Shalom Bayit

Yitzchak always strikes me as someone who got a raw deal. Not only was the akeida a traumatic event (there's an understatement) but the poor guy lost his mom, had twin boys (which can destroy anyone) and was tricked by his wife (on whose behalf he prayed to G-d). And to top it all, he lived between two giants. You can't live down Avraham, who practically invented monotheism; and you can't out do Ya'akov who has fathered no less than 12 (that's twelve!) sons. What's a fella to do?

Some people get all depressed when comparing themselves to others. Some even give up trying to live a meaningful life and just go through the motions. After all, if your father came up with the most revolutionary idea in history and your son established a dynasty while your one claim to glory was not being sacrificed,   wouldn't you feel a little unfulfilled? The poor guy never even left his homeland, while his father and his son traveled all over the known world. Talk about low self esteem.

Yet Yitzchak isn't bitter. He isn't resentful. He has every right to act out and be a menace to society yet he is a model citizen. He works hard and raises his herds, wandering from well to well and living a quiet little life, totally content with his place in the universe.

Hold on. Why did he wander from well to well? What was wrong with the first well he dug? And what happened to all the wells his father left him? Ah, well, it seems Yitzchak was a rich man. He inherited plenty from daddy and went on to get even richer simply by hard work and G-d's help. The neighbors were jealous. So, like all horrible neighbors throughout history, they sabotaged his wells by filling them with sand and rocks. Which is probably the dumbest thing one can do in the land of Israel, but that's Philistines for you.
So every time Yitchak had a well, it was filled up and rendered useless. Did he fight with the culprits? Did he try to reason with them, argue with them, sue them? Nope. He picked up and moved away and dug another well in the new place. Four times! Not once does he say "Excuse me, this here is my well, go find your own." Why would he take that bullying? Is it because he was afraid? Maybe he did not know how to fight. But the Torah said only a few verses before that he was a very, very rich man. A rich man can buy protection even if he himself can't fight. Why did he keep moving without protest?

Avraham was a warrior. We know that. Heck, he even argued with G-d. Ya'akov actually fought G-d. What happened to that gene of fighters when it was Yitzchak's turn? Went into hibernation? Why didn't he fight for his rights?

Some people are like that. We would rather accept hardship and less than we deserve in order to avoid a fight. Some call it defeatism. We call it keeping the peace. Even at the price of a sacrifice. What the heck, thought Yitzchak, I am rich enough to be able to dig all the wells that I want. Why fight over this. It will just cause a lot of shouting and pushing and someone might get hurt and really, it's fine, I'll just move. Again.

The world usually has no patience with such people. Pushovers, wusses, weaklings, all kinds of dismissive names are thrown their way. But these people are the ones who keep the world from exploding into a million pieces. Yitzchak wasn't alone. His great-great-great-great-granson, Aharon, was also a peace lover who kept quiet instead of screaming with pain. Where would we be if Yitzchak was into fighting? Did we really want the war in the Middle East to start that long ago?

Poor Yitzchak just wanted to live in peace with everybody and eat some game. Maybe a bison. Or a deer. Or a goat cooked in a special way to taste like deer. No, wait, that's not it. Oh, well.

Like every Jewish woman, I have my own recipe for brisket. Hubby loves it. I even gave it to my MIL and she even used it. But on Rosh Hashana we were at my friend Gail's house and she served brisket (of course) and my little one (the carnivore) said she preferred it to mine. I didn't care. I have no strong attachment to brisket. So I got the recipe and why don't you buy a piece of bison brisket and cook it for this Shabbat to see what Yitzchak was craving.

Gail's brisket

I have decided to bring this recipe exactly as Gail herself sent it to me because I enjoyed her unique style and wouldn't want anyone to miss out on it:


1. Get a nice cut of meat. I've used brisket, 2nd cut, French Roast. Whatever doesn't cost a mortgage payment.
2. At least one package  of Onion soup mix, a can of cranberry sauce, some wine, 4 or more onions ,about half a cup of ketchup , salt, (not much, as the  rest of the ingredients have enough already) and pepper to taste. The actual percentages are up to you, but I like the background taste to be onion-y. The sweet part is my Polish-Russian heritage (sweet kugel, sweet gefilte fish).
3. Braise the meat in the pan (or pot) in a little bit of olive oil, just enough for the meat not to stick.
Cover the meat with the rest of the ingredients, and set to simmer on the stove for at least an hour and a half. Then let cool for a while, slice the meat and return to the pot. You can leave it overnight and then just put the meat in an aluminum foil covered pan and let it cook at a 350 oven (or even less) while you prepare the rest of the meal. Serve it with the other items for dinner. If there are any leftovers, they will not suffer from re-heating.



Next time you encounter a fight you can afford to lose, ask yourself if it wouldn't be better to simply give in. After all, what can be more important than living without stress and strife?







Oops,


Rich pumpkin loaf

4 oz. softened cream cheese

¼ cup butter

1 ¼ cup sugar

2 eggs

1 cup pumpkin puree

1¾ cup flour

1 tsp. baking soda

¼ tsp. baking powder

½ tsp. salt

½ tsp. cinnamon

¼ tsp. ground cloves

1. Put softened cheese, butter, and sugar in mixing bowl. Cream together well. Beat in eggs one at a time until blended. Mix in pumpkin.
2. In another bowl combine flour, soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, cloves, and walnuts. Stir until thoroughly mixed. Pour all at once over batter. Stir just enough to moisten. Turn into greased 9x5x3 inch loaf pan.
3. Bake at 350F for 60-70 minutes until inserted toothpick comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pan. Remove to rack to finish cooling.

Makes 1 loaf.

Sorry, everyone. I forgot this was lurking at the bottom of the post. So you will just have to suffer the indignity of an extra recipe that is in no way related to the post. Think o fit as a happy mistake.

Confusing woman

This week's parasha raises a lot of questions. We all know how Eliezer picked Rivka. He asked G-d to point her out by a simple test. Except he never got to test any other girl. He had just finished making the deal with G-d when Rivka showed up, he asked her for water and she gave him the correct response. For all we know, this could have happened with any other girl he approached. On the other hand, who in the world answers like Rivka did? Was she nuts? Do you know anyone, anyone at all, who would be so accommodating to a perfect stranger? She was a kind, accommodating kind of person, you say? Really? not 40 verses later, within the same chapter, her family calls her to ask her opinion and her consent. (Which is very weird anyway because they have already agreed that the marriage was divinely ordained.) This was unheard of in the old world. Ask the girl's consent? No girl was ever asked for consent, or even opinion, regarding whom she should/would marry. That's why we have all those great, tragic love stories. So, maybe Rivka's family were ahead of their time? Helllllooo! We're talking about Lavan here! Surely you remember how "kind" and "progressive" he was. I think a much more appropriate explanation for Rivka's family's "progressive thinking" is that they knew her well enough to not want to mess with her. As we see later in her story, this was one formidable woman. She knew what she wanted and never hesitated going after it. She was strong willed and clear headed. This was not a shy little wallflower.

Which gets even stranger when she finally meet her groom-to-be. Apparently Yitzchak was one good looking dude, since Rivka was literally knocked off when she first saw him. She fell off her camel, she was so amazed. But then, this strong willed woman suddenly grows shy. Like, it was perfectly fine to ride for days, if not weeks, in the company of strange men without being covered by a shawl, but the minute you're about to meet the man you're going to marry, you have to cover yourself? Tell me this is a shy, kind little maiden, who would never plan ahead or plot her way to her goals.

Now, please understand me. I am not criticizing her. I applaud her. In a world that was so unfair to women, those who managed to play the odds to their advantage were to be admired. Like Naomi, in the book of Ruth, Rivka used the rules of her society to manipulate her fate and organize events to her benefit. Was she guided by G-d? Of course. Does this take away from her smarts? Not at all.  As G-d's partner, Rivka was doing her share in the advancement of His plans, while taking care of her own goals.

So here's to our conniving, plotting, manipulating, brilliant ancestress, without whom we may all have been red headed barbarians. If there were trade routes to the new world available back then, I would have sent her the following recipe. Every woman should have a rich chocolate muffin recipe to get her through difficult times and recharge her, so she can properly handle the men in her life.


Devil's food chocolate chip muffins

2 cup flour
2/3 cup cocoa powder*
3/4 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup milk
1/3 cup plain yogurt
1/3 cup oil
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup chocolate chips, divided


In one bowl mix the first 5 ingredients. In another bowl mix the next 5 ingredients. 
Preheat the oven to 350F. Spray or line 12 muffin cups.
Mix the two above mentioned bowls. Add 1/2 cup chocolate chips and mix well. 
Spoon into 12 muffin cups. 
Divide the other 1/2 cup chips among the muffins, sprinkling the chips on top of the muffins.
Bake for 25 minutes or until ready.

12 muffins.


* I happened to use Hershey's 100% cocoa, special dark, blend of natural and dutched cocoas. (I have the box on my desk and have just copied this from the label) The resulting muffins were almost too rich to eat ('almost' being the operative word.)





It always surprises people to find strong women in ancient texts. But people haven't change so much throughout history. Women used whatever means were available to them, mixed with their natural talents, to shape their destiny. Just like men did. Just like they do today. Are we doing it? Or do we just bow to the "inevitable circumstances"? It's the strong headed, brave and daring people who make it into the pages of history. Hopefully while, at the same time, being kind and drawing water for strangers and their camels.

Tent openings

This week's parasha opens with Avraham sitting at the opening of the tent. Now, this is a misleading expression, since the Midrash tells us that Avraham's tent had no less than four openings, one on each direction, so that whatever direction a traveler arrived from, they will encounter an open door and be welcomed with open arms. So which one was he sitting at?

Hachnassat Orchim is something we all aspire to do well. My friend Debbie is an excellent hostess who is always worried that she had somehow failed her guests. I don't know why; going to her house is like coming home. The food is yummy, the conversation interesting, everyone is made to feel welcome and comfortable. You never really want to leave.

My sister in law Dorita never worries (about anything). She simply sails calmly through hostessing, offering anything from drinks to blankets to extra candy. I really have no idea why my kids like to go there so much.

My friend Aidella is like superwoman when it comes to hosting. How can a woman with three little girls cook for and host so many people all the time? And do it so well. When she invited us to her succah, my girls responded with "Ooh, yes. The food is going to be yummy and it's always so much fun there and the baby is so cute." You'll note the order of priorities.

So we went (as if there was any question about it.) The succah was indeed huge and had two openings. Not quite "Avraham's tent" but close enough. As predicted, the baby was adorable, the other two kids wild with excitement over my youngest coming to visit them (natural reaction to her presence), there was much fun to be had and the food...... OMG. What is it about women from orthodox background? They all cook so well. And Aidella does it with so much aplomb. She cooked for all three days of the first round of Succot, like everyone else, but she cooked for large groups of guests. At every meal. And it was all unbelievably yummy. And how in the world does she find time, energy and imagination to prepare so many different types of dishes?

Me, I'm the fiend of hostesses. Hubby and the girls live in constant fear lest I will take it into my head to have someone over. I don't know why. After all, the three of them do nothing but sleep late, stay in front of their respective computers and show up after the guests are already sitting at the table. They don't help serve, or clear, or wash dishes. What's to complain about? They claim I turn into a demon before the guests are due. I do not. I only scream because no one pays any attention to my demands. I freak out because the minute I got everything the way it should be, someone always shows up and wants to move something. Really, you don't think I am being unreasonable, do you?


We had a great time at Aidella and Mendy's succah. It's not about the food (yummy) or the Torah talks (inspiring) or the conversation (fun) or even the kids (adorable). It's all about the welcome. The openings that call the guests in and make them feel like family. Avraham got that down pat. So do his descendants. 

I was ordered by my teenage masters to obtain the recipes for all the dishes we had that night. I did not feel comfortable enough to ask for every recipe so I started with the following and plan to steal more later (I am also a fiend as a guest.)


Aidella's super yummy salad with no name


In a large bowl, mix:

1/2 head purple cabbage, shredded

1/2  head green cabbage, shredded

3-4 scallions, thinly sliced

In a small bowl, mix:

4 tablespoons sugar

1 tsp. pepper

1/2 cup oil

1 tsp salt

1 tablespoon red wine vinegar

 Add dressing to salad and toss well.

Just before serving mix in:

8 Tbs slivered almonds, toasted
8 Tbs sesame seeds, toasted
1/3-1/2 cup chow mein noodles

6-8 servings




When the three visitors appeared, Avraham was probably very happy to have them over. Then he heard what they had to say and probably became even happier. A lot of trouble and heartache followed. I suppose some guests are better than others. Maybe he should have offered them this salad instead of the meat and butter....

Say WHAT???

Now what would you say if your husband came home one day and announced that he was moving the whole household to another country? When it happened to me, I was totally fine with it because it was just the two of us, we had almost no possessions (being practically newly weds) and our destination was not on a need-to-know basis.

But what if he had asked me to pack up a houseful of dishes, furniture, clothes, tools, animals and servants? And when I ask "where are we going?" (just so I'll know what sort of clothes to pack, you understand), he would say "Not sure, dear, we'll get instructions on the way." How would an average woman respond to such a request?

The torah doesn't say but, knowing what we later learned about her temperament, we can safely assume Sarai did not take this calmly. I suppose it went something like that:

"Oh, you impossible, exasperating man. How in the world do you come up with these cockamamie plans? What do you mean 'we're leaving'? Did it even occur to you to consult me on the subject? Wasn't it enough that you took me away from Ur Kasdim? Now you want me to move again? And for what? Do you have any clue about what is involved in such a move, even if I was to lose my mind and agree to it? How do you plan to carry all of our possessions? Or do you think I should leave everything behind? Because I am telling right now, it ain't gonna happen.  And what will the neighbors think? Not only are we the only monotheists in the whole world, we are now to also be the only ones leaving without a forwarding address. What am I supposed to tell my friends? How am I supposed to keep in touch with them? Facebook will not be invented for thousands of years yet. Look, Abe, I like city life. I like living in a modern house, going to the market, gossiping with the girls by the well, having an afternoon tea with my friends. Why, just the other day I got this awesome recipe from my friend Firoozeh; she's new in town. She says she comes from some land called, if you can believe it, "paras", where they talk with a funny accent but cook some really interesting food. She gave me this recipe for an amazing soup and dumplings, and I know how you love dumplings. If we leave, I do not think I will ever be able to acquire the ingredients for this dish. Are you absolutely sure you want to risk it? Wait, where are you going? You are not seriously leaving me to do all the packing by myself, are you? Hmpf. Typical."

In the end, he talked her into it. Just as later, he talked her into passing as his sister, and he talked G-d into reconsidering the destruction of S'dom, and he talked Efron into taking money for the cave of Makhpelah. Very convincing fellow, our ancestor.

And so Sarai organized the servants to pack the pots and pans, and the clothes, and the tents, and the  animals. And, like any woman worth her salt, she must have packed the special herbs and spices of her native land because she knew what men usually tend to forget: that, while traveling exposes one to new and exciting adventures, it is the familiar smells and flavors of home cooking that make the strange new place feel, at least a little bit, like home. 

And as time went by, I hope Sarai learned to love the new land she came to call home, made new friends and exchanged new recipes, knitting patterns and gossipy tidbits. And found happiness. 

I know I did.

A little before Rosh Hashana, my friend Mara (who is, Baruch Hashem, doing much better) sent me a link from her Rabbi about interesting recipes for the chag, and asked if I knew what chickpea flour was. Do I ever. It's a staple in Iranian cooking and might have been the above mentioned recipe Sarai learned from the woman who came from a land where they talk with a funny accent. 


I am bringing it here exactly as it appeared in the email. Give it a try. You can buy chickpea flour in the special flours isle at Shoprite (where they also have stuff like rye flour and rice flour, by a company called Bob's Red Mill. Their hechsher is K)

Chicken and Chickpea Dumplings (Gundi) in Chicken Soup

Adapted from Encyclopedia of Jewish Food by Gil Marks
Dumplings:

• 1 pound ground chicken
• 1.5 cups chickpea flour 
• 2 medium yellow onions, grated
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil or 1 large egg, lightly beaten
• 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• About 1 teaspoon salt
• About 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
• About 2 tablespoons water

Soup:

•  2 quarts/boxes chicken broth
• 1 large onion, thinly sliced
• 2 stalks celery, chopped
• 1 tsp olive oil
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
• Salt to taste
• Assorted chopped fresh herbs: any combination of basil, parsley and cilantro

1. In a medium bowl, combine all the meatball ingredients, adding enough water to form a mixture that is smooth but not sticky. Refrigerate until firm, at least 3 hours. Using moistened hands, shape into smooth 1-inch balls, about the size of golf balls.
2. In a large pot, add the olive oil, sliced onions and celery and cook until beginning to soften, about 5 minutes.  Add the chicken broth, lemon juice, turmeric, and salt and simmer for 10 minutes. Add the gundi, cover, and simmer until the gundi are tender, about 40 minutes.
3. Add some chopped fresh herbs to your soup bowl. Spoon dumplings and broth over herbs and serve.






Aren't we all glad Sarai was willing to leave everything familiar (again) and travel to an undisclosed destination (through the desert, no less) and make it her home, thereby starting the "wandering Jew" trend which led, eventually, to space exploration? Because how else would we know what Mars looks like?

Taste a Rainbow

In this week's parasha, it's all about the flood. The rainbow is almost an afterthought. Yet I believe that, from G-d's point of view, the flood was an unfortunate necessity, whereas the rainbow is the main point. After all, the flood was a correction of a past situation. Once everyone was dead, it was over and done with. Sort of like a good parent: if punishment is needed, hand it out. Once it's over, it's over. And we are to move on to the next item on the agenda. The rainbow, on the other hand, is forever. It is a sign to remind both us and G-d that if we don't watch our tempers, bad, regrettable things will happen.

As such, the rainbow is a puzzle. If the idea was to remind us of the flood, why is it so beautiful? The flood was not very attractive, to say the least. Of course, we all know, why. Because the rainbow is to remind us of the promise to not bring a flood of such proportions any more. And promises of loving kindness, of forgiveness and of acceptance are very beautiful. 

I like to think of G-d looking at the rainbow and remembering that, despite our insanely annoying ways, despite our stubborn insistence on (almost) always doing the wrong thing, despite our childish disregard of common sense, G-d still sees us as beautiful rainbows. He still sees our potential, our multicolored abilities and our worthiness. 

In Psalms chapter 8, verses 4-6, the psalmist says that, when he looks at G-d's mighty and awe-inspiring creations, he is amazed that humans count for anything at all; never mind hold a place in creation that is as close to G-d as possible. 

Isn't that what the rainbow is there to remind us of? G-d's promise to love us even when we are naughty and flawed. And He is using one of his more beautiful creations to do it. Something that is so wonderful and amazing that when we see it, we feel totally awed. Even when you know exactly how a rainbow happens, even if you spend years studying light frequencies and the mechanisms of refraction and reflection, you will still look up at a rainbow with breathless wonder. And you will still say "Oh, look, a rainbow" and feel a little uplifting of your heart.

So this week, forget about the flood, and Noah, and the logistics of fitting all those animals into one ark, and the endless fighting that the stress of so many days of rain must have brought about (is it any wonder he got drunk at the first opportunity?) and the dove and the olive branch (much good these two have been doing in the middle east lately) and focus on the rainbow. Forget the disaster and focus on the hope and the beauty and the knowledge that someone loves us even when we misbehave.

So. No recipes. Just ideas and you can play around with them:

Rainbow salad 
(since it's too hot for soup, flood notwithstanding)

Simply arrange in an arc on a large platter, in the following order:
Grape tomatoes; baby carrots (or carrot sticks); sliced yellow bell pepper; sliced avocado; thinly sliced red onion (which is actually purple). If you want to get super fancy, place baby blue potatoes, cooked whole, in between the avocado and onion (or you can use blue corn tortilla chips and your kids will love you for it, even if your hips won't.) Mix some vinaigrette and pour all over or serve as crudites with a dipping sauce of your choice.


 

I thought long and hard about a main course and finally had to surrender to the inevitable:  
Rainbow trout. 

Grill it with a little butter and fresh herbs of your choice. And if you have a better idea, please let me know. 




Rainbow orzo 

You can use another grain (rice, brown rice, quinoa, Israeli couscous, regular couscous, whatever). Cook it according to package instructions and add: cubes of red bell pepper, peas and carrots, corn kernels, red onion (cubed) and spices of your choice. Before mixing all these into the grain, saute the onion in a little butter or olive oil until soft, add pepper and keep cooking until starting to soften (2-3 minutes), add the rest of the veggies. spices to your taste and a little water (1-2 Tbs at most.) Cook, covered for 5 minutes or so, just until everything is a little tender. Then mix with the grain.




Rainbow cake

Use a ready mix (or your own mix) and make enough for 3 low round white cakes. After you mix the basic ingredients, add different food coloring to each cake and bake as usual. You can choose whatever colors you like: red, yellow and blue seem to work best for some reason, but feel free to use what you like (or have on hand). Once the cakes are cool, stack them (you can use colored frosting between layers) and then frost to your heart's content and cover the cake with colorful small candy (m&m, maybe?) in stripes of rainbow colors (or use rainbow sprinkles.)

Or -

Rainbow diet cake

Like with the salad, arrange the following in order: Raspberries (or strawberries); mandarin oranges (or a regular orange, sectioned and sliced); pineapple chunks; kiwi slices; blueberries (you can use dried or frozen if you must); purple grapes. Serve with or without a sweet dipping sauce. 
If you call it cake, you may not feel so deprived when looking at everyone enjoying the rainbow cake while you have to suffer through all the fruit.




When things look bad, it's easy to remember only the flood. But remember, too, that it takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow. And it's the rainbow that counts at the end.