A ten foot pole

Tazria and Metsora are tough parashot. They're a bit "yucky" to read and discuss and almost unbearable to try and explain to school age kids.

Over the centuries, the sages explained that the 'leprosy' mentioned in these parashot is a generic name for various blemishes/diseases that befall specific sinners (namely, those who engage in gossiping).

What, exactly is so horrendous about gossip? After all, it is only talking. It's like those old wives tales about 'ain hara' - the evil eye. "Oh, no. So-and-so said something ugly about me. Now I will get sick (or lose my looks or my fortune)". Get serious. It's all just bubbe meisses. Old world silly superstitions. What one says or doesn't say cannot possible cause real harm to either say-er or say-ee.

Really? Ever heard of political correctness? Words hurt. And bad words that are said about you add a level of stress to your life that even being stuck in traffic for 3 hours can not. And we all know the effect that stress has on our health. Especially our skin.

No wonder the punishment for gossip is to be afflicted with bad skin. If you're gonna cause someone else such a level of stress that they will break out in hives, you should share this kind of misery. A person who is gossiped about often feels as if they have a huge pimple smack in the middle of their forehead and that everyone is staring at them. The person who has put them in this terrible situation deserves to have an actual pimple on their forehead so they can feel the same pain.

I have made a new year resolution (Pesach is considered the real "first day of the new year" in biblical terms): I will avoid gossip whenever possible. It's uphill work. Gossip is so much fun. Which is exactly why the Torah saw fit to speak up against it. And to scare us with  dire consequences if we do indulge in it.

In modern times, science has found that indulging in saying bad things about common acquaintances can result in social isolation. As much as we love hearing awful things about people we all hate, research shows that it is the person relating the juicy detail who sticks in our memory as being associated with whatever unsavory tidbit they shared, much more so than the one being gossiped about. Not to mention the logic of "If she talks that way about others, what does she say about me behind my back?" One would hesitate to truly befriend a full fledged gossip.

Meanwhile, the 2 parashot are still rather uncomfortable to read and discuss, being that they contain such detailed descriptions of things better left not described, except maybe in a medical book. As a teacher of pre-teens, my feelings about these parashot is: "I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole".

A lot of people feel the same way about some foods. Take okra. Or spinach. Or Brussels sprouts.

Why don't people like Brussels sprouts? My theory is that they don't get what they are. In Hebrew these are called "Cabbage buds". Which is an excellent description. They look like baby cabbages and they taste like a very delicate (i.e. baby vegetable) version of cabbage. Why not treat them as if they are cabbages? That is: shred them. 

Cute little baby cabbages

1 Lb Brussels sprouts, shredded (like you would shred it if it was a cabbage and you were making coleslaw)

2 Tbs olive oil (other oil will work, too)

1 Tbs water

A pinch each: salt, freshly ground black pepper, red pepper flakes

Juice from one lime (pick a nice, big, juicy one)

In a large frying pan or a wok, heat oil over high heat.

Add sprouts and stir fry for 2 minutes or until their color noticeably brightens.

Add water and immediately cover pan and lower heat to medium. Cook for 2 minutes.

Add spices. Remove from heat and mix in lime juice.

This makes quite a bit because even if you do like it, you can't eat too much of it. It's very filling.

For the sake of honesty I have to admit that even when they are made this way, my kids will not touch Brussels sprouts. You can't win them all, I suppose.