What is it with biblical characters? The younger sibling always gets the upper hand. Yitzcahk was the younger brother. Ya'akov was the younger brother. Yosef was the younger brother. Efrayim was the younger brother. Moshe was the younger brother. Even Rachel was the younger sister. What's going on? Why is the younger one always faring better than the older?
I wouldn't mind so much but I am, as I mentioned before, the oldest. And both my younger siblings have left me in the dust. So I suspect it's written in our genetic code. Which doesn't bode well for my oldest child. Oy.
And, again, I wouldn't mind so much, except we keep getting all that hype about "first-born". As if it's such a grand thing to be. The first child, my sister once said, is like the first pancake; you make all the wrong moves with that one.
Let's examine the evidence:
Avraham certainly treated his first born badly. He threw him out to the desert. Granted, he treated the next one worse. Hmm.
Rivka helped cheat her first born out of his birth-right. Then made her favorite leave. Double hmm.
Lavan forced Leah on Ya'akov and did not even try to make it sound pretty. On the other hand, he wasn't too nice to Rachel, either (we know both girls did not care for him at all.) Hmmm, again.
Ya'akov was famous for preferring Yosef. We know how well that worked for all involved. Oy.
Yosef tried to give his first born his due but Ya'akov (famous for preferring the younger ones, remember?) insisted on making Efrayim supreme. If you check with the Nevi'im, you'll find out how badly this ended. Double oy.
Aharon was the high priest but apparently wasn't quite thrilled with his little brother being more important than he is. Oy vey.
So, what have we learned? Because nothing in the Torah is random. There has to be a reason for this constant preference of the younger sibling. Or maybe the reason is in the result of said preference. It doesn't usually end very well for the people involved. Maybe it's the divine plan and maybe it's all bashert and necessary for the end result. But meanwhile, feelings are hurt, lives altered for the worse, families splitting, people alienated, wars and suffering. Is there any other way? Say, realizing that each of us is important in our own right, not in our order of birth? That G-d has a plan for all of us, not just the chosen few? And that we can stop being so jealous of each other's lot in life and start working on our own destiny?
My siblings and I used to compare achievements, hoping to get brownie points with our parents. It took a while but I think we're past this. It might be because we are so totally different from each other in our goals and ideals, or we're just too tired to fight any more. Either way, I enjoy the peace.
Now, if only the descendants of Yitzchak and Ishmael find a way to live in peace.....
Here's a gentle soup for cold winter nights. Everything looks better with warm soup. Peace negotiations should be held after everyone ate something warm and creamy and are feeling mellow towards mankind.
Cream of cauliflower soup
2 Tbs butter
1/3 Lb leek (white part only, sliced thin)
2 Tbs flour
2 Lbs cauliflower (1 large head), chopped
2 quarts vegetable broth
1 cup cream
salt and pepper to taste
Saute leeks in butter over medium heat until soft but not brown.
Sprinkle flour over leeks and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes.
Add cauliflower and broth. Mix well and bring to a boil.
Lower heat to medium low, cover and simmer for 35-40 minutes until soft.
Puree (using regular or immersion blender).
Add cream and season to taste.
Re-heat gently; do not boil.
Serve warm, garnished with fresh chopped herbs of your choice (I use chives, especially their pretty purple flower heads.)
Serves 8.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
Walk two moons
An old Native American saying tells us that we cannot understand a man until we walked two moons in his moccasins. The Talmud, of course, says the same thing "Do not judge your friend until you are in his place."
So I cannot really judge Ya'akov, since I never walked in his moccasins. But I still wonder why he told Pharaoh that his life was short and bad. About the short part, OK, he lived less than his father and grandpa (although he wasn't dead yet, so how could he know?) but the 'bad' part? Why did he think his life was bad? He had many sons (the real sign of wealth in the ancient world) and many flocks (another sign.) He lived a very full life. Had known love, adventure and a personal relationship with G-d. It is true that the love of his life died too early and he believed his favorite son to be dead for many years and I can see how this will make one miserable. But Rachel died a long time ago and he had just been reunited with his favorite son, who had miraculously returned from the dead with a vengeance. Shouldn't Ya'akov be a little happy?
But some pain is beyond repair. A week ago too many parents in Connecticut had to face the worst pain there is in this world. You don't recover from a pain like this. You may go on breathing, eating, sleeping and talking, but you do not recover. Ever. And, apparently, even if, many years later, you somehow get your child back,the damage stays.
G-d willing, no one will ever have to walk in these parents' moccasins.
Potato Kugel
This is my ultimate comfort food. I know everyone knows how to make this, but that's the point. Comfort food is only comforting because it is known and familiar.
8 medium potatoes, thinly grated
2 onions, thinly grated
6 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
4 Tbs flour
1 heaping Tbs salt
In a colander over a bowl, squeeze potatoes until quite dry.
Transfer to another bowl and mix with onions.
Let liquids from squeezed potatoes stand for 5 minutes. Carefully discard liquid. There will be a layer of starch at the bottom of the bowl.
Add eggs, oil, flour and salt to the potato starch. Mix well.
Add potato and onion mix to egg mix. Mix well.
Pour into a well oiled 9x13 pan.
Bake at 400F for one hour or until ready (test it like you would test a cake).
May G-d, in His infinite mercy and compassion, bring nechama to all those who are hurting.
So I cannot really judge Ya'akov, since I never walked in his moccasins. But I still wonder why he told Pharaoh that his life was short and bad. About the short part, OK, he lived less than his father and grandpa (although he wasn't dead yet, so how could he know?) but the 'bad' part? Why did he think his life was bad? He had many sons (the real sign of wealth in the ancient world) and many flocks (another sign.) He lived a very full life. Had known love, adventure and a personal relationship with G-d. It is true that the love of his life died too early and he believed his favorite son to be dead for many years and I can see how this will make one miserable. But Rachel died a long time ago and he had just been reunited with his favorite son, who had miraculously returned from the dead with a vengeance. Shouldn't Ya'akov be a little happy?
But some pain is beyond repair. A week ago too many parents in Connecticut had to face the worst pain there is in this world. You don't recover from a pain like this. You may go on breathing, eating, sleeping and talking, but you do not recover. Ever. And, apparently, even if, many years later, you somehow get your child back,the damage stays.
G-d willing, no one will ever have to walk in these parents' moccasins.
Potato Kugel
This is my ultimate comfort food. I know everyone knows how to make this, but that's the point. Comfort food is only comforting because it is known and familiar.
8 medium potatoes, thinly grated
2 onions, thinly grated
6 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
4 Tbs flour
1 heaping Tbs salt
In a colander over a bowl, squeeze potatoes until quite dry.
Transfer to another bowl and mix with onions.
Let liquids from squeezed potatoes stand for 5 minutes. Carefully discard liquid. There will be a layer of starch at the bottom of the bowl.
Add eggs, oil, flour and salt to the potato starch. Mix well.
Add potato and onion mix to egg mix. Mix well.
Pour into a well oiled 9x13 pan.
Bake at 400F for one hour or until ready (test it like you would test a cake).
May G-d, in His infinite mercy and compassion, bring nechama to all those who are hurting.
Friday, December 14, 2012
In case of a natural disaster
It's very rare, but it does happen. Sometimes, children actually learn from their parents' example. Take Yosef. Long ago, his father, returning to Kna'an and worried sick about the reception he was likely to get from the older brother he had so thoroughly wronged, had used layer upon layer of preparations for an unavoidable (he thought) disaster. Ya'akov sent scouts to find out what's going on. He sent gifts. In increments. He sent messages. He divided his camp to increase chances of survival. He prayed. He tried everything he could think of.
Luckily for Ya'akov, none of it was at all necessary. It seems Esav was perfectly happy to forgive and forget. Phew.
Now, years later, in a faraway land, in a bizarre twist of fate, Ya'akov's beloved son is facing a danger brought upon him because of his older brothers' anger. How's that for irony? But Yosef, whether because of his genes or his keen observation powers as a child in Ya'akov's camp, knows something about getting ready for a disaster. So he offers the king a plan. Brilliant in its simplicity. One of those "Now, why didn't I think of that?" ideas.
There will be seven years of famine. True. But, since we know about it ahead of time, courtesy of the king's dream, we are not helpless. To help us face this natural disaster we can make preparations. All kinds of preparations.
For example:
If the weather center says there's a dangerous hurricane on the way, don't just poo-poo it. Don't freeze in fright. Go and get ready. Get the deck furniture into the garage, tie down the garbage cans, fill large containers with water, buy extra candles or batteries, store up on non perishables, fill up the car with gas and get some extra, check out the Hybrogen www.facebook.com/Hybrogen so you won't have to rely on loud, gas-guzzling generators.
And pray. Because many people forget that part in their rush to get ready. Remind G-d of His promises and of how you have been doing your part so this is a great time for Him to do His. Ask for what you want and what you need. And when it's all over and you and your family are (at least relatively) safe - remember to thank G-d. It's just good manners.
Feeding my family during hurricane Sandy reminded me of the weeks before Pesach when you eat your way through the freezer. Thanks to genius hubby, our refrigerator kept working, but we couldn't go the stores and we were limited to stove-top cooking only. No complaints. At least we had a house, in which to keep our stove, on which we cooked:
Shwarma flavored chicken thighs
Shwarma is an Israeli dish of slow roasted lamb (or turkey), sliced and served in pita. It's really much, much better than it sounds. Just ask anyone who has ever had it. Shwarma is also what you would call the special seasoning one puts on the meat to make it taste like Shwarma. You can buy the mix in Israeli stores under the name "Seasoning for Shwarma". In case of a hurricane - you can make a mix of your own (which may not turn out exactly the same, but so what) by mixing cumin, turmeric, paprika, coriander, salt and pepper (2 parts cumin to one part from everything else, except the salt and pepper to taste and if you want to get fancy, add a pinch of cinnamon.)
I used skinless, boneless thighs. This will work just as well with other skinless boneless parts (even breast) and extremely well with turkey. My sister in law, Dorita, even makes a whole chicken spiced with this mix and baked in a baking bag with onions and potatoes. Yum. But that's for non emergency times, because I don't know about you, but my oven did not work during Sandy (or rather, it could have but that would have drained the Hybrogen too quickly and I figured we can manage with just the stove.)
Anyway.
4 skinless boneless chicken thighs.
One large onion.
1-2 Tbs Shwarma seasoning.
1-2 Tbs vegetable oil.
Cut the meat into chunks about 1 1/2 inches square (it won't be square, you know, but that's the size you're aiming for).
Sprinkle the seasoning on it and mix really well. You want the seasoning on the meat and not left in the bowl, so use your fingers, if necessary, to work it in.
Slice the onion thinly (or chop, whatever you like).
Heat the oil in a large pan over medium high heat. Add the onion and cook for a few minutes until softened (no need to brown it but you can if you like.)
Add the seasoned meat and cook, stirring frequently, until cooked through (5-7 minutes if you cook it over medium high heat that is more high than medium.)
Serve with the pitas you had to defrost because the freezer did not work. I served it with rice because my freezer was just fine thanks to the Hybrogen (really, check it out and tell everyone you know so they will not be caught unprepared next time.)
As you can see, I was going for really simple meals. Because you don't do gourmet food in an emergency situation. If you remember, we all found out about going back to basics during that week. Well, even Yosef did not suggest they should store up truffles and Cabernet. He said they should store up grains. Sometimes, the best things in life are simple pleasures.
Luckily for Ya'akov, none of it was at all necessary. It seems Esav was perfectly happy to forgive and forget. Phew.
Now, years later, in a faraway land, in a bizarre twist of fate, Ya'akov's beloved son is facing a danger brought upon him because of his older brothers' anger. How's that for irony? But Yosef, whether because of his genes or his keen observation powers as a child in Ya'akov's camp, knows something about getting ready for a disaster. So he offers the king a plan. Brilliant in its simplicity. One of those "Now, why didn't I think of that?" ideas.
There will be seven years of famine. True. But, since we know about it ahead of time, courtesy of the king's dream, we are not helpless. To help us face this natural disaster we can make preparations. All kinds of preparations.
For example:
If the weather center says there's a dangerous hurricane on the way, don't just poo-poo it. Don't freeze in fright. Go and get ready. Get the deck furniture into the garage, tie down the garbage cans, fill large containers with water, buy extra candles or batteries, store up on non perishables, fill up the car with gas and get some extra, check out the Hybrogen www.facebook.com/Hybrogen so you won't have to rely on loud, gas-guzzling generators.
And pray. Because many people forget that part in their rush to get ready. Remind G-d of His promises and of how you have been doing your part so this is a great time for Him to do His. Ask for what you want and what you need. And when it's all over and you and your family are (at least relatively) safe - remember to thank G-d. It's just good manners.
Feeding my family during hurricane Sandy reminded me of the weeks before Pesach when you eat your way through the freezer. Thanks to genius hubby, our refrigerator kept working, but we couldn't go the stores and we were limited to stove-top cooking only. No complaints. At least we had a house, in which to keep our stove, on which we cooked:
Shwarma flavored chicken thighs
Shwarma is an Israeli dish of slow roasted lamb (or turkey), sliced and served in pita. It's really much, much better than it sounds. Just ask anyone who has ever had it. Shwarma is also what you would call the special seasoning one puts on the meat to make it taste like Shwarma. You can buy the mix in Israeli stores under the name "Seasoning for Shwarma". In case of a hurricane - you can make a mix of your own (which may not turn out exactly the same, but so what) by mixing cumin, turmeric, paprika, coriander, salt and pepper (2 parts cumin to one part from everything else, except the salt and pepper to taste and if you want to get fancy, add a pinch of cinnamon.)
I used skinless, boneless thighs. This will work just as well with other skinless boneless parts (even breast) and extremely well with turkey. My sister in law, Dorita, even makes a whole chicken spiced with this mix and baked in a baking bag with onions and potatoes. Yum. But that's for non emergency times, because I don't know about you, but my oven did not work during Sandy (or rather, it could have but that would have drained the Hybrogen too quickly and I figured we can manage with just the stove.)
Anyway.
4 skinless boneless chicken thighs.
One large onion.
1-2 Tbs Shwarma seasoning.
1-2 Tbs vegetable oil.
Cut the meat into chunks about 1 1/2 inches square (it won't be square, you know, but that's the size you're aiming for).
Sprinkle the seasoning on it and mix really well. You want the seasoning on the meat and not left in the bowl, so use your fingers, if necessary, to work it in.
Slice the onion thinly (or chop, whatever you like).
Heat the oil in a large pan over medium high heat. Add the onion and cook for a few minutes until softened (no need to brown it but you can if you like.)
Add the seasoned meat and cook, stirring frequently, until cooked through (5-7 minutes if you cook it over medium high heat that is more high than medium.)
Serve with the pitas you had to defrost because the freezer did not work. I served it with rice because my freezer was just fine thanks to the Hybrogen (really, check it out and tell everyone you know so they will not be caught unprepared next time.)
As you can see, I was going for really simple meals. Because you don't do gourmet food in an emergency situation. If you remember, we all found out about going back to basics during that week. Well, even Yosef did not suggest they should store up truffles and Cabernet. He said they should store up grains. Sometimes, the best things in life are simple pleasures.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
I have a little dreidel
OMG. It's here again. Chanukah. When did that happen? Just a year ago I wrote my first ever blog post about cooking to Maoz Tzur, and here it is frying time again. Not that I don't like Chanukah, but really, I am still working off the extra calories from last year's latkes.
So how about this? I will think up a Chanukah menu that has no frying in it but is still holiday appropriate and everyone will ignore my love handles ("handles"? I got the whole pot wrapped around my midsection. Oy.)
So. Chanukah. What comes to mind that is not latkes?
The dreidel, of course. No calories there. Perfect. OK, four dishes, based on the four letters. Piece o'cake.
(note: this menu is a bit mixed up: you have dessert first (always a good idea, since life is so uncertain), then a carby side dish, then a main course, then the veggies. Please feel free to serve it in any order you like)
Nun Nutella cookies (because nothing is as good as Nutella):
1 cup Nutella spread
1 cup flour
1 egg
Pinch baking powder
In a large bowl, mix together the Nutella and the egg. Add the flour and baking powder and stir until incorporated.
The mixture will be quite thick. Roll teaspoons of dough into balls and place on baking sheets lined with baking paper. Using the base of a glass, press each cookie down firmly.
Bake for 6 – 8 minutes at 350F.
Makes 24 cookies.
Gimmel Garlic bread (beloved by all):
This one is too simple for words. Take a long French bread (or Italian, whatever). Slice the whole thing open. Smear tons of softened butter. Add plenty of crushed garlic. Sprinkle salt, pepper, chopped parsley, grated Parmesan (all or some). Wrap well in foil. Bake at 375F for 15-20 minutes. Oh, you want specifics? Hmm... let's say one baguette, 3-4 Tbs soft butter, 3 gloves of garlic, 1 Tbs parsley, 1 Tbs Parmesan, salt and pepper to taste.
Some people make this with less butter or less garlic or even (G-d forbid) butter spray and/or garlic powder. These people deserve what they eat.
Hey Halibut with fresh breadcrumbs (half the people I know love fish, half hate it; I can't win either way):
10 Tbs butter, divided
8 (6-ounce) halibut fillets
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Juice and zest of 1 lemon
8 cloves garlic, smashed
2 cups fresh breadcrumbs (you can simply throw leftover challah in the food processor and run it until you have crumbs.)
1 cup fresh parsley leave, finely chopped (just run them in the food processor after you're done with the breadcrumbs.)
Coat a large baking dish with 2 Tbs of butter. Add the fish and season with salt, pepper, lemon zest and lemon juice.
Melt the rest of the butter (8 Tbs) in a skillet with the garlic until butter starts to bubble. Immediately turn off the heat and let rest for 2-3 minutes.
Add breadcrumbs and toss gently until the butter is absorbed. Add parsley and season to taste with salt and pepper (remember there is already seasoning on the fish itself, so go easy.)
Spread the breadcrumb mixture on the fish.
Bake at 400F for 12-15 minutes or until the breadcrumbs are golden brown and the fish is cooked through. You may need to adjust cooking time depending on the thickness of the fillets.
Serves 8.
Shin Shredded salad (put one (of each veggie) in):
Salad:
1 raw large beet trimmed, scrubbed & quartered
1 very small (about the size of a small grapefruit) red cabbage, quartered
1 large carrot, scrubbed & trimmed
1 very small (about the size of a small grapefruit) white cabbage, quartered
1 apple, quartered
1 cup walnuts, roughly bashed
1 handful Italian parsley chopped
1 handful mint, chopped
Dressing:
1 tablespoon Greek yogurt
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
sea salt & ground pepper
Coarsely grate all salad ingredients (use a food processor for ease and speed) in the order they appear above. This will (hopefully) stop the beets from staining everything. If your food processor is small, do this in batches.
Turn vegetables out onto a platter so you get a pile of rainbow colors.
Mix the yogurt, mustard, vinegar, and oil, then season with salt and pepper.
Add walnuts and herbs and toss everything together.
Sevres 8.
See? No frying, a meal that is dairy in honor of Yehudit, a menu that relates to one of the holiday's symbols and, between the fish and the salad, you can ignore the enormous amounts of butter and pretend it's healthy.
So how about this? I will think up a Chanukah menu that has no frying in it but is still holiday appropriate and everyone will ignore my love handles ("handles"? I got the whole pot wrapped around my midsection. Oy.)
So. Chanukah. What comes to mind that is not latkes?
The dreidel, of course. No calories there. Perfect. OK, four dishes, based on the four letters. Piece o'cake.
(note: this menu is a bit mixed up: you have dessert first (always a good idea, since life is so uncertain), then a carby side dish, then a main course, then the veggies. Please feel free to serve it in any order you like)
Nun Nutella cookies (because nothing is as good as Nutella):
1 cup Nutella spread
1 cup flour
1 egg
Pinch baking powder
In a large bowl, mix together the Nutella and the egg. Add the flour and baking powder and stir until incorporated.
The mixture will be quite thick. Roll teaspoons of dough into balls and place on baking sheets lined with baking paper. Using the base of a glass, press each cookie down firmly.
Bake for 6 – 8 minutes at 350F.
Makes 24 cookies.
Gimmel Garlic bread (beloved by all):
This one is too simple for words. Take a long French bread (or Italian, whatever). Slice the whole thing open. Smear tons of softened butter. Add plenty of crushed garlic. Sprinkle salt, pepper, chopped parsley, grated Parmesan (all or some). Wrap well in foil. Bake at 375F for 15-20 minutes. Oh, you want specifics? Hmm... let's say one baguette, 3-4 Tbs soft butter, 3 gloves of garlic, 1 Tbs parsley, 1 Tbs Parmesan, salt and pepper to taste.
Some people make this with less butter or less garlic or even (G-d forbid) butter spray and/or garlic powder. These people deserve what they eat.
Hey Halibut with fresh breadcrumbs (half the people I know love fish, half hate it; I can't win either way):
10 Tbs butter, divided
8 (6-ounce) halibut fillets
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Juice and zest of 1 lemon
8 cloves garlic, smashed
2 cups fresh breadcrumbs (you can simply throw leftover challah in the food processor and run it until you have crumbs.)
1 cup fresh parsley leave, finely chopped (just run them in the food processor after you're done with the breadcrumbs.)
Coat a large baking dish with 2 Tbs of butter. Add the fish and season with salt, pepper, lemon zest and lemon juice.
Melt the rest of the butter (8 Tbs) in a skillet with the garlic until butter starts to bubble. Immediately turn off the heat and let rest for 2-3 minutes.
Add breadcrumbs and toss gently until the butter is absorbed. Add parsley and season to taste with salt and pepper (remember there is already seasoning on the fish itself, so go easy.)
Spread the breadcrumb mixture on the fish.
Bake at 400F for 12-15 minutes or until the breadcrumbs are golden brown and the fish is cooked through. You may need to adjust cooking time depending on the thickness of the fillets.
Serves 8.
Shin Shredded salad (put one (of each veggie) in):
Salad:
1 raw large beet trimmed, scrubbed & quartered
1 very small (about the size of a small grapefruit) red cabbage, quartered
1 large carrot, scrubbed & trimmed
1 very small (about the size of a small grapefruit) white cabbage, quartered
1 apple, quartered
1 cup walnuts, roughly bashed
1 handful Italian parsley chopped
1 handful mint, chopped
Dressing:
1 tablespoon Greek yogurt
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
sea salt & ground pepper
Coarsely grate all salad ingredients (use a food processor for ease and speed) in the order they appear above. This will (hopefully) stop the beets from staining everything. If your food processor is small, do this in batches.
Turn vegetables out onto a platter so you get a pile of rainbow colors.
Mix the yogurt, mustard, vinegar, and oil, then season with salt and pepper.
Add walnuts and herbs and toss everything together.
Sevres 8.
See? No frying, a meal that is dairy in honor of Yehudit, a menu that relates to one of the holiday's symbols and, between the fish and the salad, you can ignore the enormous amounts of butter and pretend it's healthy.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Of course he's heavy; He's my brother
I happen to know something about spoiled rotten younger brothers. Both hubby and I are the oldest in our families.
My brother was The Son. He was so spoiled that I had to get married just so I could get out of making his bed for him (boy was 16 at the time.) Not his fault, of course. I blame my parents (always and for everything; it's what parents are for, after all.)
Hubby's brother, Andy, was so spoiled that my MIL learned to cook and clean with one hand, the other being constantly occupied by a screaming babe.
But being spoiled is one thing. You can't help how your parents treat you or your siblings. After all, you got your brains from them so you shouldn't be surprised by their actions. The trouble starts when the spoiled brat grows up and continues to think the sun rises and sets for his sake.
Andy is at least polite enough to pretend he has some respect for his big brother. My brother doesn't even bother to hide his feelings of superiority. And the worst part? He's usually (OK, OK, always, darn it) right.
So it is with great sympathy that I read this week's parasha. Yosef really is a huge pain in the neck. And it doesn't help that it turns out later (spoiler alert) that he was totally right and everything he dreamed about came true. That's just adding insult to injury.
He was a spoiled brat. He was a show-off. And he was a pain in the tuchis. But he was right. Unfortunately for him, in order to be proven right, he had to be sold into slavery, exiled to Egypt and suffer, suffer, suffer. Which just goes to show that I should have read the bible more often as a teenager. Could have used some ideas of how to deal with the pest back then (too late now, he's taller than me and has a wife to protect him.)
Bubba doesn't like most foodstuffs. He won't eat fish (or even be in a house where fish was cooked during the previous week), mushrooms, eggplants, zucchini or any soup. This is a partial list as it keeps changing with the weather. One of the foods that he doesn't eat is celery, which makes cooking a bit difficult as celery is used as a base for many meat dishes, along with onions and carrots. And the beast will not eat a dish which was acquainted with celery even if it was chopped real small and cooked down to nothing.
So, as an act of (pathetic) revenge on all annoying little brothers, here is a dish where celery (a very healthy vegetable) is a star. This is a variation on an Iranian dish. I omitted the meat because it's really not that necessary (feel free to add pieces of chicken or cubes of stew meat to this if you wish). See note at the end regarding the vegetable mix.
Celery stew
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 cups chopped onion (I used 1 large onion and 1 medium onion)
1/2 pickled lemon, thinly sliced (or 2-3 Persian dried limes)
2 celery hearts, sliced into 1 inch long chunks (about 7 cups)
2 1/2 oz package of AASAN Dehydrated Vegetables for Sabzi Polo (see note)
1 tsp salt
6 cups water
1/2 tsp black pepper
1. Soak dried vegetables in warm water to cover for one hour. Carefully strain through cheesecloth or coffee filters. Squeeze gently.
2.Saute onions in oil over medium high heat until soft.
3. Add pickled lemon and cook one minute (if using dried limes, add them at step 4)
4. Add celery and drained vegetables, salt, pepper, and water. Bring to a boil.
5. Cook over low heat, partially covered for half an hour or until the celery is soft but not falling apart. Add salt if necessary, to taste.
This is best served over basmati rice (see my post "Pierced ears" of 2/17/12) and will serve 10-12 people.
Note: AASAN Dehydrated vegetables are Iranian vegetables that are ready to cook. They can be found in Middle Eastern stores (not necessarily Iranian, try Indian, Syrian, Lebanese, etc.) They have a hechsher which I will try to describe (the letters RCC inside the letter K) and which was approved by my frummie sister in law. Use your judgement. Even though this dish is not Sabzi Polo, this is the mix I used (they have many other mixes) and it worked beautifully. I think other mixes may work too - you may have to explain what you are planning to cook and rely on help from the shopkeeper.
Dried Persian limes can be found in similar stores. I don't know about hechsher. I use home made pickled ones (see: "Harvest time" 10/5/12). In a pinch, just add lemon juice to taste (start with 1/4 cup) at the end of cooking. Won't taste the same, though.
And if all else fails, I understand the Yishmaelites are still in the market for slaves. Arrogant, pesky young brothers - beware.
My brother was The Son. He was so spoiled that I had to get married just so I could get out of making his bed for him (boy was 16 at the time.) Not his fault, of course. I blame my parents (always and for everything; it's what parents are for, after all.)
Hubby's brother, Andy, was so spoiled that my MIL learned to cook and clean with one hand, the other being constantly occupied by a screaming babe.
But being spoiled is one thing. You can't help how your parents treat you or your siblings. After all, you got your brains from them so you shouldn't be surprised by their actions. The trouble starts when the spoiled brat grows up and continues to think the sun rises and sets for his sake.
Andy is at least polite enough to pretend he has some respect for his big brother. My brother doesn't even bother to hide his feelings of superiority. And the worst part? He's usually (OK, OK, always, darn it) right.
So it is with great sympathy that I read this week's parasha. Yosef really is a huge pain in the neck. And it doesn't help that it turns out later (spoiler alert) that he was totally right and everything he dreamed about came true. That's just adding insult to injury.
He was a spoiled brat. He was a show-off. And he was a pain in the tuchis. But he was right. Unfortunately for him, in order to be proven right, he had to be sold into slavery, exiled to Egypt and suffer, suffer, suffer. Which just goes to show that I should have read the bible more often as a teenager. Could have used some ideas of how to deal with the pest back then (too late now, he's taller than me and has a wife to protect him.)
Bubba doesn't like most foodstuffs. He won't eat fish (or even be in a house where fish was cooked during the previous week), mushrooms, eggplants, zucchini or any soup. This is a partial list as it keeps changing with the weather. One of the foods that he doesn't eat is celery, which makes cooking a bit difficult as celery is used as a base for many meat dishes, along with onions and carrots. And the beast will not eat a dish which was acquainted with celery even if it was chopped real small and cooked down to nothing.
So, as an act of (pathetic) revenge on all annoying little brothers, here is a dish where celery (a very healthy vegetable) is a star. This is a variation on an Iranian dish. I omitted the meat because it's really not that necessary (feel free to add pieces of chicken or cubes of stew meat to this if you wish). See note at the end regarding the vegetable mix.
Celery stew
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 cups chopped onion (I used 1 large onion and 1 medium onion)
1/2 pickled lemon, thinly sliced (or 2-3 Persian dried limes)
2 celery hearts, sliced into 1 inch long chunks (about 7 cups)
2 1/2 oz package of AASAN Dehydrated Vegetables for Sabzi Polo (see note)
1 tsp salt
6 cups water
1/2 tsp black pepper
1. Soak dried vegetables in warm water to cover for one hour. Carefully strain through cheesecloth or coffee filters. Squeeze gently.
2.Saute onions in oil over medium high heat until soft.
3. Add pickled lemon and cook one minute (if using dried limes, add them at step 4)
4. Add celery and drained vegetables, salt, pepper, and water. Bring to a boil.
5. Cook over low heat, partially covered for half an hour or until the celery is soft but not falling apart. Add salt if necessary, to taste.
This is best served over basmati rice (see my post "Pierced ears" of 2/17/12) and will serve 10-12 people.
Note: AASAN Dehydrated vegetables are Iranian vegetables that are ready to cook. They can be found in Middle Eastern stores (not necessarily Iranian, try Indian, Syrian, Lebanese, etc.) They have a hechsher which I will try to describe (the letters RCC inside the letter K) and which was approved by my frummie sister in law. Use your judgement. Even though this dish is not Sabzi Polo, this is the mix I used (they have many other mixes) and it worked beautifully. I think other mixes may work too - you may have to explain what you are planning to cook and rely on help from the shopkeeper.
Dried Persian limes can be found in similar stores. I don't know about hechsher. I use home made pickled ones (see: "Harvest time" 10/5/12). In a pinch, just add lemon juice to taste (start with 1/4 cup) at the end of cooking. Won't taste the same, though.
And if all else fails, I understand the Yishmaelites are still in the market for slaves. Arrogant, pesky young brothers - beware.
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