Something entirely different

Life, my mom likes to say, is what happens while you're making other plans. Here was Balak, all set to have the Israelites cursed to within an inch of their lives and here was Bil'am, all set to do what he was hired to do and here is what happened while they were making their plans. You almost feel sorry for these two. They worked so hard at it, sacrificing seven bulls and seven rams again and again and again, building altar after altar, fine tuning their methods in an attempt to achieve the best cursing possible. And failing gloriously time after time, poor men.

Why did they fail? Well, duh, because they went against G-d and His chosen people. But other people have tried to work against the Jews and succeeded quite well. At least temporarily. Balak and Bil'am failed from the very beginning. More than that, Bil'am knew that it wouldn't work. He tried real hard, true, but he kept explaining that there is no way to succeed because G-d is against it. And Balak would not listen. He kept insisting Bil'am curse them, even if only a little, or partially, or something. Anything. What's up with that? It's against logic. I mean, you wanna curse someone. OK. The person you hire to do it (the best in the land) tells you it can't be done. You insist. He tries against his better judgement. He fails. You insist again. Same scenario. Give it up. You're already out 14 bulls and 14 rams (and these were prime animals. No cheap sheep.) Why dig yourself a deeper hole?

If you go back to the beginning of the parasha, Balak gives a reason for his behavior. In Numbers 22:5-6 he says that this people came out of Egypt and they are a huge group and they are "settled next to me" and he asks Bil'am to curse them because they are "too numerous for me" and maybe by cursing them "I  can defeat them and drive them out". So Balak, king of Moav, was worried about the Israelites not because they did something to him, but because they were many and they camped nearby. The stories of their recent victories must have made the rounds all across the desert and Balak was afraid. And what does he do? He tries a trick to get out of a war he knows he cannot win. Is there only one way to do this? Apparently Balak thinks so. He did not stop to think the problem through. Why did the Israelites have to beat the pants off everyone else? Because everyone else were inconsiderate jerks. Time and again the Israelites asked for permission to pass through, promising not to touch any resources, not the water, not the food, not even the grass for their animals. Just let us through. Time and again the answer was "No way". So, time and again they had to fight their way through and, having G-d on their side, they won. If they had been given permission to pass quietly, they probably would have done so and everyone would have been happy. How could Balak miss that?

Easy. Most people cannot comprehend that others are, well, other. They attribute to other people their own motives and morals. My brother, for example, cannot understand that the rest of humanity doesn't think like him since it is so obvious to him that his thinking is the only way to think (always and about everything.) My oldest child cannot understand why people have problems writing stories when it is so easy (for her.) My youngest doesn't understand how come other people don't know how to charm babies since she can do it so easily. And don't even get me started on my husband and his surprise that others cannot see how the oil is about to run out.

So Balak, being Balak, cannot comprehend the idea that such a large and powerful group of people can just peacefully pass through without destroying everything in their path and killing everyone they encounter. I suppose he thinks "That's what I would do in their place." And he panics and calls for Bil'am. Bad move.

We really need to get out of our own heads and see other people as other people who are not us. I think it will promote peace on earth, good will to man and a great decline in Prozac usage. I'm going to start by accepting the fact that my baby is no longer a baby and she will not want to spend all summer hanging around me.

Sob.

The same thing can be something entirely different for different people. Take ice cream. I bought a carton of plain vanilla. Number one daughter dressed it up with cherries cooked in balsamic vinegar. Number two daughter mixed in pretzels and chocolate syrup. I tend to leave ice cream alone; it gets so tiring carrying it around on my hips for months and months.

A different approach to ice cream

2 cups pitted and halved cherries

2 Tbs good quality balsamic vinegar (It is very much worth it to buy the good stuff. You won't believe the difference in flavor)

1 Tbs sugar (I like brown but the whole thing is optional anyway, You can skip the sugar altogether)

 4 scoops of vanilla ice cream (I suppose it will work with other flavors, too, but vanilla is the best suited for it)

In a small saucepan, stir together cherries, vinegar and sugar (if using).
Bring to a boil over medium heat and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Serve over ice cream.

Makes 4 servings

 

Meanwhile, there is one thing about the parasha that I just don't get: When that donkey started talking, wasn't Bil'am shocked? surprised? awed? amazed? How come he simply carried on as if nothing unusual (not to say supernatural) has just happened? It is not every day that one has a conversation with one's ass, is it?