Wishcraft

What do you eat on Rosh Hashana? I mean other than the brisket? Apples and honey, right? When I was a little girl, that was the only ritualistic food at the table. On a good year, we might get a pomegranate too.

Boy, was I in for  a culture shock when I married an Iranian Jew. Remind me to tell you about my first Seder with my in laws. But for now let's talk about the 7 or 8 different symbolic foods they eat for Rosh Hashana. Bad enough that they spoil your appetite for the yummy Iranian meal to come, but each is also accompanied by a blessing (which I can take) and a verse or 20 (which can get lengthy when it's uncle Solly reading it in his shaky Hebrew).

I used to think it was a special torture they have invented just for me but then I found out other Jews are doing it too. Worse, it's in the Talmud ( http://www.kashrut.com/articles/simanim/  )  i.e. - gotta do it. After that , I concentrated my efforts on convincing my mother-in-law (lovely woman and a motherly cook) to insert some "oomph" into the simanim. No go. Everything had to be baked plain, with the beets leaking into the squash and the beans coloring everything a lovely shade of mud brown. Sigh.

If you want something done right - you gotta do it yourself, everybody knows that. 

If you have to eat squash (we use butternut) - you might as well cube it, toss with olive oil, cumin, salt and maybe some cinnamon and roast at 400F until tender. Or bake cubes in a honey glaze with a little rosemary.Or, since the Talmud was really talking about a gray zucchini type of squash - saute it with some olive oil, garlic and rosemary (or thyme).

Beets (of leakage fame) can be boiled, peeled, sliced and tossed with crushed garlic, olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper and chopped parsley. And, BTW, the Talmud meant beet greens, which are awesome when you wilt them in a little olive oil and garlic and add a touch of lemon juice.

A real easy one are dates. And you should go to Costco and buy their Medjool ones. You have never eaten a date until you have eaten a Medjool (or is it Mejdool?) date. And before you eat them - get the pit out and replace it with a blanched almond, or, if you can afford the calories (I can't) a little marzipan. Oh yum.

Pomegranate is best sprinkled on... well, almost anything really. But best is what I did last year.

Kvell alert!!

In honor of my oldest getting a 5 (highest possible grade) on her AP Art History test (in freshmen year of high school, yet), I cut star fruit (also known as karambola) into 5-pointed-star-shaped slices, sprinkled it with pomegranate seeds (so there will be many more 5s in her future) and drizzled the whole thing with warm honey. Now, this is what I call symbolic food. Worked, too. She got another 5 in AP English Language. Kein Yirbu.

Back to the simanim.

If you gotta have scallions - why not slice them into ribbons half way lengthwise, soak in ice water so they curl over like flowers and serve with a dipping sauce of soy sauce, fresh grated ginger, rice vinegar and sesame oil? And remember, the Talmud was talking about leeks, not scallions. And leeks are really good when you slice them and saute in a little oil (OK, OK, margarine, but it's so unhealthy) over low heat until all soft and falling apart (which, hello, is the point of the whole exercise), and then you add salt and pepper and if you want to get fancy, add sauteed mushrooms and minced herbs (thyme, marjoram, parsley, whatever.)

Or take the muddy beans. First of all, the Talmud doesn't even mention beans. What the Talmud says is to eat Rubia which is Fenugreek. But somewhere down the line the word got switched with one that sounded like it - Lubia, which means beans. Literally. This kind of thing happens all the time and it's really no one's fault and anyway, by now it became Iranian law and you know no one wants to argue with the Iranians. Fine, but why use canned kidney beans? Get the nice french green beans, cook them briefly in water and toss with some olive oil, lemon juice (fresh lemon juice only, please) salt, pepper and lemon zest (must have it; it brings the whole thing together.) Use long strips of zest. You don't eat them but they impart a fresh taste and look mighty pretty, too. If you must have canned beans, rinse and drain them and mix with some yellow bell peppers, parsley, red onion and a nice vinaigrette.

Even the famous apple and honey can be elevated into a higher plain of existence. Bake the apples whole, drizzle with honey and serve with a cinnamon stick inserted in place of the stem.

Fine, you say, all fine, good ideas, but what about that horror of the Rosh Hashana table? the one that gives little kids (and some adults) nightmares? what about the head of a fish? Huh? Huh?

Look, you think you've got trouble? Sephardim eat the head of a cow or a lamb. Thank G-d it's very hard to find these delicacies here in the USA. So my mother in law (Lovely woman. Really.) makes tongue. Not as bad but not much better. Especially if you're a vegetarian. Or just hate tongue. Or even the idea of tongue.

Still, what can you do? it's tradition, right? Even my mom used to stuff the head of the fish she gefilte-ed and serve it to my dad (for some reason that I never questioned, no one else was given that part of the fish. We should all be grateful for small mercies).

But we are here to solve problems and make life a little happier. A few years ago I found the solution. A whole bulb of garlic is called "A head" (at least in Hebrew it does). So I take one "head" per person, rub off as much of the papery outer layers as will come off easily, slice a bit off the top (just enough to expose the tops of some of the larger cloves), drizzle it with a generous amount of olive oil (really, there should be a blessing for olive oil in the Talmud, don't you think?), salt, pepper and fresh rosemary and bake the heads on a cookie sheet at 375F for about an hour - until the cloves go soft and mushy (believe me, this is an accurate description). At the table, everyone just squeezes the cloves out and spreads the garlic on fresh challah or any other bread you're serving at that meal. Breath mints optional, but it's nowhere near as bad as fresh garlic.

This takes care of the simanim that are in the Talmud. What about other simanim? Well, why stop at the traditional ones? Don't you have other wishes for the new year?

Last year I made a Devils' food cake for dessert. I baked it in a long rectangular pan and, with the help of my talented sister in law, drew a violin shape on it (with frosting), complete with Twizzlers for strings. You see,

 Kvell alert!!

my little one (who is taller than me) is a gifted musician who went in 10 months from never having touched a violin to playing it like a virtuoso. She then proceeded to teach herself to play the piano, play almost any tune from hearing and compose. "Accomplished", doesn't begin to describe this. Now, I love this song called "The Devil went down to Georgia" and I kept bugging her to learn it and play it for me (it's a fiddling song.) That cake (with her favorite candy for the strings) was my wish that she will do this. This one almost worked. She learned to play "Swan Lake" on the piano. Fair enough, since I wished for that one, too.


So get creative. It's a new year. You can wish for anything you want. It's a good time for it. G-d is listening very closely right now. Go for it.


Shana Tova to everyone. May this be the year when your heart's greatest desire will be fulfilled in the best possible way.