So this is the way of the world and after generations upon generations of human existence, it might be time to simply accept it and move on. However, when people do not learn from their own mistakes, one feels like slapping them upside the head and screeching "Moron!!!" And when the person making the mistake is old enough to know better, you want to tear your hair out from frustration. Which is sort of how I felt while reading the last parasha of Beresheet.
Ya'akov was smart enough to get a birthright that wasn't his by law. He was smart enough to get out of Lavan's house with everything he wanted to take and he was smart enough to sweet talk Esav into a friendly reunion. He was, however, totally dumb when it came to playing favorites. So, OK, we know that. His kids knew that. His wives knew that. Everyone knew it. Except Ya'akov himself, it seems.
Like, what? He really learned nothing from the "Yosef is favorite, Yosef disappears for years and believed dead" debacle? Did he think that, now that it turned out Yosef wasn't dead after all, he can just go back to playing favorites? What sort of an idiot continues to show his feelings like that after what happened? First he calls Yosef over and declares that Yosef's kids will be like his own kids from now on. This can work if handled properly. Hubby's Grandpa had no sons and when his daughter gave birth to his first male grandchild, he publicly and (semi)-officially adopted him as his own. The other grandchildren were born into that reality and accepted it as fact. Mind you, Hubby was a pain in the backside as a kid and a holy terror to his cousins, not to mention spoiled beyond belief. But Grandpa was an exceptionally wise man and he pampered all his grandchildren equally. Hubby's position only came into play in his personal relationship with his grandfather and in some inheritance issues. And Hubby is apparently the absolute favorite among his cousins. You have to see it to believe it. I know, and you know, that he is a sweetheart of a guy, but you should have seen the reception he got when we came to Israel. You'd have thought he was a movie star, the way they flocked to his side. No one ever thought of selling him to the Yishmaelites until I came along.
Ya'akov, on the other hand, is not satisfied with messing up a new generation of his ancestors, extending the hurt feelings and resentment into the grand-children's generation. Playing one set of grandkids against all their older cousins. Oh, no. When this guy messes up, he messes up big. He tells Yosef, in front of his sons, that the younger will be much more important than the older. Do siblings need to hear that? Oy.
Then, just to seal the resentment for generations to come, observe his death-bed scene: Each of the sons gets a short "blessing". Not one of those is free of some acidic remark. Even Binyamin, who was supposedly a favorite also. But for Yosef. Ahhhh. Ben Porat Yosef. Five verses. All filled with praise, sympathy and real blessings. I want to remind you, this was not a private session. Each of the brothers heard what Pop was saying about all of the others. Poor Yosef must have been looking for a hole to crawl into before his brothers will throw him into one themselves.
Luckily, Yosef is now a big deal and not so easy to get rid of. So his brothers make nice and beg him to not take revenge on them. Were they really scared that Ya'akov dying means he is no longer protecting them from Yosef? Seriously? The same Ya'akov who clearly showed his contempt for, dissatisfaction with and disillusion of them? And what does Yosef think about the whole thing? He is no longer the brat he used to be. He is a father himself and knows that you shouldn't show favoritism (he's the one who tried to get Ya'akov to acknowledge Menashe's first-born status.) What does he do when they come to him hat-in-hand, with such a pathetic story ("Daddy, who loved you and couldn't stand any of us, said you should be nice to us." As if.)? He cries. He does not want to continue the feud. He knows it was wrong to favor one child over the others. He wants his brothers to be his brothers, not his competitors for Dad's love. He will be as good to them as he can, letting the past go, leaving it behind in the cave of Machpelah, with the father who has wronged them all. This is probably Yosef's greatest moment as a human being.
Did I learn from it? Of course not. I've already said that we only learn from our own mistakes, if we learn at all. I try real hard not to show favoritism. It's not so difficult as both my girls are wonderful. But apparently I am not very successful. Just yesterday I was told by one of them that she feels that I have a way better relationship with her sister than I have with her. I try to make allowances for her young age and the fact that her nature is approximately 180 degrees from my own. I wish there was a way to show you how much I love you, sweetie, how amazing and wonderful you are. How talented. And smart. And kind and lovely. How proud I am of your achievements, which are completely different from your sister's achievements. I wish I could be a better mother. I wish you made these cookies so I can give you the credit. But, alas, it was your chocoholic sister who came up with this decadent concoction. I still love you very, very much and I promise to try harder.
These cookies are very dangerous. Luckily, even the most chocoholics among us cannot possibly eat more than one or two at a time since these are way too rich for human consumption. You have been warned!!
Eat at your own risk cookies
- 2 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
- 1/4 teaspoon of salt
- 2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter
- 1 1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 1 large egg plus 1 egg yolk
- 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 tablespoon plain greek yogurt
- 3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
- 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips
- 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
- 1 small jar of Nutella, chilled in refrigerator (about 8 Tbs)
- Coarse sea salt for sprinkling
- Whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl and set aside. Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. The butter will begin to foam. Make sure you whisk consistently during this process. After a couple of minutes, the butter will begin to brown on the bottom of the saucepan; continue to whisk and remove from heat as soon as the butter begins to brown and give off a nutty aroma. Immediately transfer the butter to a bowl to prevent burning. Set aside to cool for a few minutes.
- With an electric mixer, mix the butter and sugars until thoroughly blended. Beat in the egg, yolk, vanilla, and yogurt until combined. Add the dry ingredients slowly and beat on low-speed just until combined. Gently fold in all of the chocolate chips.
- Chill your dough for 2 hours in the refrigerator.This step is important. Do not skip it.
- Preheat the oven to 350F. Once dough is chilled measure about 1 1/2 tablespoons of dough and roll into a ball. Flatten the dough ball very thinly into the palm of your hand. Place 1 teaspoon of chilled nutella in the middle and fold dough around it; gently roll into a ball — it doesn’t have to be perfectly rolled! Make sure that the nutella is not seeping out of the dough. Add more dough if necessary. Place dough balls on cookie sheet, 2 inches apart and flatten with your hand VERY gently. (Really only the tops need to be flattened a bit!)
- Bake the cookies 9-11 minutes or until the edges of the cookies begin to turn golden brown. They will look a bit underdone in the middle, but will continue to cook once out of the oven. Cool the cookies on the sheets at least 2 minutes. Sprinkle with a little sea salt. Remove the cooled cookies from the baking sheets after a few minutes and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Repeat with remaining dough.
Makes 2 dozen
On the other hand: Does anyone have children (any gender, any number, any combination, any ages) who are not convinced that their parents favor their sibling/s over them, and who can, at the drop of a hat, provide endless proof to support this belief?
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