Happy ending

And then he climbed to the top of the mountain and looked upon the land of his dreams that he would never reach and he died there.

What an ending, huh? If it was in a movie we'd all be annoyed. And why not? We are programed to have happy endings. We expect them. As if it's a right. Like the pursuit of happiness. 

But life is not like in the movies. In life, things don't necessarily happen the way we want them to and the hero sometimes loses.

Or does he?

For forty years Moshe led the people in the desert. It's not an easy life. It's very hot in the desert and no matter how hard you try, you cannot escape the sand. There were times of no water. There were times of no food. There were times of war and defeat and rebellion. Again and again he was disappointed by these very people he was working so hard to save. Sometimes he even had to convince G-d to spare them while being angry with them himself. 

And over and over again he had to see them taking his pure teachings, the words he got from G-d and tried so hard to pass along to them as clearly as possible, and throw them away carelessly. As if they were worthless and unimportant. As if they were not written upon his heart and soul, in blood and pain. 

And you'd think he would at least have his reward now and see the land he worked so hard to bring them to. 

Have you ever read beyond the end of D'varim? The books that come after the Israelites entered the promised land are mostly depressing for a spiritual leader. First of all, they are constantly at war or being occupied. Secondly, they are constantly doing "that which is bad in the eyes of G-d". 

The land may have been wonderful but the people kept being the same heart breakers they have been all along. 

Suppose Moshe did enter the land as their leader. He would have had to keep on fighting enemies. Those who try to kill you physically, those who try to kill you spiritually and those who break your heart by ignoring your efforts. Didn't Moshe have enough heartache already?

G-d did a great chessed with Moshe. He showed him the land. From afar. Where it looks beautiful and full of promise. Where he couldn't see the thorns. The wars, the disappointments, the fights and suffering. Where he could enjoy the view unobstructed. And know that the land was real and wonderful and his suffering was worth it.

And then G-d took him. Gently, peacefully, privately. 

Happy ending.

Apples and Honey cake

2 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp ground cardamom (optional but really good)
1/2 cup margarine
1 cup honey
2 eggs
1 cup orange juice
1/2 cup snipped dried apples
3 Tbs honey


Preheat oven to 325F. Grease a 2-quart baking dish.

Stir together flour, baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda and cardamom.

Beat margarine with a mixer on medium speed for 30 seconds. Add 1 cup honey and eggs; beat until smooth.

Add flour mixture and orange juice alternately to the beaten mixture, beating on low speed until just combined. Pour into greased baking dish.

Bake for 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, pour boiling water over apples to cover. Let stand 15 minutes. Drain well. Sprinkle cake with apples.Bake another 15-20 minutes or until a wooden toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

In a small saucepan heat the 3 Tbs of honey just until warm; drizzle over warm cake.

Cool completely.

Makes 16 servings.

Memory

Moshe is ready. He has said everything there is to say. He is about to pass the leadership to his heir. He is done.

But G-d has something to say, too. G-d, who, of course, knows the future, tells Moshe that when he will die, the people will forget what he taught them, forsake G-d and turn to false idols. This will happen. G-d knows. All that can be done is to try and instill in the people some group memory that will ensure they will turn back to G-d when in the depth of despair and depravity. So G-d instructs Moshe to teach the people a poem that will help them make sense of things and maybe even help them find the way back. And He knows that they will use that memory when they are in the worst trouble. Maybe it will help them understand their suffering. Or accept it. Or overcome it. Or all three. 

Survivors of the holocaust tell of how religion sometimes helped them withstand the horrors of the camps. People would gather around anyone who remembered and could recite anything: a prayer, a few Torah verses, a blessing. They would listen to that person and warm themselves with his or her words. Being lucky enough not to have lived through the holocaust, we cannot truly understand how or why these words comforted them, but we can certainly relate this experience to this week's parasha. Words, recited verbally (as in poems), can serve as powerful tools of memory, invoking feelings long forgotten and offering comfort in the darkest of times. This may not have been G-d stated intention when He told Moshe to teach the poem to the people. His purpose was to remind them that He has predicted this suffering and it came upon them because of their sins. But humans have freedom of choice and people can choose to use the memory of Torah and Tefila as rays of hope for a better future.

My friend Aidella hosted a special evening a few months ago. We met the author of a book of recipes that were collected from holocaust survivors. It seems these people used to discuss recipes in great details while starving in the camps. I call that a victory of the human spirit. 

Here is my favorite one. You can find many more here: http://survivorcookbook.org/

 Lady's Whims Cake

6 Tbs vegetable oil

1/2 cup plus 3 Tbs sugar

1 Tbs vanilla

2 eggs, separated

1 1/2 cups flour

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

1 cup chopped walnuts

1/2 cup (or more) apricot or strawberry preserves

1. Mix together flour, baking soda and baking powder.

2. Cream oil and  1/2 cup sugar. Add vanilla, egg yolks and dry ingredients mix.

3. Knead well and spread in a greased pan (9x13).

4. Spread with jam and sprinkle walnuts.

5. Beat egg whites until stiff and add 3 Tbs sugar. Spread over the cake.

6. Bake in a pre-heated oven, at 350F for 25-30 minutes until the egg whites are golden.

It's Shabbat Shuva this week. The Shabbat of return. We hope to find the way back from the false idols we have been worshiping all year. We hope to invoke our racial memory and recall that, long ago and oh, so far away, we were living close enough to G-d that He would speak directly to our leaders. We want to remember, to repent and to return.

G'mar Khatima Tova.

Moonwalking

In this week's parasha, Moshe says to the people of Israel "This thing that G-d asks of you is not up in the sky that you have to say 'who will go up to the sky and bring it to us'; nor is it at the bottom of the sea that you might say 'who will go to the bottom of the sea and bring it to us'."

In the millennia that  passed since Moshe said these words, man did go up in the sky and to the bottom of the sea. Did they bring back that which is so difficult for us to do?

A few weeks ago Neil Armstrong died. When he made his famous landing, someone asked the Lubavitcher Rebbe if the new horizons opened by this event negate any Jewish teachings. The answer was that to assume that we are the only settled planet in the universe is to limit G-d's greatness and that even though a man touched the moon, most men still cannot touch it (as stated during the blessing of the new moon.) So, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Moshe apparently anticipated this problem and he explained that what G-d asks of us is not far, nor is it difficult. It is right here in our hearts and in our mouths. Anyone can reach their own heart and their own mouth, can't they?

We used to have a saying in the IDF: "I can't" is first cousin to "I don't want to". Humans were given free choice. G-d gave it to us along with the ability to follow the Torah. The rest is up to us. Just as we can build submarines and explore the bottom of the sea; or spaceships to take us to the moon (or to Mars), so too, we can choose to believe in G-d, to love Him and to do that which He asked us to do.

Recently I have been feeling as if everything is too difficult. This summer was very harsh. Hot, dry, cruel. Everything hubby planted in the garden either did not grow, died or was eaten by the chipmunks. And then he started bringing eggplants in. Now, I have already discussed eggplants when he bought a small mountain of them at Restaurant Depot and I had to come up with many dishes to overcome it; but this is different. These eggplants are too small for eggplant Parmesan, too irregularly shaped to slice and fry and too delicate to chop and saute. And I can't eat anything fried when it's this hot outside. Now what?

Calorie free (I think) eggplant salad

Fire up your grill and cook the following:

3 large tomatoes

2 small hot peppers (I don't know what they're called. They're light green and chunky)

8 small eggplants (small are better since they are more tender but if not, use 3 large)

Grill everything until the peel chars. Put in a bowl and cover until cool enough to touch (I was too lazy so I didn't do anything until the next day.) Then peel tomatoes and peppers and scoop flesh out of the eggplants.

Chop everything roughly (or smoothly, get whatever consistency appeals to you) and add:

1 small, light green hot pepper (like banana pepper), minced

2 large garlic cloves, minced

1/3 cup fresh parsley leaves, chopped

Salt and pepper

Mix well. Serve chilled. Makes about one and a half cups.

We're getting very close to Yom Kippur, when our fate will be decided. "Who shall live and who shall die."

"And you shall choose life" Says D'varim 30:19. Wise choice. Not up in the sky, not at the bottom of the sea. Right here. In our hearts and in our mouths. Doable.

Wishcraft

What do you eat on Rosh Hashana? I mean other than the brisket? Apples and honey, right? When I was a little girl, that was the only ritualistic food at the table. On a good year, we might get a pomegranate too.

Boy, was I in for  a culture shock when I married an Iranian Jew. Remind me to tell you about my first Seder with my in laws. But for now let's talk about the 7 or 8 different symbolic foods they eat for Rosh Hashana. Bad enough that they spoil your appetite for the yummy Iranian meal to come, but each is also accompanied by a blessing (which I can take) and a verse or 20 (which can get lengthy when it's uncle Solly reading it in his shaky Hebrew).

I used to think it was a special torture they have invented just for me but then I found out other Jews are doing it too. Worse, it's in the Talmud ( http://www.kashrut.com/articles/simanim/  )  i.e. - gotta do it. After that , I concentrated my efforts on convincing my mother-in-law (lovely woman and a motherly cook) to insert some "oomph" into the simanim. No go. Everything had to be baked plain, with the beets leaking into the squash and the beans coloring everything a lovely shade of mud brown. Sigh.

If you want something done right - you gotta do it yourself, everybody knows that. 

If you have to eat squash (we use butternut) - you might as well cube it, toss with olive oil, cumin, salt and maybe some cinnamon and roast at 400F until tender. Or bake cubes in a honey glaze with a little rosemary.Or, since the Talmud was really talking about a gray zucchini type of squash - saute it with some olive oil, garlic and rosemary (or thyme).

Beets (of leakage fame) can be boiled, peeled, sliced and tossed with crushed garlic, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper and chopped parsley. And, BTW, the Talmud meant beet greens, which are awesome when you wilt them in a little olive oil and garlic and add a touch of lemon juice.

A real easy one are dates. And you should go to Costco and buy their Medjool ones. You have never eaten a date until you have eaten a Medjool (or is it Mejdool?) date. And before you eat them - get the pit out and replace it with a blanched almond, or, if you can afford the calories (I can't) a little marzipan. Oh yum.

Pomegranate is best sprinkled on... well, almost anything really. But best is what I did last year.

Kvell alert!!

In honor of my oldest getting a 5 (highest possible grade) on her AP Art History test (in freshmen year of high school, yet), I cut star fruit (also known as karambola) into 5-pointed-star-shaped slices, sprinkled it with pomegranate seeds (so there will be many more 5s in her future) and drizzled the whole thing with warm honey. Now, this is what I call symbolic food. Worked, too. She got another 5 in AP English Language. Kein Yirbu.

Back to the simanim.

If you gotta have scallions - why not slice them into ribbons half way lengthwise, soak in ice water so they curl over like flowers and serve with a dipping sauce of soy sauce, fresh grated ginger, rice vinegar and sesame oil? And remember, the Talmud was talking about leeks, not scallions. And leeks are really good when you slice them and saute in a little oil (OK, OK, margarine, but it's so unhealthy) over low heat until all soft and falling apart (which, hello, is the point of the whole exercise), and then you add salt and pepper and if you want to get fancy, add sauteed mushrooms and minced herbs (thyme, marjoram, parsley, whatever.)

Or take the muddy beans. First of all, the Talmud doesn't even mention beans. What the Talmud says is to eat Rubia which is Fenugreek. But somewhere down the line the word got switched with one that sounded like it - Lubia, which means beans. Literally. This kind of thing happens all the time and it's really no one's fault and anyway, by now it became Iranian law and you know no one wants to argue with the Iranians. Fine, but why use canned kidney beans? Get the nice french green beans, cook them briefly in water and toss with some olive oil, lemon juice (fresh lemon juice only, please) salt, pepper and lemon zest (must have it; it brings the whole thing together.) Use long strips of zest. You don't eat them but they impart a fresh taste and look mighty pretty, too. If you must have canned beans, rinse and drain them and mix with some yellow bell peppers, parsley, red onion and a nice vinaigrette.

Even the famous apple and honey can be elevated into a higher plain of existence. Bake the apples whole, drizzle with honey and serve with a cinnamon stick inserted in place of the stem.

Fine, you say, all fine, good ideas, but what about that horror of the Rosh Hashana table? the one that gives little kids (and some adults) nightmares? what about the head of a fish? Huh? Huh?

Look, you think you've got trouble? Sephardim eat the head of a cow or a lamb. Thank G-d it's very hard to find these delicacies here in the USA. So my mother in law (Lovely woman. Really.) makes tongue. Not as bad but not much better. Especially if you're a vegetarian. Or just hate tongue. Or even the idea of tongue.

Still, what can you do? it's tradition, right? Even my mom used to stuff the head of the fish she gefilte-ed and serve it to my dad (for some reason that I never questioned, no one else was given that part of the fish. We should all be grateful for small mercies).

But we are here to solve problems and make life a little happier. A few years ago I found the solution. A whole bulb of garlic is called "A head" (at least in Hebrew it does). So I take one "head" per person, rub off as much of the papery outer layers as will come off easily, slice a bit off the top (just enough to expose the tops of some of the larger cloves), drizzle it with a generous amount of olive oil (really, there should be a blessing for olive oil in the Talmud, don't you think?), salt, pepper and fresh rosemary and bake the heads on a cookie sheet at 375F for about an hour - until the cloves go soft and mushy (believe me, this is an accurate description). At the table, everyone just squeezes the cloves out and spreads the garlic on fresh challah or any other bread you're serving at that meal. Breath mints optional, but it's nowhere near as bad as fresh garlic.

This takes care of the simanim that are in the Talmud. What about other simanim? Well, why stop at the traditional ones? Don't you have other wishes for the new year?

Last year I made a Devils' food cake for dessert. I baked it in a long rectangular pan and, with the help of my talented sister in law, drew a violin shape on it (with frosting), complete with Twizzlers for strings. You see,

 Kvell alert!!

my little one (who is taller than me) is a gifted musician who went in 10 months from never having touched a violin to playing it like a virtuoso. She then proceeded to teach herself to play the piano, play almost any tune from hearing and compose. "Accomplished", doesn't begin to describe this. Now, I love this song called "The Devil went down to Georgia" and I kept bugging her to learn it and play it for me (it's a fiddling song.) That cake (with her favorite candy for the strings) was my wish that she will do this. This one almost worked. She learned to play "Swan Lake" on the piano. Fair enough, since I wished for that one, too.


So get creative. It's a new year. You can wish for anything you want. It's a good time for it. G-d is listening very closely right now. Go for it.


Shana Tova to everyone. May this be the year when your heart's greatest desire will be fulfilled in the best possible way.

We, the people

This week's parasha is really scary. It's full of horrible things that will happen to the Israelites if they fail to obey G-d's commandments. Oy, the horrors. The list of terrible things go on and on for page after page. If you don't listen, says Moshe, you will starve even if you work real hard, your kids will die in front of your eyes, your country will be given to some worthless barbarians, all sorts of sickness will happen to you, etc, etc. Oy Vey.

What's up with that? What's with the scare tactics?

Well, looking back on history, it seems they were needed. The Israelites certainly did all kinds of dumb things, breaking every rule in the book and practically every horrible thing they were threatened with, really did happen.

I remember one bad thing in particular. A few years ago I was sitting in shul one Shabbat around this time of year and the Rabbi was discussing the fact that that week was the birthday of Gilad Shalit, who was still in captivity at that time. I was half listening and half reading the text and I came upon D'varim 28:32: "Your sons and daughters will be given to another people and your eyes will see and pine in vain for them all day long but your hand will be powerless". And then I saw D'varim 28:41 "You will bear sons and daughters but they will not be yours for they will go into captivity".

Oy, indeed.


But sometimes G-d is pleased with us and sends us a bounty of blessings. Naturally, G-d has a sense of humor and even His blessings can be a burden (see: teenage daughters.) So this summer hubby has an abundance of peppers. Not surprising, as he planted many peppers. What's weird, though, is that he planted both hot and sweet peppers yet they all came up hot. Very hot. Lava-level. What to do? Can't throw away G-d's blessing. And I assume He has a hidden message in the hot-that-were-supposed-to-be-sweet peppers. So now what?

Now it's time for S'chug.

Scary Yemenite super hot sauce

Word of warning: This is very hot. Israelis have no problem with it. We grow up eating it. All others - you have been warned. It's really good with hummus, felafel,  and some people use it with yogurt, but use minute amounts (1/8 tsp, with lots of bread nearby, just in case) until you know how much you can take. Really.

1 whole head of garlic (peeled)

4 oz fresh hot peppers (green Serrano or jalapeno or other really hot ones. Hubby's are way hotter than plain jalapenos but maybe it's better to start with mild stuff. Yes, jalapenos are 'mild' compared to what Israelis eat.). Remove stems. Keep seeds unless you really don't like hot stuff (in which case, why are you making this?)

large bunch of cilantro (about one cup of leaves), washed and dried

1/4 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp turmeric (optional)

1 tsp salt

1/4 cup olive oil (or less)

Put everything except the oil in a food processor. Pulse a few times. Add 2 Tbs oil, pulse again. Scrape the sides of the bowl. Process until well chopped, adding oil one Tbs at a time. Add only enough oil for the mixture to come together. The end result looks a little like very smooth pickle relish.

Keep in a jar with tight fitting lid. Don't worry about how much this makes. The stuff keeps in the fridge forever. I mean, what will survive in it?

See, sometimes, we need to think carefully even about the blessings. And certainly about how to avoid the bad stuff.

It's almost Rosh Hashana. We'd better start paying attention, no? It's a time for reflection. We must reflect on what happens when we ignore words that are clearly written in our book.

Wait, written? Isn't D'varim a long speech? Well, In chapter 27 verse 9 it says "Moshe and the Kohanim, the Levi'im spoke to all Israel, saying: Be attentive and hear, O, Israel, this day you have become a people to Hashem your G-d".  This day? What about Sinai?

Well, says Rashi, Moshe (as will be explained in a later parasha, at the end of D'varim) wrote everything down (guessing, correctly, that oral law is all good and well but written law is easier to remember and harder to argue with) and handed the book to the Levi'im. The rest of the people got all worried that eventually the Levi'im will claim sole ownership of the book and cut the others out. Moshe was very pleased by this worry as it shows that they all love the Torah enough to fight for it and he says this shows they have matured enough to be a true people of G-d. Is the Torah only for the Levi'im? Unfortunately, there are people who think so to this day. There are people who would have the Torah and its message belong only to them and their little sect. To these people (one of them is actually named Moshe, if you can imagine) I say :" Yo, man, I, too, stood at Sinai. This is my Torah, too, and don't try to cut me out 'cause I am ready to fight for it."

You have been warned.