Back seat drivers

Don't you just love these people? The ones who sit back comfortably and comment nonstop on the (lack of) quality of your work?

Take my husband, for example (no, really, someone take him, please). Hubby loves to tell me that whatever it is I am doing at the moment is wrong and bound to fail. It is a miracle that A. I have done anything at all and B. He is still breathing.

Or take my oldest child (On second thought, maybe not. You'll come back and sue me for damages.) The kid will not cook. Oh, she can feed herself if she must. And she is very good at putting together various edibles and coming up with a great tasting dish. She might even, when I am desperate, put together a meal for herself and her sister. But she will not help around the kitchen on holidays. Which is when I really do need the help. Oh, well, it's my fault (like everything else). I never insist so she gets away with it. Anyway, what she is exceptionally good at is telling me what to do. Oh, man, is she good at that. Come to think of it, my whole family are world class experts in telling me what to do.

I think Moshe can relate to that. The Israelites kept telling him what he was doing wrong, the spies led a "it will never work" chorus and even his own siblings criticized his leadership and his personal life. Poor man. But the worst was Korach and his gang. They did not even complain about food or water or hardships. That could have been understood. After all, everyone was wandering in the desert together and conditions were harsh. In truth, everyone complained. Jews are kvetchers, that's a given.

No, what Korach and his posse did was to blame Moshe of thinking too much of himself and then try to start a revolution. Did they say anything specific? Besides "You think you're so holy? we're all holy"? or the old  "For this you took us out of Egypt"? Nope. It was very clear that their goal was simply to create a new order of leadership with themselves at the top. They did not even suggest a platform for new elections. They did not offer advice on how to make things better for the benefit of the people. No, they just said that Moshe is no better than anyone else and that everything he has done so far was wrong. That's classic back seat driving. Not contributing anything except criticism.

Now, I am terrible when it comes to criticizing (see above where I talk about my family). I tell it like it is, I do not mince words and I get straight to the heart of the matter. Don't get on my wrong side, I take no prisoners. But I'd like to think that I offer constructive criticism. Because if you just criticize for the sake of belittling the other person so that you can look better than them, then you are no better than Korach. And you know how he ended up.

We should never offer advice just to show how much smarter we are than everyone else. Advice must always serve the purpose of the one it is being offered to, not the one offering it. Don't tell me what I am doing wrong. Tell me how to do it right.

Meanwhile, I continue to accept "instructive criticism" from my beloved family.

So the other day, number one daughter gave me instructions on how to make a lentil salad to her specifications. I had to make a special trip to 2 different stores but that's OK. It gives me the opportunity to do my "Jewish mother thing": Guilt trips. Mwha-ha-ha.

Lentil salad as instructed

You'll need French lentils. They are smaller than regular lentils and darker in color (almost black). You can get them at Whole Foods. Cook them as you would regular lentils (i.e. cover with water, boil, cook over low heat for 30-40 minutes until tender firm.)

2 cups cooked French lentils

1 cup diced orange (that's almost a whole large orange, peeled, separated into sections, each section laid on its side, sliced horizontally, then sliced into small pieces across)

1/2 cup diced red onion (about 1/2 of a medium one)

1/2 cup thinly chopped parsley

1 Tbs olive oil (other oils OK, too)

1 Tbs red wine vinegar (must be red wine)

1/2 tsp coarse salt (you can use kosher salt or sea salt)

1/4 tsp brown mustard

Freshly ground black pepper, to taste (must be freshly ground)

Mix everything together (Well, of course you mix the dressing ingredients separately and then toss with the salad. You don't need my "back seat driver" smart mouth comments for that, now do you?)

This will feed about 4 nudniks.