Bitachon

Fear, they say, is the greatest obstacle and the worst enemy. Fear makes us avoid taking chances, which leads to stagnation. Fear causes us to cower down, to live a small life and not realize our full potential. Fear is about missed opportunities.

D'varim is a sad book. Moshe, knowing he will never walk upon the promised land, knowing he is to die soon, nevertheless centers his attention and his efforts on the same people who have been making his life miserable for the last forty years. Like a real Jewish mother, he worries that once he is gone, they will forget everything he taught them and will get on G-D's bad side. Oy. So he talks. And talks. And talks. For the whole book of D'varim he reviews everything they need to know, fervently hoping that it will stick. 

He starts by talking about the land. The land that is promised. The land they have been wandering towards for so long. The land they were taken out of Egypt to go to. The land of milk and honey that they have rejected almost forty years ago because they were scared of the giants that reportedly inhabited it. Remember this point. It's important.

Then he talks about the wanderings that occurred along the way. Here are some highlights:

We reached the land of Edom and G-d told us not to try and fight with them or even take anything from their land unless we paid full price for it because (pay attention here) He had promised this land to Esav. The land used to be populated by some strong people but G-d has destroyed them so Esav's descendants got the land. As promised.

We also reached the land of Moav and G-d told us not to fight with them because this land was promised to Lot. There used to be giants there but G-d has destroyed them so the descendants of Lot got the land. As promised.

We then reached the land of Ammon and G-d told us not to fight with them because this land was also promised to Lot and G-D has destroyed the.. you guessed it - giants who used to live there so Lot's descendants got the land. As promised.

Do we see a theme here? One more item. Moshe basically ends the parasha by telling the Israelites that they must not fear the people who are occupying the land right now since the land was promised to them by G-d and He will fight alongside them and make sure they will overcome any enemies and actually get the land. As promised.

Many years ago, the Israelites rejected the promised land because of their fear of giants. In the next 38 years they have encountered various "cousins" who were also promised various lands, which were also populated by giants. These distant relatives apparently had a little more faith in G-D's promises since they went ahead and got what was theirs despite the giants. And, surprise, surprise, the giants were beaten. As promised.

So what are you afraid of, oh people of Israel? Shouldn't you trust G-d by now? You have defeated practically everyone you have encountered, including, I might add, the giant Og. Don't you know by now that G-d will help you?

Fear holds us back. Makes us weak and timid and robs us of our heritage. Some people are afraid that if they will start keeping mitzvot, they will turn into fanatical lunatics and give up everything fun. They won't even give up their emails and texting on Shabbat, despite recent evidence that shows these things are ruining our mental health (among other things.)

Others are terrified that if they allow themselves even the smallest glimpse into anything "modern" they will end up throwing away everything that makes them Jewish. So they are not willing to consider such modern "nonsense" as women's lib or environmentalism.  

Our ancestors paid for their fear with a 38 year long penalty. Shouldn't we learn from their mistakes? Trust in G-d (have "Bitachon") to take care of you as He promised.

Of course, that doesn't mean 'sit back and expect Him to do all the work'. We are partners, after all.

Last Channuka, while helping my friend Aidella with the Channuka fair, I met her mother, Shira, and immediately liked her (a very rare thing for someone like me, who hates all people, all the time.) We got to talking and it turned out Shira is an amazing cook (not at all surprising to anyone who ate her daughter's cooking), but she won't make hummus. She buys it. 

I have nothing against store bought hummus. Except for the additives, extra oil, too much salt and the price, it's perfectly nice. But I have met so many people, including Israeli born cooks, who shy away from making it at home. They are afraid that it is complicated, they won't get it right, it's too much work, there are giants, etc, etc.

To all of this I say "have Bitachon". How difficult can it be to make hummus when you have a food processor and your taste buds have already been ruined by the store bought stuff? How bad can it possibly be?

So here's the recipe and I dare you to make it at home. Or keep eating the store bought stuff for another 38 years. Your choice.

Note: You can use canned chickpeas or cook your own. If you want to cook them yourself, soak dry chickpeas in plenty of water (they drink it up so use a lot) overnight. Drain and cook in plenty of water until quite soft (an hour or two.) Rinse well.

Another note: It is said that if you get rid of the semi-transparent peel of each chickpea (it rubs off if they're wet) your hummus will taste much better. I never had the patience for that but feel free to try it.

Hummus

1 can (15oz) chickpeas, drained and rinsed very well. Or use 1 1/2 cups cooked chickpeas.

2 heaping Tbs Tahini*

2 large garlic cloves, peeled

1 Tbs lemon juice

1 tsp cumin

Salt and pepper to taste

1/4 cup water (or more, as needed)

Put everything in the food processor.Process until smooth. You may need to add water until you reach the consistency you like but add it one tablespoon at a time, processing after each addition.

The hummus will thicken a bit after it stands a while so make it slightly less thick than you like.

* Tahini comes in two forms: prepared Tahini and unprepared one. You want the unprepared type or "raw". This is a sesame paste and should contain nothing but sesame. You can buy it almost anywhere nowadays and, while it is always better to get the Israeli brands (you can be sure they're kosher,  you're supporting Israel and the final flavor will be closer to Israeli brands), you'll get perfectly good results with almost any brand as long as it contains nothing but sesame seeds.

Most important note: This will taste different than what you're used to because commercial brands use, as I said, way too much oil, salt and additives (so the product will live forever) and our taste buds got used to it. Play with the spices and the ratio between ingredients until you get what you like. If you must have the commercial flavor (I was once at a party where the host made hummus and was pleased when I said it tasted store bought. He said that was what he was aiming for,) substitute some of the Tahini with oil. Not recommended.

Kissing cousins

There are two groups of people in this week's parasha who, because of their unconventional choices, are facing unconventional, and possibly undesirable, consequences. (Of course, there are a great many other things happening in the parasha since this is yet another of those double parashot, made up of two consecutive ones combined. One of these days I must research this issue and find out why certain parashot are combined.)

The two groups are totally different from each other. One is a huge group, made up of two and a half tribes. The other is a tiny group of only five women. Both groups have approached Moshe and asked to be treated differently than what was decided upon for everyone else.

We discussed the daughters of Tzelaphchad last week. They asked to be considered their father's heirs since he had no sons to inherit his estate. Moshe asked G-d and G-d had granted their request and even made it into a new and improved law. This week we meet the tribes of Gad, Reuven and half of the tribe of Menashe. They have a lot of cattle and they took a look at the land the Israelites were passing through (Eretz Gilead) and decided it was the perfect place for their cattle. They asked to be given that land as their portion, effectively eschewing their portion of the promised land. Moshe gets quite angry until they explain that they will first help the rest of the people to conquer the promised land, even going in front of everyone where the war is the most dangerous, and only then will they go back and settle their own part. They simply want to lay claim to this part right now and leave their families and cattle here. Moshe doesn't even ask G-d about this. He says yes. So the two and a half tribes have to "pay the price": being the spearhead of the war to conquer Kna'an, in order to be given a portion of their choice (everyone else will get their portion by lottery later.) Of course, this portion is not part of the land but hey, they got what they wanted.

What did the daughters of Tzelaphchad have to pay for "getting what they wanted"? Well, in the second part of our double parasha, the men from Tzelaphchad's tribe come to Moshe and say that if the girls inherit and later marry outside the tribe, their father's portion will be lost to his tribe as it will then belong to the girls' husbands. So the girls are to marry only men from their own tribe, thus keeping the land in the family. 

Marrying cousins is not so bad. My husband's parents are first cousins and for all we know, he and his brothers may have turned out like this anyway. I could never marry my cousin, though. For one thing, I was older than most of them, my mom being the first born of her family. And on my father's side I had mostly girl cousins and we didn't "do" gay marriage back in the dark ages. Besides, I wanted to experience new meshuggas; I was getting tired of my family's ones. And let me tell you, hubby and his family have provided me with many fascinating varieties of craziness that I never even suspected existed. Like beating each other up with scallions on Pesach. 

Worse, they consider fruit a legitimate dessert. Can you imagine? 

So I combine the best of both worlds and use an Eastern European recipe for the Iranian idea of 'fruit as dessert'. It's like having your cake and eating it too, which seems to be what the two and a half tribes were aiming for. Getting the portion of their choice while still being counted as part of the Israelites. 

Grapes and plums meringue cake

2 1/2 cups flour

1 1/2 sticks of margarine

1/2 cup sugar

2 egg yolks

1 Tbs lemon zest

Pinch salt

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 cup orange juice (no pulp)
Plums and grapes, halved (Approximately 3 cups of plum halves and 2 cups of grape halves)
1/2 cup of sugar, divided
2 egg whites
1/2 cup sugar

Mix first 8 ingredients to make dough. Wrap with saran wrap and refrigerate for 2-3 hours.

Divide dough into two parts. Using your fingers, press each half into the bottom of a greased 9x13 baking pan.

Cover the dough completely with halved plums (preferably the ones called "fresh prunes" or "Italian plums") and halved green grapes. Sprinkle generously with sugar (about 1/4 cup per pan).

Bake in a preheated oven at 375F for 45 minutes.

Meanwhile beat 2 egg whites until soft peaks form. Add 1/2 cup sugar and beat until stiff peaks form.

Take cakes out of the oven and spread beaten egg whites over the fruit (this is better done with a rubber spatula.) Return pan to oven for another 5-10 minutes until tops are slightly golden.

As the cakes cools, little dew drops will form along the meringue. That's fine. Also, it will not look like regular meringue. More like thin frosting. That's fine, too.

Cool cakes completely and store in fridge. Serve cold. 

Makes two cakes. And trust me, you wanna make two cakes as they are very refreshing, very light and disappear very fast. Perfect for Shabbat afternoon in the summertime. 

And if you have a marriageable cousin -  have I got a girl for him.

Macho nacho

Many (many, many) years ago, when I was very young, and extremely stupid (as opposed to today when I am no longer young), I went on a hiking trip with my boyfriend (Hubby's previous role) and his 2 best friends in the mountains of Galilee. We saw a breathtaking arch cave, we crawled inside another cave (not my favorite moment) and we finished the day in Acco, in a fish restaurant on the waterfront. As we were waiting for the food to arrive, Danny, hubby's #1 best friend, picked up a hot pepper from the little bowl in the center of the table and said "Anyone who eats this by itself is a real man". I happen to love spicy foods and during my misspent youth was able to eat really spicy stuff without a flinch so I picked up a pepper and ate the whole thing in two bites. I told you I was amazingly stupid. 

This week's parasha contains a lot of things, but modern women usually relate best to the story of the daughters of Tzelaphchad. This group of innovative girls dared do something that most women at the time wouldn't dream of doing. They questioned the law. You see, the law used to say that a man's estate goes to his sons and long and boring discussions explained how the estate is divided among the sons in a fair and legal way. Tzelphchad, however, had only daughters, and when he died the question came up of what is to be done with his stuff. Enter 5 daring women, who approached Moshe and said "Dude, our dad had no sons, now what?"

To his great credit, Moshe did not do what a lot of other men throughout history did, what some still do, what he easily could have done. He did not tell them to go back to the kitchen and not bother their pretty little heads about it. He said "Let's ask G-d" which is exactly the answer he gave men who brought legal questions before him. And G-d surprised everyone by saying that the women were right (Did you hear that, dear? The women were right.) I can just imagine the hullabaloo around the camp: "Ya give them the right to talk and next thing ya know these vixens ask for an inheritance. What next? the vote, perhaps?"

A few parashot back we had another person who claimed he was not getting his fair share and why should he be deprived of it. That person was swallowed by the very ground he was standing on. Now here are women, who, in the ancient world were not supposed to have many rights and certainly not the right to question the leader, doing exactly that. And not only aren't they punished, they get what they want. They also get validation from the Almighty Himself. What is that about?

It's about hot peppers, is what it's about. It's about being smart enough to know when to be bold and when to be gentle. It is about presenting yourself in a respectful and respectable way instead of showing off just to be pushy and prove a point that is better left alone. It's about what you say, how you say it, when you say it and who you say it to. 

Women's rights are extremely important and we should always work to correct injustice and speak up against it. But if we lose our femininity along the way or if we present our case in a rude or arrogant manner, our chances of being heard are diminished and so is everything gentle and pleasant that makes us, women, so much more civilized than men. 

Still, I really like spicy stuff.

Spicy bean salsa

1 1/2 cups dry beans (red, kidney, black eyed peas, pink, small white, whatever. Use a mixture)

2 bay leaves

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 large onions, chopped

8 large garlic cloves, sliced

4 mild peppers (these are the longish, light green ones sometimes called frying peppers), seeded ans sliced

1 or 2 fresh jalapeno peppers seeded and sliced 

1 tsp turmeric

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp coarse salt

1/2 tsp coriander

1/4 tsp black pepper

12 oz corn kernels (frozen)

2 cans (14 1/2 oz each) diced tomatoes, do not drain)

1/2 cup salsa (mild, medium or hot)

Juice of 2 limes

1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro (substitute parsley only if you absolutely must)

1. Cover beans with water and soak overnight. Drain. Cover again with water, add bay leaves and cook until fork tender (3-5 hours).

2. In a large pot saute onions in oil over medium high heat until light brown (stir occasionally.) Add garlic and cook for one minute. Add peppers and stir well. Cook for 5-7 minutes or until peppers start to soften. Stir occasionally.

3. Add cooked beans, tomatoes, corn, salsa and all the spices. Mix well. Bring to a boil. Cook for 1 hour, partially covered, over low heat (not super low, the pot should be a little bubbly.)

4. Add lime juice and cilantro and remove from heat.

5. Serve over rice or with tortilla chips for scooping. Also good as a filling for a burrito or enchilada (just stuff inside a tortilla, add cheese and proceed.) I also used it in a quesadilla. Yum.

This makes a lot. I can't really say how much exactly but we ate it for days. Luckily it keeps in the fridge for more than a week (I guess nothing can survive in it.) I'd say it can easily serve 8 people as a meal if you add rice.

Something entirely different

Life, my mom likes to say, is what happens while you're making other plans. Here was Balak, all set to have the Israelites cursed to within an inch of their lives and here was Bil'am, all set to do what he was hired to do and here is what happened while they were making their plans. You almost feel sorry for these two. They worked so hard at it, sacrificing seven bulls and seven rams again and again and again, building altar after altar, fine tuning their methods in an attempt to achieve the best cursing possible. And failing gloriously time after time, poor men.

Why did they fail? Well, duh, because they went against G-d and His chosen people. But other people have tried to work against the Jews and succeeded quite well. At least temporarily. Balak and Bil'am failed from the very beginning. More than that, Bil'am knew that it wouldn't work. He tried real hard, true, but he kept explaining that there is no way to succeed because G-d is against it. And Balak would not listen. He kept insisting Bil'am curse them, even if only a little, or partially, or something. Anything. What's up with that? It's against logic. I mean, you wanna curse someone. OK. The person you hire to do it (the best in the land) tells you it can't be done. You insist. He tries against his better judgement. He fails. You insist again. Same scenario. Give it up. You're already out 14 bulls and 14 rams (and these were prime animals. No cheap sheep.) Why dig yourself a deeper hole?

If you go back to the beginning of the parasha, Balak gives a reason for his behavior. In Numbers 22:5-6 he says that this people came out of Egypt and they are a huge group and they are "settled next to me" and he asks Bil'am to curse them because they are "too numerous for me" and maybe by cursing them "I  can defeat them and drive them out". So Balak, king of Moav, was worried about the Israelites not because they did something to him, but because they were many and they camped nearby. The stories of their recent victories must have made the rounds all across the desert and Balak was afraid. And what does he do? He tries a trick to get out of a war he knows he cannot win. Is there only one way to do this? Apparently Balak thinks so. He did not stop to think the problem through. Why did the Israelites have to beat the pants off everyone else? Because everyone else were inconsiderate jerks. Time and again the Israelites asked for permission to pass through, promising not to touch any resources, not the water, not the food, not even the grass for their animals. Just let us through. Time and again the answer was "No way". So, time and again they had to fight their way through and, having G-d on their side, they won. If they had been given permission to pass quietly, they probably would have done so and everyone would have been happy. How could Balak miss that?

Easy. Most people cannot comprehend that others are, well, other. They attribute to other people their own motives and morals. My brother, for example, cannot understand that the rest of humanity doesn't think like him since it is so obvious to him that his thinking is the only way to think (always and about everything.) My oldest child cannot understand why people have problems writing stories when it is so easy (for her.) My youngest doesn't understand how come other people don't know how to charm babies since she can do it so easily. And don't even get me started on my husband and his surprise that others cannot see how the oil is about to run out.

So Balak, being Balak, cannot comprehend the idea that such a large and powerful group of people can just peacefully pass through without destroying everything in their path and killing everyone they encounter. I suppose he thinks "That's what I would do in their place." And he panics and calls for Bil'am. Bad move.

We really need to get out of our own heads and see other people as other people who are not us. I think it will promote peace on earth, good will to man and a great decline in Prozac usage. I'm going to start by accepting the fact that my baby is no longer a baby and she will not want to spend all summer hanging around me.

Sob.

The same thing can be something entirely different for different people. Take ice cream. I bought a carton of plain vanilla. Number one daughter dressed it up with cherries cooked in balsamic vinegar. Number two daughter mixed in pretzels and chocolate syrup. I tend to leave ice cream alone; it gets so tiring carrying it around on my hips for months and months.

A different approach to ice cream

2 cups pitted and halved cherries

2 Tbs good quality balsamic vinegar (It is very much worth it to buy the good stuff. You won't believe the difference in flavor)

1 Tbs sugar (I like brown but the whole thing is optional anyway, You can skip the sugar altogether)

 4 scoops of vanilla ice cream (I suppose it will work with other flavors, too, but vanilla is the best suited for it)

In a small saucepan, stir together cherries, vinegar and sugar (if using).
Bring to a boil over medium heat and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Serve over ice cream.

Makes 4 servings

 

Meanwhile, there is one thing about the parasha that I just don't get: When that donkey started talking, wasn't Bil'am shocked? surprised? awed? amazed? How come he simply carried on as if nothing unusual (not to say supernatural) has just happened? It is not every day that one has a conversation with one's ass, is it?