Simply brilliant

Yosef's solution to the horrible future ahead of Egypt is so simple and so brilliant that of course Pharaoh puts him in charge of the whole country. I suppose that, what with being a king (and believing he was a god) and all, the man knew quality when it smacked him in the face.

You gotta wonder, though, what sort of idiots Pharaoh was dealing with in his every day life that he would be so impressed with such an obvious solution to the point of appointing a criminal slave to be his second in command. 

Ancient Egypt wasn't a measly little hamlet. It was an empire. The most advanced country of that time. One would assume that the ruler of such a place would have in his employ the brightest minds available. And of course he had dream solvers around. How come they had no idea what was the meaning of the king's dream? The Torah said specifically that he gathered all the magicians and all the sages and none of them could solve the dream. 

Now we know Yosef had a gift with dreams. But he couldn't have been the only man in the world who can do that. How come no one else figured it out? Why, Yosef himself gives the answer to that question. In Beresheet chapter 41 verse 16, he tells the king that G-d will be the one to solve the dream. And he impresses the king so much that Pharaoh says "Is there any other man who has G-d's spirit in him like this one?" (verse 38.) That is, Pharaoh not only is impressed by Yosef's wisdom, he has also accepted Yosef's statement that his wisdom comes from G-d.

Yosef's advice was excellent. Naturally. Since he took it straight from G-d. Also, it was a perfect solution to the double problem of what to do with the surplus and how to eat during the famine.


For Thanksgivukkah we have a double problem, too. Latkes are served with applesauce. Turkey is served with cranberry sauce. There is enough cooking and enough dirty dishes around that the last thing we want is to cook two extra dishes. The solution is simple, brilliant and obvious:


Apple-Cranberry sauce

2 cups fresh or frozen cranberries
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup sweet red wine
4 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, cubed (1/2 inch cubes)


Cook the first 5 ingredients over low heat for 20 minutes.
Add apple cubes, cover and cook another 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add water only if needed.

10-12 servings




Every problem has a solution. We just need to accept that we may not know everything and learn how to consult with an expert.




Happy Thanksgivukkah, y'all.

Play the hand you were dealt

You know how some people (like me, for example) always complain about their lot in life? "Oh, if only I was as smart as my brother, I would have been more successful"; "Of course so and so is thin. She has good genes"; "I, too, would be happy all the time if I won the lottery." All excuses.

I don't have boys, but I am given to understand that brothers spend most of their formative years beating each other up. Didn't Yosef's brothers read that memo? Yeah, yeah, he was Daddy's pet (read 'pest') but you gotta admit it was a bit extreme to sell him into slavery. Really? That's a little final, isn't it? And as angry as they were at Ya'akov for favoring the little brat, did they really wish to cause all that grief and misery?

So what would you have us do, ask the brothers, he was annoying us to the point of madness. Was there anything else we could do to stop his taunting?

Well, I don't know. Just as I don't know why the Torah inserts that cliff hanger right after Ya'akov is told about Yosef dying and before we find out what happened to Yosef. The Torah takes a little detour to tell us a side story that is so totally unrelated that you've gotta wonder if the editor lost his mind for a moment. It's a very short detour and it certainly increases the suspense, but still, what is it doing here?

It's a story about a young woman who was exceptionally unlucky in her marriages. Husbands kept dying on her and finally her father in law sends her back home with some vague promises, trying to save his remaining son from the killer lady. But Tamar is no fool. Like the woman who will marry her great great great great great grandson, she used a creative interpretation of the law of the land in order to solve her problem. She knew she must marry a member of her dead husbands' family in order to have a child and she knew there is very little chance Yehuda will let her marry Shela after her first 2 husbands died. She tricked Yehuda into giving her a child and even he had to admit that she was correct. He owed her the right to have children.

What is this little side story doing here? This is a story about someone who found herself in a bind. Someone forced her into a situation that might or might not end well with no telling when the outcome will happen. She couldn't wait that long so she found a creative, yet legal, solution. 

What could Yosef's brothers learn from this? That there are many possible solutions to a bratty little brother besides faking his death and selling him into slavery. They could beat him up, they could give him a swirly, they could tie his shoelaces together, they could steal his candy. There are so many ways to pay him back for being aggravating, the mind boggles. 

Not to mention the fact that Yosef's brothers were quite a bit older than him. Most of them were already married with families of their own. Let the kid brag. What harm can he do? And if Daddy likes him better, oh well. You have your place in Daddy's life, and Yosef has his. Play the hand you were dealt.

So here is a way to play the hand we were dealt: A Chanukah and a Thanksgiving occurring on the same day. Chanukah means latkes. Thanksgiving means pumpkin (well, OK, turkey. But pumpkin is a main theme there too and I have vegetarians to appease. Work with me here.) Let's find a creative solution. Like Pumpkin Latkes. You may think it's weird but you gotta admit it beats selling a family member into slavery. Although.....


Pumpkin Latkes


Vegetable oil
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
1 small sugar pumpkin, peeled, seeded and shredded (about 3 cups)
2 eggs
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper


Cook onion in 1 Tbs oil until soft and browned (12-15 minutes.)
Mix onion with The other ingredients.
Heat about a 1/4 cup oil in a skillet over medium-high heat and fry heaping tablespoons of the pumpkin mixture, 3 or 4 at a time.
Flatten each latke with the back of the spatula and cook until browned on both sides and soft in the middle, about 3 minutes per side. 
Transfer to a wire rack set over a baking sheet.
Serve warm with apple-cranberry sauce.
serves 10

BTW, you can substitute potato starch for the flour for a touch of potato flavor (also for a gluten free version.)






I am always in awe of how brilliant the women of the bible were. Especially compared to some of the men. Isn't it interesting that "The more things change...."?

Read more here: http://www.idahostatesman.com/2013/11/06/2852988/use-pumpkin-for-holiday-latkes.html#storylink=cpy

A touch of red

Naturally, we are most interested in Ya'akov, seeing as we are all descended from him. The Talmud, and most Jewish tradition, presents Esav as a mean, dumb, useless appendage to the story. But, if we have no use for Esav, why does the Torah bother to devote a whole chapter (36), 43 whole verses, to what happened to him, who his children and grandchildren were and so on? 

 I cannot tell you how many times I have heard observant Jews bad mouth non Jews. Not all, mind you. Most simply ignore their existence and achievements, even as they benefit from them. But some, usually those who are newly observant, seem to think that saying bad things about the goyim is the 11th commandment. I had to sit through many Shabbatot, listening to hate speak about strangers whose only crime was a different skin color, being born in a different country or attending a church instead of a synagogue. Thank G-d I also know some people (most notably, an orthodox rabbi) who do not hesitate to give credit where credit is due and to acknowledge that people are to be judged as individuals and not by one's prejudices about the group they happen to belong to. 

 Maybe Beresheet 36 was included for the hate mongers. To remind them that Esav was also Yitzchak's son, and as such, deserves respect (however begrudging.) True, the commentators tore chapter 36 apart, using every word in it to prove that Esav and his descendants were evil and corrupt; but the fact remains that the Torah saw fit to include his history within its holy pages.

Or, possibly, these were included to remind Esav's descendents that they are related to the very people they are constantly trying to destroy. To show them that we carry them no grudge and are more than willing to live in peace as one big happy family ("The Humans".)

I'd like to think that this is a reminder to both of Yitzchak's sons that they are both from the important lineage of Avraham and as such, they should learn to live in harmony, each in his own place. Just before chapter 36, the Torah says that Yotzchak died and "his sons, Esav and Ya'akov, buried him". Together. As brothers. With Esav mentioned first as befits the firstborn even if he never got his firstborn's share. Esav moved away because there wasn't enough room in Kna'an for both their households. True, he had various other reasons (say the commentators), but chapter 36 verse 7 states clearly that this was his reason.

Can we live in peace? Probably not, based on history. Can we try and point out to Edom that he is a brother? Not as long as we hate his guts and don't even bother to hide it. 

Meanwhile, Edom is here to stay. And if he disappears, we will be left alone with the descendants of Yishma'el. Think about that for a while.

Here is a little salad that has a touch of red (Edom) in it. It is a good mixture of old world, new world, far east, middle east and the tropics, as far as the ingredients list is concerned. If this mixture can create something so wonderful, don't you think humanity can do it, too?

 

Autumn Arugula Salad with Caramelized Squash, Spiced Pecans and Pomegranate Ginger Vinaigrette

2 tablespoons oil
1 acorn squash, unpeeled, sliced in 1/2-inch thick rounds and seeds removed
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepped
2 teaspoons brown sugar
1/2 cup whole pecans, chopped
1/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
6 cups baby arugula
1 avocado, sliced thinly or cubed
Seeds from 1 pomegranate
1 seedless cucumber, halved and sliced thinly (peeling is optional)

pomegranate ginger vinaigrette
1/3 cup pomegranate juice
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated ginger
1 garlic clove, freshly grated
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/3 cup olive oil

Sprinkle salt and pepper over the squash slices and cook them in oil, in a large skillet, over medium high heat for about 5 minutes per side or until golden all over, adding the brown sugar about halfway through to help the squash caramelize. 

In a small saucepan toast the pecans over low heat until they are slightly golden and fragrant, stirring and shaking the pan as they toast, for about 5 minutes. Toss them with the pumpkin pie spice.

In a large salad bowl mix the arugula with salt and pepper. Add the avocado, pomegranate seeds, cucumber, pecans and squash pieces.

Whisk together pomegranate juice, vinegar, ginger, garlic, salt and pepper. Stream in the olive oil while constantly whisking until the dressing comes together. Toss with the salad.


serves 6 



Sowing hatred only leads to more hatred all around. Aren't we supposed to set an example?

Two for the price of one

Isn't that the sweetest deal? Whenever I see this in any store's circular or advertisement, I can't help but check it out. Even when it is obviously not something I will ever consider buying (Jewelery, pork chops, fur coats, ready made meals, etc.) Why are we so fascinated by it? And don't pretend you're innocent here. Everyone loves a freebie. 

Except that was soooo not the deal Ya'akov was offered. Or wanted. Which sort of sucks. Unfortunately, he dealt with Lavan, who was a crook. How do I know? Because later in the parasha, when Ya'akov wants to go back home and discusses it with his wives (two-for-one, remember?) they both say the same thing: "Hello? Why should we care about Dad? He treated us like property and has been getting fat and rich on the fruits of our labor." And let that be a lesson to all Dads anywhere re:You may get away with treating your sons like cheap labor, but woe be to the father who mistreats his daughters. Just ask hubby. The poor guy has to walk on eggshells around his womenfolk. The girls make fun of him, get angry with him, roll their eyes every time he tries to talk and in general treat him as a relic from another era. True, they treat me the same way, but I am sort of immune to it because, unlike fathers, most mothers not only accept the fact that children grow up and become disillusioned with their parents' supposed wisdom and omnipotence, they actually welcome it. I know I feel endless relief every time my girls prepare dinner while I take a nap. It's the reward for all the years of hard work I have put into raising them. Men, on the other hand, have huge trouble with the concept of their little princess growing up. And no wonder. Suddenly they lose the only female in the household who thinks they're smart, strong and capable. It's tough.

But! That does not justify what Lavan did to his girls. Which was, as they said, treating them like property. If he really cared about Leah's feelings, he should have found her another husband. Or, at the very least, discussed it with all parties involved. Because think how everyone felt the next morning:

Ya'akov, understandably, was angry.
Leah was probably beyond humiliated. Your brand new husband stomps through the camp, screaming that he was burdened with a woman he did not want.Ouch.
Rachel must have been heartbroken. She wanted to marry Ya'akov and had to suffer through seven more years. Not fun.

The only happy campers that day were Lavan, who felt he got rid of Leah (the, apparently, unmarriageable one) and is about to get seven extra years of free labor from the gullible yahoo from Kna'an, and, of course, the servants and neighbors, who were supplied with years' worth of gossip material.

The moral of the story is: when a deal looks too good to be true, you better check and double check the small print. Also, don't do business with corrupted uncles. 

Still, two for the price of one is a good deal. Especially when it is only offered once every 40,000 years or so. I am speaking, of course about Thanksgivukkah. The rare holiday when Chanukah and Thanksgiving happen on the same day. 

This, of course, is a huge day for cooks. Just think of all the possibilities. Deep fried turkey, latkes with apple-cranberry sauce, challah based stuffing, pumpkin sufganiyot. The mind boggles.

Now, as you know if you've been following this blog for a while, there is no way that I will ever do what is expected of me like a good little woman. Nuh-Ah. So I will not discuss Thanksgivukkah other than to recommend that you surf the net about it and incorporate whatever ideas you find into your holiday/s. Because it's fun and creative and, well, why not?

I will, however, give you a whole bunch of proper fall/Thanksgiving/ Chanukah recipes over the next few weeks and you can do whatever you want with them.

For example:


Pumpkin soup



1 Tbs oil
1/2 medium onion, chopped
1 tsp chopped garlic (about 1 large clove)
1 tsp fresh, chopped ginger root
1/2 tsp cumin
1 1/2 Lb pumpkin, peeled and cubed
3 cups vegetable (or chicken) broth
1 tsp dried chilli flakes (the kind you sometimes put on pizza)
3/4 cup coconut milk (or coconut cream if you want it extra rich)
Chopped cilantro and croutons, for serving.


Heat oil over medium heat and add onion, garlic, ginger and cumin. Cook until onion is soft but not brown (5-10 minutes), stirring occasionally. 
Add pumpkin and mix well. Continue cooking 5 minutes until the edges of the pumpkin cubes start to soften a bit.
Add broth, increase heat to high and cook until the pumpkin is very soft and the liquids are reduced to the point where the pumpkin is barely covered by them (20-30 minutes.)
Add chilli flakes and coconut milk and re-heat.
Puree soup in blender or with an immersion blender.
Serve with fresh chopped cilantro and croutons.

serves 4.




Don't sell your daughters short. And don't expect them to meekly accept the fate you choose for them. Times have changed. You no longer have to marry the older one off before the younger. You can no longer marry both off to the same man. You can no longer cheat your kids and their future spouses and get away with it. And you can no longer expect to live off the fruits of their labor. Actually, that part was probably true even back then, as Lavan eventually found out.