a must.


Dinner two is dairy. Serve the shells with 1. A bowl of sour cream or Greek yogurt. 2. A bowl of chopped avocado. 3. A bowl of chopped olives. 4. A bowl of thinly sliced lettuce. 5. A bowl of salsa. 6. A bowl of chopped onions. 7. A bowl of chopped tomatoes. 8. A bowl of shredded cheese (cheddar is good but use your favorite) 9. A bowl of some kind of beans: re fried (you can get vegetarian kosher ones), baked beans (ditto) or leftover lentil stew (vegetarian, of course). 
Again, you can change the contents but you must have salsa, lettuce, cheese and beans.


As you may have noticed, this is very easy to make, a little confusing to serve and a pain to clean up after. But it's really a lot of fun and you can actually clean out the fridge this way. Don't let my lists intimidate you - add, subtract and change any of the ingredients. Use what you like or what you have on hand. Have fun with your food. You can eat like the "Egyptians". Just don't do as they do. 



PS - this is also a great meal for Shabbat lunch in the summer.

The natural superiority of women

As if this week's (double) parasha is not bad enough, to add insult to injury, it opens with a discussion of women's impurity and ends with women's impurity. What is that? Women are more impure? women are first and last in impurity? what in the world?

So I read the parasha very carefully and I noticed that other than the start and the finish, the rest of it is almost all in male form. Except for chapter 13 verse 38-39, which says 'a man or a woman' the whole parasha is written in male form (as we all know, in Hebrew, there is a distinct difference in the words used to speak to or about males and the ones used for females). Women's "impurities" are only mentioned at the beginning (regarding a natural, joyous event) and at the end (regarding another natural event and its variations). Most of the parasha talks about impurities caused by diseases that got interpreted as punishments for various transgressions (mostly gossip). Hmmm.

Male language includes females, you say? Don't get me started. There are plenty of occasions when the male form of the Torah's commands was used as a reason to exclude females. You can't have it both ways.

Well, well, well. What do you know? Women get impure by some natural things that happen anyway. Men get impure as punishment for gossip (and they say women are greater gossips than men. Huh!) And the process of purifying men is much more complicated than the process of purifying a woman after her monthly period or after she gave birth.

I always say that men were put on this earth as a little joke on G-d's part and we simply have to put up with them the way we put up with toddlers and teenagers (whom men resemble most of the time.) And here the Torah says clearly that men are much more trouble than women. They surely gave the priests way more headaches, what with the endless checking, rechecking, purifying, more checking and all the decisions (is it a white dot or a yellow one? was this here last week? does this look puffy to you? Sure sounds like a man when he is sick, doesn't it?)

Women (as I always claimed) rock.

And so, for a nice young woman who is plagued by not being able to eat tomato sauce on her pasta (see the post "Not quite the same thing" from 2/15/13 for the full story). http://osnat-kitchentokitchen.blogspot.com/2013/02/not-quite-same-thing.html
I am offering yet another way to eat pasta without tomatoes or dairy. For you Tzivya. A woman of valor. Just like all other women.


Walnut and Parsley Pesto

In a food processor process until relatively smooth (it won't ever be super smooth):

1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (don't use regular. With no cheese, you need all the flavor you can get)
1 cup packed parsley leaves (just leaves. Take the 5 minutes to pluck them of the stalks)
1/4 cup lemon juice
6 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp salt (kosher salt is best)
Black pepper to taste (you can mix it in after the rest if you want to "taste")


This will give you about a cup or so of pesto. Cook your pasta and mix with the pesto while the pasta is still hot. You might want to reserve some pasta cooking water to mix in as well if you need to dilute it a bit.




We are women. Hear us roar.

Eek

Here's the thing about forbidden foods: most of them are disgusting anyway, but I wonder if that is simply a psychological conditioning process that helped our ancestors overcome the temptation to eat what was forbidden (though, really, how much effort do you need to put into not eating worms?) Take the worst offender: Mention a plate of bacon to a devout Jew and he or she will probably gag. And yet most of the world considers bacon an excellent and very yummy food. So it's not a natural human response but a learned reflex. By the same token, if you mention dog meat to anyone in the western world, they will not only gag but get angry at the very idea of eating Lassie. But in the far east you can get this dish at any street corner. So I am forced to conclude that food is more in our minds than in our metabolism. 

Now why am I discussing disgusting foods? Because in VaYikra chapter 11, verse 22 it says that Jews can eat the arbeh. You know, the eighth plague. A delicacy, I'm sure. 

It makes me shudder to think just how hungry one needs to be in order to eat insects. Oy. And yet this is a kosher food. Maybe G-d knew that there will be times when food will be so scarce that we will have to eat the arbeh or go hungry. 

My sister and her family celebrated their seder in the desert. They built a fire and baked their own matzah (she said it's much harder to do this within the specified time limit than she imagined) and sprawled on the soft dunes under a succah made of date palm's fronds and a canopy of a million stars and the old story became alive for them that night. My oldest child was extremely jealous. She thought we were the cat's pajamas because we had a Harry Potter themed seder and then her cousins trumped her. There is no pleasing teenagers. But then, we all know that.

Anyway, on their way to the desert, their car was coated with yellow insects. You guessed it. Arbeh. Israel has been plagued by the eighth plague this past month and apparently they really are numerous. It lent an extra layer to the seder, literally. Since most of her family is vegetarian, they avoided eating the pests (I mean the insects, not my niece and nephews...). And, luckily for the residents of Israel, today we have ways and means of overcoming the devastation that locusts bring to the crops (thereby creating the need for humans to eat them).

So now you think I am going to give a recipe for locusts. Not quite. What is green, a bit elongated, about the size of a locust and has the population divided into two clear groups about its texture and flavor? Okra. I hate okra. Many people do. But hubby, his family and many others absolutely adore it. So out of the goodness of my heart, I will share a simple recipe for okra and you are free to gag or gobble.


Okra stew

1 pound okra (fresh or frozen - you will need to cook the fresh a little longer)
3 Tbs vegetable oil
20 stalks of green garlic (this is fresh young garlic. If you can't find it substitute 12-15 scallions and 3-4 crushed garlic cloves)
4 ripe tomatoes, coarsely grated
1 Tbs tomato paste
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
Juice of one medium lemon
1 tsp sugar
4-5 cups water
5 stalks of fresh mint, chopped (you can use another fresh herb instead but it won't taste as perky)
(2 pounds cubed meat - optional, see note at the end)

Soak the okra in water for 20 minutes. Drain and trim ends.
In a wide pot heat oil and cook garlic, tomatoes and tomato paste for a minute or two, stirring constantly.
Add salt, pepper, sugar , lemon juice and water. Bring to a boil.
Add okra, stir, reduce heat to low and cook, partially covered for about half an hour or until okra is soft enough to be easily pierced with fork.
Sprinkle with mint and serve warm.

Note: this is fine as is but can be served as main dish if you add the meat (beef, lamb or chicken). You will need to first cook the meat by itself for about an hour (45 minutes for chicken), covered in water. Then add to tomato sauce when you add the okra and continue as above.

With the meat it will serve 8 people. As a vegetarian side dish it will serve 10.



As I said, food is yummy or disgusting more by our early conditioning than by its real flavor, texture or nutritional value.

And yet. Bugs? really? Eek.