The fire within

How do you choose a husband for your daughter? I am not asking from personal need, you understand. My girls are still young enough that my interest is purely academic. Nor will I live long enough to do much choosing if I dare to suggest that they let me choose for them. But what parameters would one look for? 

You want the guy to be Jewish (or, to be P.C., compatible)
You want someone who is smart, has a sense of humor, kind, rich (or at least potentially so), handsome (think of the grandchildren) and with a strong sense of family. Right?

How did Yitro choose a husband for his daughter? He married her off to a complete stranger, who showed up one day with (in all probability) not a camel to his name. Why? Was Tzipora so unmarriageable? Was he dumb? Uncaring? Desperate to get rid of seven girls? Why Moshe? It's not as if there were no other men around. That was how the girls were introduced to Moshe to begin with. When some local yahoos bothered them at the well and he helped them out.

Oh.


Yitro, as we will see later on, is a very wise man, with great knowledge of human psychology. And he knows that kindness and compassion are the most important characters in a man. (Or a woman, for that matter. Remember how Eliezer picked Rivka.) Money comes and goes. Beauty fades. A sense of humor is nice but will only take you so far. Being smart is tricky to measure; there are so many ways to be "smart". But a kind husband will take care of his wife even when money is tight, or when she looks like death warmed over, or her family lives too far to visit, or she is in no mood to laugh, or to discuss astrophysics. 

But Yitro did not take G-d into account. As kind as Moshe was to Tzipora to begin with (and I'm sure he was), one day he was drawn to a burning bush and after that, he belonged to G-d and the Israelites more than to his wife and kids. Like the families of all great leaders, Moshe's family paid the price for the fire that burned inside him. We should acknowledge their sacrifice. We should remember it and appreciate it.

Here is a soup with some fire inside.


Black Bean Soup


2 Tbs vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
8 garlic cloves, chopped
1/4 cup chopped jalapenos, with seeds
2 cups dried black beans (13 oz)
1 Tbs ground cumin
2 tsp ground corriander
8 cups (or more, as needed) vegetable broth
1 cup chopped cilantro
Lime wedges (for serving, optional)
Salt and pepper to taste

In a heavy pot, cook onion, garlic and jalapenos in oil over medium high heat until soft (about 5 minutes)
Add beans, spices and broth. Bring to a boil. Cover and cook over low heat for 2 1/4 hours, stirring occasionally. 
Add cilantro and puree soup (in blender or using immersion blender.)
Add salt and pepper to taste and more broth if necessary.
Serve with lime wedges.

Serves 8-10