Fifty shades of doing nothing

50 is a heavy weight number. When one turns fifty, one is no longer a youngster. That is not to say that life is over (despite what young(er) people think) but it is a sort of middle point. A good place to pause and take stock.

In ancient times, people did not live as long as we do now. By the age of fifty, one was already an elder, revered for his or her wisdom and  getting lots of respect and consideration. Alas, today it is not so. Life expectancy being what it is, fifty is expected to be the beginning of the next great adventure.

Well, I, as we all know, am a rebel at heart and I refuse to fulfill expectations. I am a great believer in the old ways (which sort of clashes with the 'rebel' thing but that's the beauty of being annoying). So I have decided, upon turning fifty, that I am going to slow down, pause, take stock and so on. My body shouted with joy: "Finally, we get to sit on our backside and do nothing. Just as we always tried to get her to do. Yay." My mind was confused: "Are we now to stop thinking? Or increase activity? Are we supposed to be wise or doddering?" My soul was very happy: "At last. Some peace and quiet. Time to smell the roses and all that."

The world, as I should have known, was not happy. At all. Apparently people, especially women really are expected to invent a whole new "Me" at this age. One is supposed to start a rigorous regimen of exercise, get all toned up and in shape. Also, one is to find a new and exciting job (or at least a hobby) that will challenge us in ways we have never been challenged before. One is supposed to rediscover romance, to finally read all the great books that will make us smart and sophisticated, and to be calm and sure of oneself. That is not my idea of a relaxing old age. I am more the type to sit at the tent opening and watch the youngsters bring the herd in as the evening falls gently and the (other) women are putting the finishing touches on the evening meal. Like I always said, I was born into the wrong century.

So I have to read great books (notice which of the expectations I picked to remember). Fine. I read the bible. Can't argue with the "great" part. And in this week's parasha, I find divine justification for my way of looking at fifty. The whole 25th chapter of Vayikra  talks about the Jubilee year that comes every 50 years. And what do you do at the year 50? You have a full year of Shabbat. You mustn't plow or plant or pick fruit or grain. You rest.

So there.


Of course, no one asked my family if they approve of this "rest" idea for Imma. They do not. Don't get me wrong, they don't demand that I cook or clean or do the laundry (well, OK, the laundry is a sore point). If I don't cook, they eat junk food. If I don't clean, we live in a garbage dump and everyone seems OK with it. So what can I do? I can't stand a filthy house and I sort of like to cook. So fifty so far looks pretty much like 49.

Sigh.

So no tent (I hate camping anyway), no herds coming in (Sheep smell bad anyway) and no evening gently falling (That is usually the time I have to drive my kids back and forth from various after school activities.) What's left? 

Here is something that was made by a younger woman (well, girl, actually.) When we were at my friend Debbie's house for some event or other, we had the following dessert that my girls deemed excellent. And it was made by Debbie's daughter, Sara Aliza. I did not have to do a thing except sit back and enjoy. As befitting my status and advanced age.


Sara Aliza's Nutty Chocolate Joongees 
(I had nothing to do with the name, BTW)


1 package Oreos (I have no idea what that means and, seeing as I am supposed to sit back and relax, I don't care, either)
3/4 stick margarine (that's about 6 Tbs)
9 Viennese crunch bars (See note about the first ingredient)
2 cups heavy cream (non dairy)*
1 package instant chocolate pudding
1 package instant vanilla pudding
2 cups non dairy milk (soy, almond, whatever)*

* I suppose you can use all dairy stuff, depending on what you're using this for.


In a blender or food processor, process the first three ingredients until all crumbly.
Make both puddings according to package instructions, using one cup milk and one cup heavy cream.
In a 9x13 pan, spread a third of the crumbs mixture. Top with the chocolate pudding. Press the pudding into the crumbs and freeze until set.
Repeat with another 1/3 of the crumbs, the vanilla pudding and the rest of the crumbs. Freeze.
To serve, let stand at room temperature for 20 minutes or so (just enough that you can spoon it out.)


If you don't faint from the fat and sugar content, you are way too young to qualify as an elder.