Sibling rivalry

What is it with biblical characters? The younger sibling always gets the upper hand. Yitzcahk was the younger brother. Ya'akov was the younger brother. Yosef was the younger brother. Efrayim was the younger brother. Moshe was the younger brother. Even Rachel was the younger sister. What's going on? Why is the younger one always faring better than the older?

I wouldn't mind so much but I am, as I mentioned before, the oldest. And both my younger siblings have left me in the dust. So I suspect it's written in our genetic code. Which doesn't bode well for my oldest child. Oy.

And, again, I wouldn't mind so much, except we keep getting all that hype about "first-born". As if it's such a grand thing to be. The first child, my sister once said, is like the first pancake; you make all the wrong moves with that one.

Let's examine the evidence:

Avraham certainly treated his first born badly. He threw him out to the desert. Granted, he treated the next one worse. Hmm.

Rivka helped cheat her first born out of his birth-right. Then made her favorite leave. Double hmm.

Lavan forced Leah on Ya'akov and did not even try to make it sound pretty. On the other hand, he wasn't too nice to Rachel, either (we know both girls did not care for him at all.) Hmmm, again.

Ya'akov was famous for preferring Yosef. We know how well that worked for all involved. Oy.

Yosef tried to give his first born his due but Ya'akov (famous for preferring the younger ones, remember?) insisted on making Efrayim supreme. If you check with the Nevi'im, you'll find out how badly this ended. Double oy.

Aharon was the high priest but apparently wasn't quite thrilled with his little brother being more important than he is. Oy vey.


So, what have we learned? Because nothing in the Torah is random. There has to be a reason for this constant preference of the younger sibling. Or maybe the reason is in the result of said preference. It doesn't usually end very well for the people involved. Maybe it's the divine plan and maybe it's all bashert and necessary for the end result. But meanwhile, feelings are hurt, lives altered for the worse, families splitting, people alienated, wars and suffering. Is there any other way? Say, realizing that each of us is important in our own right, not in our order of birth? That G-d has a plan for all of us, not just the chosen few? And that we can stop being so jealous of each other's lot in life and start working on our own destiny?

My siblings and I used to compare achievements, hoping to get brownie points with our parents. It took a while but I think we're past this. It might be because we are so totally different from each other in our goals and ideals, or we're just too tired to fight any more. Either way, I enjoy the peace.

Now, if only the descendants of Yitzchak and Ishmael find a way to live in peace.....

Here's a gentle soup for cold winter nights. Everything looks better with warm soup. Peace negotiations should be held after everyone ate something warm and creamy and are feeling mellow towards mankind.


Cream of cauliflower soup

2 Tbs butter
1/3 Lb leek (white part only, sliced thin)
2 Tbs flour
2 Lbs cauliflower (1 large head), chopped
2 quarts vegetable broth
1 cup cream
salt and pepper to taste


Saute leeks in butter over medium heat until soft but not brown.
Sprinkle flour over leeks and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes.
Add cauliflower and broth. Mix well and bring to a boil.
Lower heat to medium low, cover and simmer for 35-40 minutes until soft.
Puree (using regular or immersion blender).
Add cream and season to taste.
Re-heat gently; do not boil.
Serve warm, garnished with fresh chopped herbs of your choice (I use chives, especially their pretty purple flower heads.)

Serves 8.