Chicken!

My friend Debbie took offense at my comments about the spies last time we were dealing with parashat shelach. Since I have just received praise from one of the parents of my students that included a comment on my service in the IDF, I remembered that I am supposed to be a brave soldier. On that note I will risk my friend's ire (luckily she is busy nowadays with her daughter's wedding, Baruch Hashem, so maybe she won't notice my little rebellion....) and continue to bash the spies. To wit: "Chickens!".

OK. Giants. Got it. You're former slaves, you have never had to fight anyone in your life. If anyone attacked you, you cowered down and hoped he was in a mild mood today so you may have a chance to survive the beating. But how much time has passed since Sinai? You've already forgotten that amazing show of G-d's mightiness? Never mind the plagues and the splitting of the sea. How can you doubt that a G-d who can do all these can also make sure that you will beat the giants even though you have no experience and certainly no courage? You have faith. We know that, since you followed Moshe out of Egypt on nothing more than his say-so (and the plagues helped, too.) You showed good faith at Sinai (well, for a while, anyway.) Where is that faith now?

That's the problem with faith. Is it strong enough to stand up to fear? When it comes to bravery, it doesn't matter what your faith is in, you understand. Whether in your own powers, in the weapons you have, the backup you called for or the help from above. If you don't believe in it enough, you won't have the courage necessary to face the danger.

Bravery is not about not being afraid. It is about going on despite being terrified. Well, what makes one do that? Faith. Naturally, having faith in G-d is the best since nothing can trump His help. I mean, look at the evidence: David beat Goliath, the Maccabees beat the Greeks, the Israelis beat the Egyptians, Jordanians and Syrians combined (in 6 days, yet.) So yes, all these events took place after the wanderings in the desert, so I can't expect the spies to know about them. Still, how cowardly of the spies to have so little faith in the promises (not to mention the abilities) of the G-d who beat the Egyptians for them, split the sea before them and put on that awesome show at Sinai. What chickens.

Speaking of chickens, the time has come to release one of my best dishes. I am very proud of this one. This is something I have figured out how to make from a picture. No recipe.  And it came out great. See? You gotta have faith.


Chicken in balsamic vinegar


2 chicken breast cutlets (skinless, boneless) cut into 2x2 inch cubes.
Coarse salt, fresh ground black pepper and thyme (to taste, a few pinches of each)
2 Tbs oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup grape tomatoes quartered (you can use other tomatoes, just cut them the same way)
2-3 Tbs vegetable broth (or chicken broth or even just water), as needed
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar (use the best quality you can buy)


Sprinkle salt, pepper and thyme on the chicken cubes.
Heat oil over medium high heat and brown chicken cubes on all sides.
Add garlic and cook, stirring, for one minute.
Add tomatoes and cook, stirring, another minute.
If the mixture looks too dry, add 2 or 3 tbs of broth or water and mix well for another minute.
Add balsamic vinegar and mix well.
Cook, uncovered, for 3-5 minutes, stirring well occasionally, until the mixture thickens a little.



Makes 2 servings.





I don't know what chickens have faith in, but find your own so you won't end up being one.

Keep it short

Have you noticed how some prayers tend to go on and on, including everything and anything in the list of requests or praises? Not that I oppose to praising G-d. But I suspect He sometimes gets a little tired. You know how, when you talk on the phone with someone who goes on and on, who insists on going into every minute detail of the story they are telling, you sometimes roll your eyes and wish with all your heart that she (it is usually a 'she') will run out of words? When anyone from my husband's family calls to wish me a Happy Birthday, or even to talk about the weather, the call usually takes forever. My contribution is usually about 30 seconds long, mainly consisting of "thanks, oh same to you, yes, thank you, nice of you to say" and such. The other person starts blessing me (which is very nice) And. Does. Not. Stop. They cover all events, real or imaginary, past, present and future and include three or four wishes for each.  You might think I am an ingrate (which is also true but besides the point) but try to listen to 5 or 10 minutes of consistent good wishes (when you feel obligated to respond to each and you quickly run out of variations on 'thank you') and you'll see what I mean.

So it seems to me G-d just might be getting a little tired of the long winded prayers. But, you say, what about everything we want to say? We must praise Him in all His glory. And, when asking for things, as long as we have His attention, shouldn't we also mention everything that needs fixing? And, anyway, these prayers have been around for millenniums, what do you want us to use?

Let's see what Moshe, the greatest leader we ever had, the great teacher, the most modest person, the one who was on a 'one-on-one' relationship with G-d, had to say when he wanted something:

Realizing that G-d is very busy (running the world and all) and a bit short tempered (emphasis on 'short') right now, Moshe used what is probably the shortest prayer in history. 6 words. Why so short? I have encountered occasions in my life when I was in great distress. And I have noticed that my prayers on these occasions tended to be super short. Why? Maybe I was afraid to lose G-d's attention if I start to go on and on about everything else that I might ask for. Maybe when we are in pain (physical or emotional) we acquire 'tunnel vision' and get to the point much faster.

So by all means, on an every day basis, go on and on about Beit Hamikdash and parnassa and Grandma's arthritis. But when calling on an urgent matter, keep it short and to the point. G-d, as I said, is very busy. Help Him to help you.

BTW, what did Moshe ask for?  For G-d to heal Miriam. My friend Mara is in need of healing. I have been praying for her every day. I keep it short because it does not require many words to express this sentiment. She seems to be doing well, thank G-d, but meanwhile, she was told to eat a lot of fish. W-e-l-l. For this I won't even bother G-d. I can do that one myself (using my G-d given talents, of course.)

This recipe is a variation on a dish my friend Liora brought over one Shavu'ot. It was an immediate hit. It is actually very popular in Israel and has about 5 million versions, all yummy.


(Oh, and it has a weird name)

Kh'raimeh (Fish in spicy sauce)


2 heaping Tbs tomato paste
1/2 cup boiling water
1 tsp each: hot paprika, cumin, coriander, granulated garlic.
1/2 tsp salt
1 medium onion, chopped
4 Tbs vegetable oil
1 whole hot pepper of your choice, fresh
3-4 garlic cloves
6-8 fillets of firm white fleshed fish (tilapia, cod, hake, haddock, orange roughy, etc.)
1/2 cup water


Mix together the ingredients from the first four lines above.
In a wide, deep pan saute the onion in the oil until golden. Add hot pepper, garlic and the spice mixture. Bring to a boil over medium heat.
Add fish (making sure it is in one layer; hence the wide deep pan) and second 1/2 cup of water. Return to a boil.
Cover partially and cook over low heat for about 20 minutes until fish is ready (flakes when cut with fork.)

Note: the number of fish fillets is actually quite flexible. Whatever fits into the pan, as long as it is in one layer and covered by the sauce.




Pray. All the time. And don't think it must always be the whole, long, sometimes boring, traditional prayers. G-d is just as happy with short prayers. Just make sure that, no matter the length, it comes from a true heart. 

Refuah Sh'lema to Mara and all who need healing.

Yielding to temptation

Did you ever have this dilemma? If you don't let your kids eat some junk food, they will develop an uncontrollable desire for it and fall upon it as locusts when they see it at parties. On the other hand, if you do let them eat junk, that means it's available in your house and, in the dead of night, when no one can see you (which means these calories don't count) you fall upon it as a locust yourself. My list of foods I cannot keep in the house includes (but is not limited to): potato chips (any chips, really), pizza, any kind of nuts and any type of cheese. Strangely enough, I am never tempted by chocolate or candy.

Christians have Lent, when they vow to forgo things they like. Maybe if I take a vow, invoking G-d's name and all, I could look at the chips/pizza/nuts/cheese and muster enough willpower to leave them alone? Right.

There are quite a few sages who said that we should not forgo the good things in life that are permitted by Torah law. The Talmudic sage Rav said that in the world to come we will have to account for all the good food we refused to eat. I love it. It's like a Talmudic permission to eat chips. Huh!

Meanwhile, in this week's parasha we meet a person (and the Torah specifically says "man or woman") who chooses to forgo certain foods (namely: anything that came from the grapevine.) While some of the sages (like Ramban) thought it a worthwhile pursuit (since that person is trying to attain a higher level of holiness, which can benefit the whole community), others are not so impressed. Ibn Ezra (a Jewish scholar in Spain during the Middle Ages) said it was a wonder that anyone would choose to do this. Shimon the Just (a high priest in the days of the 2nd temple) refused to eat the offering brought by such a person (to which he was entitled) because he was worried about the horrid sin that had led that person to take on that vow in the first place. So, all in all, I believe Judaism is not very fond of forgoing good food and drink. Phew, that's a relief.

Of course, like with every other pleasure, Judaism promotes moderation (Rambam was very big on moderation). But what's the point of eating yummy foods if you have to limit yourself to tiny amounts? 

The above explains my waistline. 

So here is a dessert that symbolizes (at least for me) the ultimate indulgence - 

Tiramisu


1 1/2 Lbs Mascarpone cheese (Please don't substitute. You can get this with a hechsher and the whole point is to use rich, pleasurable stuff, no?)
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup heavy cream
1/3 cup cold strong coffee (made with 2 tsp Nescafe and 1/3 cup water. stir well)
1 Tbs Rum (use real stuff or extract)
1/2 Lb Lady's fingers cookies, each cut into 2 or 3 pieces


Cream together cheese and powdered sugar until completely combined.
Gradually pour in heavy cream, whipping at medium speed, until you have a light, airy cream.
Change mixer's speed to low and add 1/2 of the cold coffee. Mix only until incorporated.
Mix the rum into the rest of the coffee.
Dip each cookie piece in the coffee and rum mixture until damp but not soggy.
In pretty serving bowls (or wine goblets) arrange layers of cookies and cream, alternating, until you run out of either or both. You can put the cream in a pastry bag and create pretty designs. I am not that patient.
Chill, covered. Will keep up to 2 days in fridge (by which time it mysteriously disappears or acquires every single smell in the fridge.)

This makes 4 or 5 servings (depending on the goblets size, naturally)


There is a story I love about a very old and respected Rabbi who, when asked what he plans to do for his 80th birthday, answered that he plans a trip to the Swiss Alps. His students were dismayed. At his age? to the Alps? Whatever for? Said the Rabbi "It is because I am at the end of my life that I must see the Alps. Soon enough I will come before the seat of glory and the Master of the Universe will ask me 'You didn't go to see my Alps?' What am I going to say to that?"
Life is full of suffering and misery. But G-d has created so many pleasures and joys for us to enjoy. Never miss and opportunity to have fun and enjoy the good stuff. Believe me, you're not going to miss out on the misery. It will catch up with you the minute you're done with the fun.
And remember you will have to account for every yummy food you have not eaten in your life, so eat, Bubbeleh, eat.

Lactose Free

Only after I came back from the green grocer with my gorgeous leeks, did hubby see fit to inform me (in a huffy tone) that he has leeks aplenty in his garden. How was I supposed to know?

Meanwhile, Shavu'ot is approaching in giant strides. The holiday of Bikkurim. The word means "first fruits" and shares a root with Bechor, which means "first born". It's that time of year when we give special thanks for our firsts. First born, first grown, first anything. What's so special about the firsts? In Middle Eastern marketplaces a folk belief states that the first sale of the day ('siftach') will open the way to many more. So strong is this belief that merchants used to quote very attractive prices on the first sale of the day, so the customer will be tempted to buy and thus open the way to more sales, Inshallah. It's like, you work real hard to make something, but once you figured it out, you can easily repeat the achievement. But it's that first one that takes hard work, effort and sometimes luck ("Luck" being a term people use when they do not want to acknowledge G-d's part in their achievements.)

So it's only fitting that for Shavu'ot, the holiday of firstborns and first grown, I (a firstborn) will use the leeks (first grown) grown by hubby (a firstborn.)

Now, as we all know, Shavu'ot is all about dairy. Or is it? One of the reasons given for eating dairy food on Shavu'ot is that the Israelites were told they will be given rules about which animals they can eat. But for now, they had no clue which were kosher and which were treif. So, to be on the safe side, they ate no meat for the three days of preparation for Matan Torah. You see, the Torah never mentions dairy at all in relation to either ma'amad Har Sinai or the Bikkurim pilgrimage. It's just that people assume that if there's no meat, it means we are to eat dairy. 

I have nothing against dairy (other than being lactose-intolerant) but I noticed that every recipe for Shavu'ot is based on some sort of cheese (or cream) and it gets a little heavy. Therefore, here is a leek and zucchini frittata that I made last week and is perfectly wonderful for Shavu'ot, yet gives a little break from the cheese. Also, it is more friendly to any lactose-intolerant guests who are afraid to visit anywhere on Shavu'ot since they may have nothing safe to eat.



Leek and zucchini frittata

4 Tbs oil (olive is good but whatever you have is fine)
3 large leeks (white part only), rinsed well, sliced as thinly as you can (don't work too hard, just slice it thinly)
4 small gray zucchini (If you can't find gray ones use yellow squash or zucchini), peeled (if you don't peel them I cannot be responsible for the texture and flavor of the end result),  halved length-wise and thinly sliced cross-wise
6 eggs, beaten (very important; I sometimes don't beat eggs when told to, but here it is essential)
2-3 Tbs of chopped tomatoes (I had some leftovers from a can of diced tomatoes and I just scooped them out of their juice)
Salt and pepper
Optional - herbs of your choice.


In a very large pan, saute leek slices over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until very soft and just starting to brown (actually, until they want to turn brown. You sort of have to guess here, but if you miss it, that's fine, just don't let them actually turn brown). This takes some time (maybe 10-15 minutes) so be patient and don't just leave them to fend for themselves.

Add zucchini and continue to cook until the zucchini is totally soft (another 10-15 minutes and stir occasionally).

Spice it to your liking (salt, pepper, other spices you like and/or herbs). We kept it simple (salt and pepper and a little oregano) and the flavor of the veggies just shone through, but feel free to go wild, if you wish.  

Pour the beaten eggs over everything (and make sure it really does cover everything.) Sprinkle the tomato chunks on top.

At this point, I covered the pan and cooked it over low heat until the eggs set (I don't know how long, a few minutes). But I regretted that I used a pan that was not oven proof, as this would have been much nicer if baked at 350F for 10 minutes or so (until the eggs set). You can go either way.

This served just me and hubby because we are little piglets but realistically it will serve 4. 



Now, you can add cheese if you wish, but what for?

All accounted for

When my daughter went to Europe two summers ago with a group of teenagers, their leaders kept counting them. It became very annoying. Every time they moved, they had to "Do the count". It doesn't take too long. Every kid was assigned a number and had to announce it in the proper order. The kids grumbled and whined (teenagers, you know) but the leaders were very strict about it. Because, as you can imagine, the leaders knew that if anything happened to any one of those kids, we, the parents, will kill them in very painful ways.

When you are in charge of a large group of people, when you are responsible for their safety and well being, one of the things you want to be very diligent about is making sure that you haven't lost any of them along the way.

The Israelites were wandering in a desert. Not the safest place in the world. So, of course, G-d, who was responsible for their safety and well being, was concerned about every aspect of their daily life. And the most basic thing is the answer to the question: "Is everyone present and accounted for?" So G-d made them "Do the count". Because what if someone got lost, or was left behind at the last oasis, or just slipped and fell and is now 3 miles back and can't find the way?


Incidentally, the "Count" was proved to be essential. In a rest stop somewhere in Italy, my daughter came out of the restroom to find that the bus left without her. Luckily, they were doing the count as they drove away and realized she was missing before the bus was too far down the highway. Aren't we glad now that G-d counted the Israelites? According to Ramban, every Jew is important to G-d. So He doesn't want any of us to get lost. I sure hope that this is still true. Sometimes we get lost, don't we? Isn't it nice to think that G-d is always counting us and will come looking for us if we are lost? 

My cooking style is not very rigid. I sort of wing it most of the time. But here is a recipe where the most difficult part is to follow the instructions precisely, especially the counting (of minutes, and amounts.)




Majadra

3 cups lentils (use the regular ones you buy at the supermarket)
12 cups water
3 cups rice (I use Basmati but any long grain will do. You can use brown but the texture is different)
1 cup oil plus more for frying
3 tsp coarse (kosher) salt
4-5 large onions, chopped


Start the night before: Soak the lentils in the water and leave for 8-12 hours.
Drain the lentils, reserving 5 and 1/2 cups of the soaking water.
In a very large pot put: lentils, rice, oil, salt and the water you reserved.
Bring to a boil over high heat.
Turn heat to the lowest you can, cover the pot well and cook for exactly 20 minutes. Do not open the lid.
Turn the heat off and leave the pot alone for exactly 20 minutes. Do not open the lid!!!
Meanwhile, fry the chopped onions in a good amount of oil (like you would for frying latkes) until they start to brown.
Using a slotted spoon, scoop the onions out of the oil (do not drain them too well) and transfer to the large pot. 
Mix really well. It's not easy to mix so be patient. I usually put the pot on the kitchen floor and kneel next to it to stir. It gives me better leverage and saves some aches and pains in my arms and shoulders.

Serves a LOT. Seriously. This recipe makes enough for at least 20 servings. But don't worry. It keeps very well in the fridge for at least a week. It freezes beautifully and thaws easily. It is great warm, hot or cold. It is vegan (and so parve). It is wonderful as a topping for salad, a side dish or a main course (try topping it with plain yogurt.) 



And if you get lost - trust that G-d will come looking for you once He does "The Count". 

Fifty shades of doing nothing

50 is a heavy weight number. When one turns fifty, one is no longer a youngster. That is not to say that life is over (despite what young(er) people think) but it is a sort of middle point. A good place to pause and take stock.

In ancient times, people did not live as long as we do now. By the age of fifty, one was already an elder, revered for his or her wisdom and  getting lots of respect and consideration. Alas, today it is not so. Life expectancy being what it is, fifty is expected to be the beginning of the next great adventure.

Well, I, as we all know, am a rebel at heart and I refuse to fulfill expectations. I am a great believer in the old ways (which sort of clashes with the 'rebel' thing but that's the beauty of being annoying). So I have decided, upon turning fifty, that I am going to slow down, pause, take stock and so on. My body shouted with joy: "Finally, we get to sit on our backside and do nothing. Just as we always tried to get her to do. Yay." My mind was confused: "Are we now to stop thinking? Or increase activity? Are we supposed to be wise or doddering?" My soul was very happy: "At last. Some peace and quiet. Time to smell the roses and all that."

The world, as I should have known, was not happy. At all. Apparently people, especially women really are expected to invent a whole new "Me" at this age. One is supposed to start a rigorous regimen of exercise, get all toned up and in shape. Also, one is to find a new and exciting job (or at least a hobby) that will challenge us in ways we have never been challenged before. One is supposed to rediscover romance, to finally read all the great books that will make us smart and sophisticated, and to be calm and sure of oneself. That is not my idea of a relaxing old age. I am more the type to sit at the tent opening and watch the youngsters bring the herd in as the evening falls gently and the (other) women are putting the finishing touches on the evening meal. Like I always said, I was born into the wrong century.

So I have to read great books (notice which of the expectations I picked to remember). Fine. I read the bible. Can't argue with the "great" part. And in this week's parasha, I find divine justification for my way of looking at fifty. The whole 25th chapter of Vayikra  talks about the Jubilee year that comes every 50 years. And what do you do at the year 50? You have a full year of Shabbat. You mustn't plow or plant or pick fruit or grain. You rest.

So there.


Of course, no one asked my family if they approve of this "rest" idea for Imma. They do not. Don't get me wrong, they don't demand that I cook or clean or do the laundry (well, OK, the laundry is a sore point). If I don't cook, they eat junk food. If I don't clean, we live in a garbage dump and everyone seems OK with it. So what can I do? I can't stand a filthy house and I sort of like to cook. So fifty so far looks pretty much like 49.

Sigh.

So no tent (I hate camping anyway), no herds coming in (Sheep smell bad anyway) and no evening gently falling (That is usually the time I have to drive my kids back and forth from various after school activities.) What's left? 

Here is something that was made by a younger woman (well, girl, actually.) When we were at my friend Debbie's house for some event or other, we had the following dessert that my girls deemed excellent. And it was made by Debbie's daughter, Sara Aliza. I did not have to do a thing except sit back and enjoy. As befitting my status and advanced age.


Sara Aliza's Nutty Chocolate Joongees 
(I had nothing to do with the name, BTW)


1 package Oreos (I have no idea what that means and, seeing as I am supposed to sit back and relax, I don't care, either)
3/4 stick margarine (that's about 6 Tbs)
9 Viennese crunch bars (See note about the first ingredient)
2 cups heavy cream (non dairy)*
1 package instant chocolate pudding
1 package instant vanilla pudding
2 cups non dairy milk (soy, almond, whatever)*

* I suppose you can use all dairy stuff, depending on what you're using this for.


In a blender or food processor, process the first three ingredients until all crumbly.
Make both puddings according to package instructions, using one cup milk and one cup heavy cream.
In a 9x13 pan, spread a third of the crumbs mixture. Top with the chocolate pudding. Press the pudding into the crumbs and freeze until set.
Repeat with another 1/3 of the crumbs, the vanilla pudding and the rest of the crumbs. Freeze.
To serve, let stand at room temperature for 20 minutes or so (just enough that you can spoon it out.)


If you don't faint from the fat and sugar content, you are way too young to qualify as an elder.