Confusing woman

This week's parasha raises a lot of questions. We all know how Eliezer picked Rivka. He asked G-d to point her out by a simple test. Except he never got to test any other girl. He had just finished making the deal with G-d when Rivka showed up, he asked her for water and she gave him the correct response. For all we know, this could have happened with any other girl he approached. On the other hand, who in the world answers like Rivka did? Was she nuts? Do you know anyone, anyone at all, who would be so accommodating to a perfect stranger? She was a kind, accommodating kind of person, you say? Really? not 40 verses later, within the same chapter, her family calls her to ask her opinion and her consent. (Which is very weird anyway because they have already agreed that the marriage was divinely ordained.) This was unheard of in the old world. Ask the girl's consent? No girl was ever asked for consent, or even opinion, regarding whom she should/would marry. That's why we have all those great, tragic love stories. So, maybe Rivka's family were ahead of their time? Helllllooo! We're talking about Lavan here! Surely you remember how "kind" and "progressive" he was. I think a much more appropriate explanation for Rivka's family's "progressive thinking" is that they knew her well enough to not want to mess with her. As we see later in her story, this was one formidable woman. She knew what she wanted and never hesitated going after it. She was strong willed and clear headed. This was not a shy little wallflower.

Which gets even stranger when she finally meet her groom-to-be. Apparently Yitzchak was one good looking dude, since Rivka was literally knocked off when she first saw him. She fell off her camel, she was so amazed. But then, this strong willed woman suddenly grows shy. Like, it was perfectly fine to ride for days, if not weeks, in the company of strange men without being covered by a shawl, but the minute you're about to meet the man you're going to marry, you have to cover yourself? Tell me this is a shy, kind little maiden, who would never plan ahead or plot her way to her goals.

Now, please understand me. I am not criticizing her. I applaud her. In a world that was so unfair to women, those who managed to play the odds to their advantage were to be admired. Like Naomi, in the book of Ruth, Rivka used the rules of her society to manipulate her fate and organize events to her benefit. Was she guided by G-d? Of course. Does this take away from her smarts? Not at all.  As G-d's partner, Rivka was doing her share in the advancement of His plans, while taking care of her own goals.

So here's to our conniving, plotting, manipulating, brilliant ancestress, without whom we may all have been red headed barbarians. If there were trade routes to the new world available back then, I would have sent her the following recipe. Every woman should have a rich chocolate muffin recipe to get her through difficult times and recharge her, so she can properly handle the men in her life.


Devil's food chocolate chip muffins

2 cup flour
2/3 cup cocoa powder*
3/4 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup milk
1/3 cup plain yogurt
1/3 cup oil
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup chocolate chips, divided


In one bowl mix the first 5 ingredients. In another bowl mix the next 5 ingredients. 
Preheat the oven to 350F. Spray or line 12 muffin cups.
Mix the two above mentioned bowls. Add 1/2 cup chocolate chips and mix well. 
Spoon into 12 muffin cups. 
Divide the other 1/2 cup chips among the muffins, sprinkling the chips on top of the muffins.
Bake for 25 minutes or until ready.

12 muffins.


* I happened to use Hershey's 100% cocoa, special dark, blend of natural and dutched cocoas. (I have the box on my desk and have just copied this from the label) The resulting muffins were almost too rich to eat ('almost' being the operative word.)





It always surprises people to find strong women in ancient texts. But people haven't change so much throughout history. Women used whatever means were available to them, mixed with their natural talents, to shape their destiny. Just like men did. Just like they do today. Are we doing it? Or do we just bow to the "inevitable circumstances"? It's the strong headed, brave and daring people who make it into the pages of history. Hopefully while, at the same time, being kind and drawing water for strangers and their camels.