Irreplaceable

Let's say you were told that you are going to die, what will be your first reaction? I believe most people will protest, freak out or try to find a loophole. How many of us would respond with "Please pick someone to replace me so my work will not suffer"? Most of us believe we are irreplaceable. Very arrogant of us yet very human, too.

Moshe, being great and all, asked G-d, not to change the verdict, not for an explanation, but to "choose someone to lead the people so they won't get lost".

He knew what he was talking about. Remember, these are the people who kept arguing, complaining, rebelling, threatening to go back to Egypt and generally behaving like a bunch of unruly kids. Look what happened when he left them alone for 40 days to get the Torah. Just imagine what trouble they can get into if he leaves for good.

So upon being informed that he is to die soon, he thinks about their well being first. And only. That's greatness right there. The Israelites did not know how lucky they were to have Moshe look after their well being.

Nor did I. Here I was, after I-don't-know-how-many hours of traveling (do NOT choose to have a 14 hours layover in Zurich on the way to Israel), with one kid half asleep and the other 3/4 of the way there, too; with hubby in hyper mode and myself aching in every bone (darned narrow seats), and it's the dawn of a brand new day, which means we cannot really go to bed. But I have someone to watch over me. My amazing sister, who has already arranged for a house, car, food, phone, and everything else one may need, welcomed us by whisking away the sleeping teenagers, sending her own teenager to schlepp our bags up the many stairs, ordering her husband to prepare breakfast for everyone and pushing me down into the most comfortable chair in the house. Within one hour we were all showered, fed, rested and relaxed enough to carry on a reasonable conversation (you know, the kind where you are able to put together words and have them come out meaning something close to what you wanted to say.)

It is 5 days later and she is still taking care of us. Like I said: I did not know how lucky I was.

This week's parasha (You thought I was done, huh?) is very quirky. It keeps jumping from one subject to another. For example, once the issue of who will take care of the people once Moshe is gone is settled, the Torah moves on to a totally unrelated subject: what, when and how many animals are to be sacrificed for every holiday. How is that related to anything? It's a typical Jewish attitude to life: sad things happen, move on. It seems callous. Hello! Moshe was just told he would die. And he publicly announced his support for his replacement. Can we take a moment here to acknowledge his feelings? Or at least say a kind word about his long and faithful service? Nope. We move on. Because, the Torah always says, life goes on and it's the life that goes on that we need to be concerned with. Note that Moshe himself agrees with this attitude. He was only concerned with what would happen to those he would leave behind. None of us are so irreplaceable that we are more important than those who will have to carry on later. It's a humbling thought. And it should make us lead our lives (and especially our relationships) from a whole different angle. 

And first of all, we should realize and acknowledge those around us who contribute to our well being and happiness instead of concentrating on our own greatness. 

One thing my sister did that made me totally happy was to cook the following dish. It smelled great, it tasted wonderful, she is a vegetarian and yet cooked meat for me and, best of all, it's a dish I did not have to cook myself. Is there greater pampering?

Doda Vered's Indian Turkey

2-3 Tbs vegetable oil
1 very large onion chopped
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp black mustard seeds
2 Lbs turkey thigh meat, cut into small cubes (about 1/2 inch)
1/4 tsp each curry, ground cumin, turmeric
1/8 tsp cinnamon
Salt to taste


Cook onion in oil until golden brown.
Add cumin seeds and mustard seeds and cook, stirring, for a minute or two until fragrant.
Add turkey and cook, stirring occasionally, until it changes color, about 3-5 minutes.
Add the rest of the ingredients (make sure you add the salt last), turn heat to low, cover and cook 5 more minutes.

Serve over rice, pasta or along a green salad.

Serves 4-6



I must remember to stop thinking I am the best ever. While it is true, of course, there are moments (sometimes even whole days) when others outshine me. Hard to admit, but there it is.

Keep it short

Have you noticed how some prayers tend to go on and on, including everything and anything in the list of requests or praises? Not that I oppose to praising G-d. But I suspect He sometimes gets a little tired. You know how, when you talk on the phone with someone who goes on and on, who insists on going into every minute detail of the story they are telling, you sometimes roll your eyes and wish with all your heart that she (it is usually a 'she') will run out of words? When anyone from my husband's family calls to wish me a Happy Birthday, or even to talk about the weather, the call usually takes forever. My contribution is usually about 30 seconds long, mainly consisting of "thanks, oh same to you, yes, thank you, nice of you to say" and such. The other person starts blessing me (which is very nice) And. Does. Not. Stop. They cover all events, real or imaginary, past, present and future and include three or four wishes for each.  You might think I am an ingrate (which is also true but besides the point) but try to listen to 5 or 10 minutes of consistent good wishes (when you feel obligated to respond to each and you quickly run out of variations on 'thank you') and you'll see what I mean.

So it seems to me G-d just might be getting a little tired of the long winded prayers. But, you say, what about everything we want to say? We must praise Him in all His glory. And, when asking for things, as long as we have His attention, shouldn't we also mention everything that needs fixing? And, anyway, these prayers have been around for millenniums, what do you want us to use?

Let's see what Moshe, the greatest leader we ever had, the great teacher, the most modest person, the one who was on a 'one-on-one' relationship with G-d, had to say when he wanted something:

Realizing that G-d is very busy (running the world and all) and a bit short tempered (emphasis on 'short') right now, Moshe used what is probably the shortest prayer in history. 6 words. Why so short? I have encountered occasions in my life when I was in great distress. And I have noticed that my prayers on these occasions tended to be super short. Why? Maybe I was afraid to lose G-d's attention if I start to go on and on about everything else that I might ask for. Maybe when we are in pain (physical or emotional) we acquire 'tunnel vision' and get to the point much faster.

So by all means, on an every day basis, go on and on about Beit Hamikdash and parnassa and Grandma's arthritis. But when calling on an urgent matter, keep it short and to the point. G-d, as I said, is very busy. Help Him to help you.

BTW, what did Moshe ask for?  For G-d to heal Miriam. My friend Mara is in need of healing. I have been praying for her every day. I keep it short because it does not require many words to express this sentiment. She seems to be doing well, thank G-d, but meanwhile, she was told to eat a lot of fish. W-e-l-l. For this I won't even bother G-d. I can do that one myself (using my G-d given talents, of course.)

This recipe is a variation on a dish my friend Liora brought over one Shavu'ot. It was an immediate hit. It is actually very popular in Israel and has about 5 million versions, all yummy.


(Oh, and it has a weird name)

Kh'raimeh (Fish in spicy sauce)


2 heaping Tbs tomato paste
1/2 cup boiling water
1 tsp each: hot paprika, cumin, coriander, granulated garlic.
1/2 tsp salt
1 medium onion, chopped
4 Tbs vegetable oil
1 whole hot pepper of your choice, fresh
3-4 garlic cloves
6-8 fillets of firm white fleshed fish (tilapia, cod, hake, haddock, orange roughy, etc.)
1/2 cup water


Mix together the ingredients from the first four lines above.
In a wide, deep pan saute the onion in the oil until golden. Add hot pepper, garlic and the spice mixture. Bring to a boil over medium heat.
Add fish (making sure it is in one layer; hence the wide deep pan) and second 1/2 cup of water. Return to a boil.
Cover partially and cook over low heat for about 20 minutes until fish is ready (flakes when cut with fork.)

Note: the number of fish fillets is actually quite flexible. Whatever fits into the pan, as long as it is in one layer and covered by the sauce.




Pray. All the time. And don't think it must always be the whole, long, sometimes boring, traditional prayers. G-d is just as happy with short prayers. Just make sure that, no matter the length, it comes from a true heart. 

Refuah Sh'lema to Mara and all who need healing.

Moonwalking

In this week's parasha, Moshe says to the people of Israel "This thing that G-d asks of you is not up in the sky that you have to say 'who will go up to the sky and bring it to us'; nor is it at the bottom of the sea that you might say 'who will go to the bottom of the sea and bring it to us'."

In the millennia that  passed since Moshe said these words, man did go up in the sky and to the bottom of the sea. Did they bring back that which is so difficult for us to do?

A few weeks ago Neil Armstrong died. When he made his famous landing, someone asked the Lubavitcher Rebbe if the new horizons opened by this event negate any Jewish teachings. The answer was that to assume that we are the only settled planet in the universe is to limit G-d's greatness and that even though a man touched the moon, most men still cannot touch it (as stated during the blessing of the new moon.) So, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Moshe apparently anticipated this problem and he explained that what G-d asks of us is not far, nor is it difficult. It is right here in our hearts and in our mouths. Anyone can reach their own heart and their own mouth, can't they?

We used to have a saying in the IDF: "I can't" is first cousin to "I don't want to". Humans were given free choice. G-d gave it to us along with the ability to follow the Torah. The rest is up to us. Just as we can build submarines and explore the bottom of the sea; or spaceships to take us to the moon (or to Mars), so too, we can choose to believe in G-d, to love Him and to do that which He asked us to do.

Recently I have been feeling as if everything is too difficult. This summer was very harsh. Hot, dry, cruel. Everything hubby planted in the garden either did not grow, died or was eaten by the chipmunks. And then he started bringing eggplants in. Now, I have already discussed eggplants when he bought a small mountain of them at Restaurant Depot and I had to come up with many dishes to overcome it; but this is different. These eggplants are too small for eggplant Parmesan, too irregularly shaped to slice and fry and too delicate to chop and saute. And I can't eat anything fried when it's this hot outside. Now what?

Calorie free (I think) eggplant salad

Fire up your grill and cook the following:

3 large tomatoes

2 small hot peppers (I don't know what they're called. They're light green and chunky)

8 small eggplants (small are better since they are more tender but if not, use 3 large)

Grill everything until the peel chars. Put in a bowl and cover until cool enough to touch (I was too lazy so I didn't do anything until the next day.) Then peel tomatoes and peppers and scoop flesh out of the eggplants.

Chop everything roughly (or smoothly, get whatever consistency appeals to you) and add:

1 small, light green hot pepper (like banana pepper), minced

2 large garlic cloves, minced

1/3 cup fresh parsley leaves, chopped

Salt and pepper

Mix well. Serve chilled. Makes about one and a half cups.

We're getting very close to Yom Kippur, when our fate will be decided. "Who shall live and who shall die."

"And you shall choose life" Says D'varim 30:19. Wise choice. Not up in the sky, not at the bottom of the sea. Right here. In our hearts and in our mouths. Doable.

We, the people

This week's parasha is really scary. It's full of horrible things that will happen to the Israelites if they fail to obey G-d's commandments. Oy, the horrors. The list of terrible things go on and on for page after page. If you don't listen, says Moshe, you will starve even if you work real hard, your kids will die in front of your eyes, your country will be given to some worthless barbarians, all sorts of sickness will happen to you, etc, etc. Oy Vey.

What's up with that? What's with the scare tactics?

Well, looking back on history, it seems they were needed. The Israelites certainly did all kinds of dumb things, breaking every rule in the book and practically every horrible thing they were threatened with, really did happen.

I remember one bad thing in particular. A few years ago I was sitting in shul one Shabbat around this time of year and the Rabbi was discussing the fact that that week was the birthday of Gilad Shalit, who was still in captivity at that time. I was half listening and half reading the text and I came upon D'varim 28:32: "Your sons and daughters will be given to another people and your eyes will see and pine in vain for them all day long but your hand will be powerless". And then I saw D'varim 28:41 "You will bear sons and daughters but they will not be yours for they will go into captivity".

Oy, indeed.


But sometimes G-d is pleased with us and sends us a bounty of blessings. Naturally, G-d has a sense of humor and even His blessings can be a burden (see: teenage daughters.) So this summer hubby has an abundance of peppers. Not surprising, as he planted many peppers. What's weird, though, is that he planted both hot and sweet peppers yet they all came up hot. Very hot. Lava-level. What to do? Can't throw away G-d's blessing. And I assume He has a hidden message in the hot-that-were-supposed-to-be-sweet peppers. So now what?

Now it's time for S'chug.

Scary Yemenite super hot sauce

Word of warning: This is very hot. Israelis have no problem with it. We grow up eating it. All others - you have been warned. It's really good with hummus, felafel,  and some people use it with yogurt, but use minute amounts (1/8 tsp, with lots of bread nearby, just in case) until you know how much you can take. Really.

1 whole head of garlic (peeled)

4 oz fresh hot peppers (green Serrano or jalapeno or other really hot ones. Hubby's are way hotter than plain jalapenos but maybe it's better to start with mild stuff. Yes, jalapenos are 'mild' compared to what Israelis eat.). Remove stems. Keep seeds unless you really don't like hot stuff (in which case, why are you making this?)

large bunch of cilantro (about one cup of leaves), washed and dried

1/4 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp turmeric (optional)

1 tsp salt

1/4 cup olive oil (or less)

Put everything except the oil in a food processor. Pulse a few times. Add 2 Tbs oil, pulse again. Scrape the sides of the bowl. Process until well chopped, adding oil one Tbs at a time. Add only enough oil for the mixture to come together. The end result looks a little like very smooth pickle relish.

Keep in a jar with tight fitting lid. Don't worry about how much this makes. The stuff keeps in the fridge forever. I mean, what will survive in it?

See, sometimes, we need to think carefully even about the blessings. And certainly about how to avoid the bad stuff.

It's almost Rosh Hashana. We'd better start paying attention, no? It's a time for reflection. We must reflect on what happens when we ignore words that are clearly written in our book.

Wait, written? Isn't D'varim a long speech? Well, In chapter 27 verse 9 it says "Moshe and the Kohanim, the Levi'im spoke to all Israel, saying: Be attentive and hear, O, Israel, this day you have become a people to Hashem your G-d".  This day? What about Sinai?

Well, says Rashi, Moshe (as will be explained in a later parasha, at the end of D'varim) wrote everything down (guessing, correctly, that oral law is all good and well but written law is easier to remember and harder to argue with) and handed the book to the Levi'im. The rest of the people got all worried that eventually the Levi'im will claim sole ownership of the book and cut the others out. Moshe was very pleased by this worry as it shows that they all love the Torah enough to fight for it and he says this shows they have matured enough to be a true people of G-d. Is the Torah only for the Levi'im? Unfortunately, there are people who think so to this day. There are people who would have the Torah and its message belong only to them and their little sect. To these people (one of them is actually named Moshe, if you can imagine) I say :" Yo, man, I, too, stood at Sinai. This is my Torah, too, and don't try to cut me out 'cause I am ready to fight for it."

You have been warned.

Macho nacho

Many (many, many) years ago, when I was very young, and extremely stupid (as opposed to today when I am no longer young), I went on a hiking trip with my boyfriend (Hubby's previous role) and his 2 best friends in the mountains of Galilee. We saw a breathtaking arch cave, we crawled inside another cave (not my favorite moment) and we finished the day in Acco, in a fish restaurant on the waterfront. As we were waiting for the food to arrive, Danny, hubby's #1 best friend, picked up a hot pepper from the little bowl in the center of the table and said "Anyone who eats this by itself is a real man". I happen to love spicy foods and during my misspent youth was able to eat really spicy stuff without a flinch so I picked up a pepper and ate the whole thing in two bites. I told you I was amazingly stupid. 

This week's parasha contains a lot of things, but modern women usually relate best to the story of the daughters of Tzelaphchad. This group of innovative girls dared do something that most women at the time wouldn't dream of doing. They questioned the law. You see, the law used to say that a man's estate goes to his sons and long and boring discussions explained how the estate is divided among the sons in a fair and legal way. Tzelphchad, however, had only daughters, and when he died the question came up of what is to be done with his stuff. Enter 5 daring women, who approached Moshe and said "Dude, our dad had no sons, now what?"

To his great credit, Moshe did not do what a lot of other men throughout history did, what some still do, what he easily could have done. He did not tell them to go back to the kitchen and not bother their pretty little heads about it. He said "Let's ask G-d" which is exactly the answer he gave men who brought legal questions before him. And G-d surprised everyone by saying that the women were right (Did you hear that, dear? The women were right.) I can just imagine the hullabaloo around the camp: "Ya give them the right to talk and next thing ya know these vixens ask for an inheritance. What next? the vote, perhaps?"

A few parashot back we had another person who claimed he was not getting his fair share and why should he be deprived of it. That person was swallowed by the very ground he was standing on. Now here are women, who, in the ancient world were not supposed to have many rights and certainly not the right to question the leader, doing exactly that. And not only aren't they punished, they get what they want. They also get validation from the Almighty Himself. What is that about?

It's about hot peppers, is what it's about. It's about being smart enough to know when to be bold and when to be gentle. It is about presenting yourself in a respectful and respectable way instead of showing off just to be pushy and prove a point that is better left alone. It's about what you say, how you say it, when you say it and who you say it to. 

Women's rights are extremely important and we should always work to correct injustice and speak up against it. But if we lose our femininity along the way or if we present our case in a rude or arrogant manner, our chances of being heard are diminished and so is everything gentle and pleasant that makes us, women, so much more civilized than men. 

Still, I really like spicy stuff.

Spicy bean salsa

1 1/2 cups dry beans (red, kidney, black eyed peas, pink, small white, whatever. Use a mixture)

2 bay leaves

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 large onions, chopped

8 large garlic cloves, sliced

4 mild peppers (these are the longish, light green ones sometimes called frying peppers), seeded ans sliced

1 or 2 fresh jalapeno peppers seeded and sliced 

1 tsp turmeric

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp coarse salt

1/2 tsp coriander

1/4 tsp black pepper

12 oz corn kernels (frozen)

2 cans (14 1/2 oz each) diced tomatoes, do not drain)

1/2 cup salsa (mild, medium or hot)

Juice of 2 limes

1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro (substitute parsley only if you absolutely must)

1. Cover beans with water and soak overnight. Drain. Cover again with water, add bay leaves and cook until fork tender (3-5 hours).

2. In a large pot saute onions in oil over medium high heat until light brown (stir occasionally.) Add garlic and cook for one minute. Add peppers and stir well. Cook for 5-7 minutes or until peppers start to soften. Stir occasionally.

3. Add cooked beans, tomatoes, corn, salsa and all the spices. Mix well. Bring to a boil. Cook for 1 hour, partially covered, over low heat (not super low, the pot should be a little bubbly.)

4. Add lime juice and cilantro and remove from heat.

5. Serve over rice or with tortilla chips for scooping. Also good as a filling for a burrito or enchilada (just stuff inside a tortilla, add cheese and proceed.) I also used it in a quesadilla. Yum.

This makes a lot. I can't really say how much exactly but we ate it for days. Luckily it keeps in the fridge for more than a week (I guess nothing can survive in it.) I'd say it can easily serve 8 people as a meal if you add rice.