What is it with biblical characters? The younger sibling always gets the upper hand. Yitzcahk was the younger brother. Ya'akov was the younger brother. Yosef was the younger brother. Efrayim was the younger brother. Moshe was the younger brother. Even Rachel was the younger sister. What's going on? Why is the younger one always faring better than the older?
I wouldn't mind so much but I am, as I mentioned before, the oldest. And both my younger siblings have left me in the dust. So I suspect it's written in our genetic code. Which doesn't bode well for my oldest child. Oy.
And, again, I wouldn't mind so much, except we keep getting all that hype about "first-born". As if it's such a grand thing to be. The first child, my sister once said, is like the first pancake; you make all the wrong moves with that one.
Let's examine the evidence:
Avraham certainly treated his first born badly. He threw him out to the desert. Granted, he treated the next one worse. Hmm.
Rivka helped cheat her first born out of his birth-right. Then made her favorite leave. Double hmm.
Lavan forced Leah on Ya'akov and did not even try to make it sound pretty. On the other hand, he wasn't too nice to Rachel, either (we know both girls did not care for him at all.) Hmmm, again.
Ya'akov was famous for preferring Yosef. We know how well that worked for all involved. Oy.
Yosef tried to give his first born his due but Ya'akov (famous for preferring the younger ones, remember?) insisted on making Efrayim supreme. If you check with the Nevi'im, you'll find out how badly this ended. Double oy.
Aharon was the high priest but apparently wasn't quite thrilled with his little brother being more important than he is. Oy vey.
So, what have we learned? Because nothing in the Torah is random. There has to be a reason for this constant preference of the younger sibling. Or maybe the reason is in the result of said preference. It doesn't usually end very well for the people involved. Maybe it's the divine plan and maybe it's all bashert and necessary for the end result. But meanwhile, feelings are hurt, lives altered for the worse, families splitting, people alienated, wars and suffering. Is there any other way? Say, realizing that each of us is important in our own right, not in our order of birth? That G-d has a plan for all of us, not just the chosen few? And that we can stop being so jealous of each other's lot in life and start working on our own destiny?
My siblings and I used to compare achievements, hoping to get brownie points with our parents. It took a while but I think we're past this. It might be because we are so totally different from each other in our goals and ideals, or we're just too tired to fight any more. Either way, I enjoy the peace.
Now, if only the descendants of Yitzchak and Ishmael find a way to live in peace.....
Here's a gentle soup for cold winter nights. Everything looks better with warm soup. Peace negotiations should be held after everyone ate something warm and creamy and are feeling mellow towards mankind.
Cream of cauliflower soup
2 Tbs butter
1/3 Lb leek (white part only, sliced thin)
2 Tbs flour
2 Lbs cauliflower (1 large head), chopped
2 quarts vegetable broth
1 cup cream
salt and pepper to taste
Saute leeks in butter over medium heat until soft but not brown.
Sprinkle flour over leeks and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes.
Add cauliflower and broth. Mix well and bring to a boil.
Lower heat to medium low, cover and simmer for 35-40 minutes until soft.
Puree (using regular or immersion blender).
Add cream and season to taste.
Re-heat gently; do not boil.
Serve warm, garnished with fresh chopped herbs of your choice (I use chives, especially their pretty purple flower heads.)
Serves 8.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
Walk two moons
An old Native American saying tells us that we cannot understand a man until we walked two moons in his moccasins. The Talmud, of course, says the same thing "Do not judge your friend until you are in his place."
So I cannot really judge Ya'akov, since I never walked in his moccasins. But I still wonder why he told Pharaoh that his life was short and bad. About the short part, OK, he lived less than his father and grandpa (although he wasn't dead yet, so how could he know?) but the 'bad' part? Why did he think his life was bad? He had many sons (the real sign of wealth in the ancient world) and many flocks (another sign.) He lived a very full life. Had known love, adventure and a personal relationship with G-d. It is true that the love of his life died too early and he believed his favorite son to be dead for many years and I can see how this will make one miserable. But Rachel died a long time ago and he had just been reunited with his favorite son, who had miraculously returned from the dead with a vengeance. Shouldn't Ya'akov be a little happy?
But some pain is beyond repair. A week ago too many parents in Connecticut had to face the worst pain there is in this world. You don't recover from a pain like this. You may go on breathing, eating, sleeping and talking, but you do not recover. Ever. And, apparently, even if, many years later, you somehow get your child back,the damage stays.
G-d willing, no one will ever have to walk in these parents' moccasins.
Potato Kugel
This is my ultimate comfort food. I know everyone knows how to make this, but that's the point. Comfort food is only comforting because it is known and familiar.
8 medium potatoes, thinly grated
2 onions, thinly grated
6 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
4 Tbs flour
1 heaping Tbs salt
In a colander over a bowl, squeeze potatoes until quite dry.
Transfer to another bowl and mix with onions.
Let liquids from squeezed potatoes stand for 5 minutes. Carefully discard liquid. There will be a layer of starch at the bottom of the bowl.
Add eggs, oil, flour and salt to the potato starch. Mix well.
Add potato and onion mix to egg mix. Mix well.
Pour into a well oiled 9x13 pan.
Bake at 400F for one hour or until ready (test it like you would test a cake).
May G-d, in His infinite mercy and compassion, bring nechama to all those who are hurting.
So I cannot really judge Ya'akov, since I never walked in his moccasins. But I still wonder why he told Pharaoh that his life was short and bad. About the short part, OK, he lived less than his father and grandpa (although he wasn't dead yet, so how could he know?) but the 'bad' part? Why did he think his life was bad? He had many sons (the real sign of wealth in the ancient world) and many flocks (another sign.) He lived a very full life. Had known love, adventure and a personal relationship with G-d. It is true that the love of his life died too early and he believed his favorite son to be dead for many years and I can see how this will make one miserable. But Rachel died a long time ago and he had just been reunited with his favorite son, who had miraculously returned from the dead with a vengeance. Shouldn't Ya'akov be a little happy?
But some pain is beyond repair. A week ago too many parents in Connecticut had to face the worst pain there is in this world. You don't recover from a pain like this. You may go on breathing, eating, sleeping and talking, but you do not recover. Ever. And, apparently, even if, many years later, you somehow get your child back,the damage stays.
G-d willing, no one will ever have to walk in these parents' moccasins.
Potato Kugel
This is my ultimate comfort food. I know everyone knows how to make this, but that's the point. Comfort food is only comforting because it is known and familiar.
8 medium potatoes, thinly grated
2 onions, thinly grated
6 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
4 Tbs flour
1 heaping Tbs salt
In a colander over a bowl, squeeze potatoes until quite dry.
Transfer to another bowl and mix with onions.
Let liquids from squeezed potatoes stand for 5 minutes. Carefully discard liquid. There will be a layer of starch at the bottom of the bowl.
Add eggs, oil, flour and salt to the potato starch. Mix well.
Add potato and onion mix to egg mix. Mix well.
Pour into a well oiled 9x13 pan.
Bake at 400F for one hour or until ready (test it like you would test a cake).
May G-d, in His infinite mercy and compassion, bring nechama to all those who are hurting.
Friday, December 14, 2012
In case of a natural disaster
It's very rare, but it does happen. Sometimes, children actually learn from their parents' example. Take Yosef. Long ago, his father, returning to Kna'an and worried sick about the reception he was likely to get from the older brother he had so thoroughly wronged, had used layer upon layer of preparations for an unavoidable (he thought) disaster. Ya'akov sent scouts to find out what's going on. He sent gifts. In increments. He sent messages. He divided his camp to increase chances of survival. He prayed. He tried everything he could think of.
Luckily for Ya'akov, none of it was at all necessary. It seems Esav was perfectly happy to forgive and forget. Phew.
Now, years later, in a faraway land, in a bizarre twist of fate, Ya'akov's beloved son is facing a danger brought upon him because of his older brothers' anger. How's that for irony? But Yosef, whether because of his genes or his keen observation powers as a child in Ya'akov's camp, knows something about getting ready for a disaster. So he offers the king a plan. Brilliant in its simplicity. One of those "Now, why didn't I think of that?" ideas.
There will be seven years of famine. True. But, since we know about it ahead of time, courtesy of the king's dream, we are not helpless. To help us face this natural disaster we can make preparations. All kinds of preparations.
For example:
If the weather center says there's a dangerous hurricane on the way, don't just poo-poo it. Don't freeze in fright. Go and get ready. Get the deck furniture into the garage, tie down the garbage cans, fill large containers with water, buy extra candles or batteries, store up on non perishables, fill up the car with gas and get some extra, check out the Hybrogen www.facebook.com/Hybrogen so you won't have to rely on loud, gas-guzzling generators.
And pray. Because many people forget that part in their rush to get ready. Remind G-d of His promises and of how you have been doing your part so this is a great time for Him to do His. Ask for what you want and what you need. And when it's all over and you and your family are (at least relatively) safe - remember to thank G-d. It's just good manners.
Feeding my family during hurricane Sandy reminded me of the weeks before Pesach when you eat your way through the freezer. Thanks to genius hubby, our refrigerator kept working, but we couldn't go the stores and we were limited to stove-top cooking only. No complaints. At least we had a house, in which to keep our stove, on which we cooked:
Shwarma flavored chicken thighs
Shwarma is an Israeli dish of slow roasted lamb (or turkey), sliced and served in pita. It's really much, much better than it sounds. Just ask anyone who has ever had it. Shwarma is also what you would call the special seasoning one puts on the meat to make it taste like Shwarma. You can buy the mix in Israeli stores under the name "Seasoning for Shwarma". In case of a hurricane - you can make a mix of your own (which may not turn out exactly the same, but so what) by mixing cumin, turmeric, paprika, coriander, salt and pepper (2 parts cumin to one part from everything else, except the salt and pepper to taste and if you want to get fancy, add a pinch of cinnamon.)
I used skinless, boneless thighs. This will work just as well with other skinless boneless parts (even breast) and extremely well with turkey. My sister in law, Dorita, even makes a whole chicken spiced with this mix and baked in a baking bag with onions and potatoes. Yum. But that's for non emergency times, because I don't know about you, but my oven did not work during Sandy (or rather, it could have but that would have drained the Hybrogen too quickly and I figured we can manage with just the stove.)
Anyway.
4 skinless boneless chicken thighs.
One large onion.
1-2 Tbs Shwarma seasoning.
1-2 Tbs vegetable oil.
Cut the meat into chunks about 1 1/2 inches square (it won't be square, you know, but that's the size you're aiming for).
Sprinkle the seasoning on it and mix really well. You want the seasoning on the meat and not left in the bowl, so use your fingers, if necessary, to work it in.
Slice the onion thinly (or chop, whatever you like).
Heat the oil in a large pan over medium high heat. Add the onion and cook for a few minutes until softened (no need to brown it but you can if you like.)
Add the seasoned meat and cook, stirring frequently, until cooked through (5-7 minutes if you cook it over medium high heat that is more high than medium.)
Serve with the pitas you had to defrost because the freezer did not work. I served it with rice because my freezer was just fine thanks to the Hybrogen (really, check it out and tell everyone you know so they will not be caught unprepared next time.)
As you can see, I was going for really simple meals. Because you don't do gourmet food in an emergency situation. If you remember, we all found out about going back to basics during that week. Well, even Yosef did not suggest they should store up truffles and Cabernet. He said they should store up grains. Sometimes, the best things in life are simple pleasures.
Luckily for Ya'akov, none of it was at all necessary. It seems Esav was perfectly happy to forgive and forget. Phew.
Now, years later, in a faraway land, in a bizarre twist of fate, Ya'akov's beloved son is facing a danger brought upon him because of his older brothers' anger. How's that for irony? But Yosef, whether because of his genes or his keen observation powers as a child in Ya'akov's camp, knows something about getting ready for a disaster. So he offers the king a plan. Brilliant in its simplicity. One of those "Now, why didn't I think of that?" ideas.
There will be seven years of famine. True. But, since we know about it ahead of time, courtesy of the king's dream, we are not helpless. To help us face this natural disaster we can make preparations. All kinds of preparations.
For example:
If the weather center says there's a dangerous hurricane on the way, don't just poo-poo it. Don't freeze in fright. Go and get ready. Get the deck furniture into the garage, tie down the garbage cans, fill large containers with water, buy extra candles or batteries, store up on non perishables, fill up the car with gas and get some extra, check out the Hybrogen www.facebook.com/Hybrogen so you won't have to rely on loud, gas-guzzling generators.
And pray. Because many people forget that part in their rush to get ready. Remind G-d of His promises and of how you have been doing your part so this is a great time for Him to do His. Ask for what you want and what you need. And when it's all over and you and your family are (at least relatively) safe - remember to thank G-d. It's just good manners.
Feeding my family during hurricane Sandy reminded me of the weeks before Pesach when you eat your way through the freezer. Thanks to genius hubby, our refrigerator kept working, but we couldn't go the stores and we were limited to stove-top cooking only. No complaints. At least we had a house, in which to keep our stove, on which we cooked:
Shwarma flavored chicken thighs
Shwarma is an Israeli dish of slow roasted lamb (or turkey), sliced and served in pita. It's really much, much better than it sounds. Just ask anyone who has ever had it. Shwarma is also what you would call the special seasoning one puts on the meat to make it taste like Shwarma. You can buy the mix in Israeli stores under the name "Seasoning for Shwarma". In case of a hurricane - you can make a mix of your own (which may not turn out exactly the same, but so what) by mixing cumin, turmeric, paprika, coriander, salt and pepper (2 parts cumin to one part from everything else, except the salt and pepper to taste and if you want to get fancy, add a pinch of cinnamon.)
I used skinless, boneless thighs. This will work just as well with other skinless boneless parts (even breast) and extremely well with turkey. My sister in law, Dorita, even makes a whole chicken spiced with this mix and baked in a baking bag with onions and potatoes. Yum. But that's for non emergency times, because I don't know about you, but my oven did not work during Sandy (or rather, it could have but that would have drained the Hybrogen too quickly and I figured we can manage with just the stove.)
Anyway.
4 skinless boneless chicken thighs.
One large onion.
1-2 Tbs Shwarma seasoning.
1-2 Tbs vegetable oil.
Cut the meat into chunks about 1 1/2 inches square (it won't be square, you know, but that's the size you're aiming for).
Sprinkle the seasoning on it and mix really well. You want the seasoning on the meat and not left in the bowl, so use your fingers, if necessary, to work it in.
Slice the onion thinly (or chop, whatever you like).
Heat the oil in a large pan over medium high heat. Add the onion and cook for a few minutes until softened (no need to brown it but you can if you like.)
Add the seasoned meat and cook, stirring frequently, until cooked through (5-7 minutes if you cook it over medium high heat that is more high than medium.)
Serve with the pitas you had to defrost because the freezer did not work. I served it with rice because my freezer was just fine thanks to the Hybrogen (really, check it out and tell everyone you know so they will not be caught unprepared next time.)
As you can see, I was going for really simple meals. Because you don't do gourmet food in an emergency situation. If you remember, we all found out about going back to basics during that week. Well, even Yosef did not suggest they should store up truffles and Cabernet. He said they should store up grains. Sometimes, the best things in life are simple pleasures.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
I have a little dreidel
OMG. It's here again. Chanukah. When did that happen? Just a year ago I wrote my first ever blog post about cooking to Maoz Tzur, and here it is frying time again. Not that I don't like Chanukah, but really, I am still working off the extra calories from last year's latkes.
So how about this? I will think up a Chanukah menu that has no frying in it but is still holiday appropriate and everyone will ignore my love handles ("handles"? I got the whole pot wrapped around my midsection. Oy.)
So. Chanukah. What comes to mind that is not latkes?
The dreidel, of course. No calories there. Perfect. OK, four dishes, based on the four letters. Piece o'cake.
(note: this menu is a bit mixed up: you have dessert first (always a good idea, since life is so uncertain), then a carby side dish, then a main course, then the veggies. Please feel free to serve it in any order you like)
Nun Nutella cookies (because nothing is as good as Nutella):
1 cup Nutella spread
1 cup flour
1 egg
Pinch baking powder
In a large bowl, mix together the Nutella and the egg. Add the flour and baking powder and stir until incorporated.
The mixture will be quite thick. Roll teaspoons of dough into balls and place on baking sheets lined with baking paper. Using the base of a glass, press each cookie down firmly.
Bake for 6 – 8 minutes at 350F.
Makes 24 cookies.
Gimmel Garlic bread (beloved by all):
This one is too simple for words. Take a long French bread (or Italian, whatever). Slice the whole thing open. Smear tons of softened butter. Add plenty of crushed garlic. Sprinkle salt, pepper, chopped parsley, grated Parmesan (all or some). Wrap well in foil. Bake at 375F for 15-20 minutes. Oh, you want specifics? Hmm... let's say one baguette, 3-4 Tbs soft butter, 3 gloves of garlic, 1 Tbs parsley, 1 Tbs Parmesan, salt and pepper to taste.
Some people make this with less butter or less garlic or even (G-d forbid) butter spray and/or garlic powder. These people deserve what they eat.
Hey Halibut with fresh breadcrumbs (half the people I know love fish, half hate it; I can't win either way):
10 Tbs butter, divided
8 (6-ounce) halibut fillets
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Juice and zest of 1 lemon
8 cloves garlic, smashed
2 cups fresh breadcrumbs (you can simply throw leftover challah in the food processor and run it until you have crumbs.)
1 cup fresh parsley leave, finely chopped (just run them in the food processor after you're done with the breadcrumbs.)
Coat a large baking dish with 2 Tbs of butter. Add the fish and season with salt, pepper, lemon zest and lemon juice.
Melt the rest of the butter (8 Tbs) in a skillet with the garlic until butter starts to bubble. Immediately turn off the heat and let rest for 2-3 minutes.
Add breadcrumbs and toss gently until the butter is absorbed. Add parsley and season to taste with salt and pepper (remember there is already seasoning on the fish itself, so go easy.)
Spread the breadcrumb mixture on the fish.
Bake at 400F for 12-15 minutes or until the breadcrumbs are golden brown and the fish is cooked through. You may need to adjust cooking time depending on the thickness of the fillets.
Serves 8.
Shin Shredded salad (put one (of each veggie) in):
Salad:
1 raw large beet trimmed, scrubbed & quartered
1 very small (about the size of a small grapefruit) red cabbage, quartered
1 large carrot, scrubbed & trimmed
1 very small (about the size of a small grapefruit) white cabbage, quartered
1 apple, quartered
1 cup walnuts, roughly bashed
1 handful Italian parsley chopped
1 handful mint, chopped
Dressing:
1 tablespoon Greek yogurt
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
sea salt & ground pepper
Coarsely grate all salad ingredients (use a food processor for ease and speed) in the order they appear above. This will (hopefully) stop the beets from staining everything. If your food processor is small, do this in batches.
Turn vegetables out onto a platter so you get a pile of rainbow colors.
Mix the yogurt, mustard, vinegar, and oil, then season with salt and pepper.
Add walnuts and herbs and toss everything together.
Sevres 8.
See? No frying, a meal that is dairy in honor of Yehudit, a menu that relates to one of the holiday's symbols and, between the fish and the salad, you can ignore the enormous amounts of butter and pretend it's healthy.
So how about this? I will think up a Chanukah menu that has no frying in it but is still holiday appropriate and everyone will ignore my love handles ("handles"? I got the whole pot wrapped around my midsection. Oy.)
So. Chanukah. What comes to mind that is not latkes?
The dreidel, of course. No calories there. Perfect. OK, four dishes, based on the four letters. Piece o'cake.
(note: this menu is a bit mixed up: you have dessert first (always a good idea, since life is so uncertain), then a carby side dish, then a main course, then the veggies. Please feel free to serve it in any order you like)
Nun Nutella cookies (because nothing is as good as Nutella):
1 cup Nutella spread
1 cup flour
1 egg
Pinch baking powder
In a large bowl, mix together the Nutella and the egg. Add the flour and baking powder and stir until incorporated.
The mixture will be quite thick. Roll teaspoons of dough into balls and place on baking sheets lined with baking paper. Using the base of a glass, press each cookie down firmly.
Bake for 6 – 8 minutes at 350F.
Makes 24 cookies.
Gimmel Garlic bread (beloved by all):
This one is too simple for words. Take a long French bread (or Italian, whatever). Slice the whole thing open. Smear tons of softened butter. Add plenty of crushed garlic. Sprinkle salt, pepper, chopped parsley, grated Parmesan (all or some). Wrap well in foil. Bake at 375F for 15-20 minutes. Oh, you want specifics? Hmm... let's say one baguette, 3-4 Tbs soft butter, 3 gloves of garlic, 1 Tbs parsley, 1 Tbs Parmesan, salt and pepper to taste.
Some people make this with less butter or less garlic or even (G-d forbid) butter spray and/or garlic powder. These people deserve what they eat.
Hey Halibut with fresh breadcrumbs (half the people I know love fish, half hate it; I can't win either way):
10 Tbs butter, divided
8 (6-ounce) halibut fillets
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Juice and zest of 1 lemon
8 cloves garlic, smashed
2 cups fresh breadcrumbs (you can simply throw leftover challah in the food processor and run it until you have crumbs.)
1 cup fresh parsley leave, finely chopped (just run them in the food processor after you're done with the breadcrumbs.)
Coat a large baking dish with 2 Tbs of butter. Add the fish and season with salt, pepper, lemon zest and lemon juice.
Melt the rest of the butter (8 Tbs) in a skillet with the garlic until butter starts to bubble. Immediately turn off the heat and let rest for 2-3 minutes.
Add breadcrumbs and toss gently until the butter is absorbed. Add parsley and season to taste with salt and pepper (remember there is already seasoning on the fish itself, so go easy.)
Spread the breadcrumb mixture on the fish.
Bake at 400F for 12-15 minutes or until the breadcrumbs are golden brown and the fish is cooked through. You may need to adjust cooking time depending on the thickness of the fillets.
Serves 8.
Shin Shredded salad (put one (of each veggie) in):
Salad:
1 raw large beet trimmed, scrubbed & quartered
1 very small (about the size of a small grapefruit) red cabbage, quartered
1 large carrot, scrubbed & trimmed
1 very small (about the size of a small grapefruit) white cabbage, quartered
1 apple, quartered
1 cup walnuts, roughly bashed
1 handful Italian parsley chopped
1 handful mint, chopped
Dressing:
1 tablespoon Greek yogurt
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
sea salt & ground pepper
Coarsely grate all salad ingredients (use a food processor for ease and speed) in the order they appear above. This will (hopefully) stop the beets from staining everything. If your food processor is small, do this in batches.
Turn vegetables out onto a platter so you get a pile of rainbow colors.
Mix the yogurt, mustard, vinegar, and oil, then season with salt and pepper.
Add walnuts and herbs and toss everything together.
Sevres 8.
See? No frying, a meal that is dairy in honor of Yehudit, a menu that relates to one of the holiday's symbols and, between the fish and the salad, you can ignore the enormous amounts of butter and pretend it's healthy.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Of course he's heavy; He's my brother
I happen to know something about spoiled rotten younger brothers. Both hubby and I are the oldest in our families.
My brother was The Son. He was so spoiled that I had to get married just so I could get out of making his bed for him (boy was 16 at the time.) Not his fault, of course. I blame my parents (always and for everything; it's what parents are for, after all.)
Hubby's brother, Andy, was so spoiled that my MIL learned to cook and clean with one hand, the other being constantly occupied by a screaming babe.
But being spoiled is one thing. You can't help how your parents treat you or your siblings. After all, you got your brains from them so you shouldn't be surprised by their actions. The trouble starts when the spoiled brat grows up and continues to think the sun rises and sets for his sake.
Andy is at least polite enough to pretend he has some respect for his big brother. My brother doesn't even bother to hide his feelings of superiority. And the worst part? He's usually (OK, OK, always, darn it) right.
So it is with great sympathy that I read this week's parasha. Yosef really is a huge pain in the neck. And it doesn't help that it turns out later (spoiler alert) that he was totally right and everything he dreamed about came true. That's just adding insult to injury.
He was a spoiled brat. He was a show-off. And he was a pain in the tuchis. But he was right. Unfortunately for him, in order to be proven right, he had to be sold into slavery, exiled to Egypt and suffer, suffer, suffer. Which just goes to show that I should have read the bible more often as a teenager. Could have used some ideas of how to deal with the pest back then (too late now, he's taller than me and has a wife to protect him.)
Bubba doesn't like most foodstuffs. He won't eat fish (or even be in a house where fish was cooked during the previous week), mushrooms, eggplants, zucchini or any soup. This is a partial list as it keeps changing with the weather. One of the foods that he doesn't eat is celery, which makes cooking a bit difficult as celery is used as a base for many meat dishes, along with onions and carrots. And the beast will not eat a dish which was acquainted with celery even if it was chopped real small and cooked down to nothing.
So, as an act of (pathetic) revenge on all annoying little brothers, here is a dish where celery (a very healthy vegetable) is a star. This is a variation on an Iranian dish. I omitted the meat because it's really not that necessary (feel free to add pieces of chicken or cubes of stew meat to this if you wish). See note at the end regarding the vegetable mix.
Celery stew
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 cups chopped onion (I used 1 large onion and 1 medium onion)
1/2 pickled lemon, thinly sliced (or 2-3 Persian dried limes)
2 celery hearts, sliced into 1 inch long chunks (about 7 cups)
2 1/2 oz package of AASAN Dehydrated Vegetables for Sabzi Polo (see note)
1 tsp salt
6 cups water
1/2 tsp black pepper
1. Soak dried vegetables in warm water to cover for one hour. Carefully strain through cheesecloth or coffee filters. Squeeze gently.
2.Saute onions in oil over medium high heat until soft.
3. Add pickled lemon and cook one minute (if using dried limes, add them at step 4)
4. Add celery and drained vegetables, salt, pepper, and water. Bring to a boil.
5. Cook over low heat, partially covered for half an hour or until the celery is soft but not falling apart. Add salt if necessary, to taste.
This is best served over basmati rice (see my post "Pierced ears" of 2/17/12) and will serve 10-12 people.
Note: AASAN Dehydrated vegetables are Iranian vegetables that are ready to cook. They can be found in Middle Eastern stores (not necessarily Iranian, try Indian, Syrian, Lebanese, etc.) They have a hechsher which I will try to describe (the letters RCC inside the letter K) and which was approved by my frummie sister in law. Use your judgement. Even though this dish is not Sabzi Polo, this is the mix I used (they have many other mixes) and it worked beautifully. I think other mixes may work too - you may have to explain what you are planning to cook and rely on help from the shopkeeper.
Dried Persian limes can be found in similar stores. I don't know about hechsher. I use home made pickled ones (see: "Harvest time" 10/5/12). In a pinch, just add lemon juice to taste (start with 1/4 cup) at the end of cooking. Won't taste the same, though.
And if all else fails, I understand the Yishmaelites are still in the market for slaves. Arrogant, pesky young brothers - beware.
My brother was The Son. He was so spoiled that I had to get married just so I could get out of making his bed for him (boy was 16 at the time.) Not his fault, of course. I blame my parents (always and for everything; it's what parents are for, after all.)
Hubby's brother, Andy, was so spoiled that my MIL learned to cook and clean with one hand, the other being constantly occupied by a screaming babe.
But being spoiled is one thing. You can't help how your parents treat you or your siblings. After all, you got your brains from them so you shouldn't be surprised by their actions. The trouble starts when the spoiled brat grows up and continues to think the sun rises and sets for his sake.
Andy is at least polite enough to pretend he has some respect for his big brother. My brother doesn't even bother to hide his feelings of superiority. And the worst part? He's usually (OK, OK, always, darn it) right.
So it is with great sympathy that I read this week's parasha. Yosef really is a huge pain in the neck. And it doesn't help that it turns out later (spoiler alert) that he was totally right and everything he dreamed about came true. That's just adding insult to injury.
He was a spoiled brat. He was a show-off. And he was a pain in the tuchis. But he was right. Unfortunately for him, in order to be proven right, he had to be sold into slavery, exiled to Egypt and suffer, suffer, suffer. Which just goes to show that I should have read the bible more often as a teenager. Could have used some ideas of how to deal with the pest back then (too late now, he's taller than me and has a wife to protect him.)
Bubba doesn't like most foodstuffs. He won't eat fish (or even be in a house where fish was cooked during the previous week), mushrooms, eggplants, zucchini or any soup. This is a partial list as it keeps changing with the weather. One of the foods that he doesn't eat is celery, which makes cooking a bit difficult as celery is used as a base for many meat dishes, along with onions and carrots. And the beast will not eat a dish which was acquainted with celery even if it was chopped real small and cooked down to nothing.
So, as an act of (pathetic) revenge on all annoying little brothers, here is a dish where celery (a very healthy vegetable) is a star. This is a variation on an Iranian dish. I omitted the meat because it's really not that necessary (feel free to add pieces of chicken or cubes of stew meat to this if you wish). See note at the end regarding the vegetable mix.
Celery stew
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 cups chopped onion (I used 1 large onion and 1 medium onion)
1/2 pickled lemon, thinly sliced (or 2-3 Persian dried limes)
2 celery hearts, sliced into 1 inch long chunks (about 7 cups)
2 1/2 oz package of AASAN Dehydrated Vegetables for Sabzi Polo (see note)
1 tsp salt
6 cups water
1/2 tsp black pepper
1. Soak dried vegetables in warm water to cover for one hour. Carefully strain through cheesecloth or coffee filters. Squeeze gently.
2.Saute onions in oil over medium high heat until soft.
3. Add pickled lemon and cook one minute (if using dried limes, add them at step 4)
4. Add celery and drained vegetables, salt, pepper, and water. Bring to a boil.
5. Cook over low heat, partially covered for half an hour or until the celery is soft but not falling apart. Add salt if necessary, to taste.
This is best served over basmati rice (see my post "Pierced ears" of 2/17/12) and will serve 10-12 people.
Note: AASAN Dehydrated vegetables are Iranian vegetables that are ready to cook. They can be found in Middle Eastern stores (not necessarily Iranian, try Indian, Syrian, Lebanese, etc.) They have a hechsher which I will try to describe (the letters RCC inside the letter K) and which was approved by my frummie sister in law. Use your judgement. Even though this dish is not Sabzi Polo, this is the mix I used (they have many other mixes) and it worked beautifully. I think other mixes may work too - you may have to explain what you are planning to cook and rely on help from the shopkeeper.
Dried Persian limes can be found in similar stores. I don't know about hechsher. I use home made pickled ones (see: "Harvest time" 10/5/12). In a pinch, just add lemon juice to taste (start with 1/4 cup) at the end of cooking. Won't taste the same, though.
And if all else fails, I understand the Yishmaelites are still in the market for slaves. Arrogant, pesky young brothers - beware.
Friday, November 30, 2012
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
When one turns 50, one should: A. Know better and B. Be allowed to do whatever the heck one wants to (at least on that day.) Unfortunately, these two things are usually opposites of each other. Example: I know very well (A.) that if I tell my real opinion about Ya'akov, the only thing that will save me from being crucified is the fact that Jews just don't do crucifixions. Yet today is my 50th birthday and I feel I should be allowed (B.) to say what I want. After all, the whole point of getting older is to get to the blessed place where you can speak your mind and ignore the horrified gasps around you.
Ya'akov is a patriarch. Yes. And I'm sure the sages have plenty of praise for him. But as a human being he pretty much sucks. As a son, he tricks his father. As a brother, he cheats his sibling. As a husband he isn't nice even to Rachel (though I will give him that: he did consult his wives before a major move). And don't get me started on his fathering style. You'd think a man with 12 sons will eventually learn how stupid it is to show favoritism. Not to mention learning to better control your kids' actions. And never mind his treatment of Dina. Or lack thereof.
No. I have no nice things to say about Ya'akov. And this being my birthday - I won't bother.
And I don't see why I have to cook today. Shouldn't I be pampered beyond reason?
But in this vale of tears, there is no justice to be found anywhere. Sigh. I am old and frail and nobody cares. All that's left are the memories. Of this awesome cake my mom used to make before we learned to fear calories, sugar and fat. When life was simple. Double sigh.
Whipped cream and meringue cake
This cake is made up of three layers (each more fattening than the other):
Layer one - the cake base
2 egg yolks
7 Tbs margarine (100 grams)
2 tsp baking powder
2 cups flour
Mix well into a smooth dough.
Press into a 9x13 greased baking pan.
Bake at 350F for 30-45 minutes or until golden.
Cool completely.
(I know, no sugar. Just keep reading...)
Layer two - whipped cream
Whip 2 cups heavy cream with 1/2 cup sugar and 1 tsp Israeli powdered coffee (you may be able to use an American brand but the Israeli Nescafe is milder and blends much better into the cream).
The goal is to make a firm enough whipped cream that you can easily spread over the base of the cake. Just don't over beat as you may end up with butter...
Layer three - meringue
Beat 4 egg whites until foamy.
Add one and a quarter cups sugar and continue beating until stiff peaks form.
Grease a shallow baking pan (9x13 or larger), line with baking paper and then grease the paper itself.
Spread the meringue evenly on the paper. It doesn't have to be super smooth.
Bake at 300F for one hour.
Immediately peel paper away from meringue (carefully). It's OK if it breaks a bit.
Cool completely.
Assembly:
Spread the whipped cream evenly over the cake base.
Carefully lay the meringue over the cream layer. The meringue will likely fall apart in transfer. It's OK. You'll break it anyway when trying to slice the cake. Just try not to break it so much that it's all crumbs.
Optional - drizzle with chocolate syrup and/or sprinkle chopped walnuts over the cake. Because, you know, it's not fattening enough as it is.
Chill well. Slice carefully (the meringue sort of crumbles but the rest of the cake, if chilled well, will hold its shape enough to serve.) We found it best to "cut" the cake with a large spoon.
And make sure you have 911 on speed dial. This cake should come with a General Surgeon's warning.
There are advantages and disadvantages to growing old. One can no longer carelessly eat stuff like this. On the other hand, one may carelessly express oneself and tell the protesters to go fly a kite. Ya'akov wasn't a nice person. So there.
Ya'akov is a patriarch. Yes. And I'm sure the sages have plenty of praise for him. But as a human being he pretty much sucks. As a son, he tricks his father. As a brother, he cheats his sibling. As a husband he isn't nice even to Rachel (though I will give him that: he did consult his wives before a major move). And don't get me started on his fathering style. You'd think a man with 12 sons will eventually learn how stupid it is to show favoritism. Not to mention learning to better control your kids' actions. And never mind his treatment of Dina. Or lack thereof.
No. I have no nice things to say about Ya'akov. And this being my birthday - I won't bother.
And I don't see why I have to cook today. Shouldn't I be pampered beyond reason?
But in this vale of tears, there is no justice to be found anywhere. Sigh. I am old and frail and nobody cares. All that's left are the memories. Of this awesome cake my mom used to make before we learned to fear calories, sugar and fat. When life was simple. Double sigh.
Whipped cream and meringue cake
This cake is made up of three layers (each more fattening than the other):
Layer one - the cake base
2 egg yolks
7 Tbs margarine (100 grams)
2 tsp baking powder
2 cups flour
Mix well into a smooth dough.
Press into a 9x13 greased baking pan.
Bake at 350F for 30-45 minutes or until golden.
Cool completely.
(I know, no sugar. Just keep reading...)
Layer two - whipped cream
Whip 2 cups heavy cream with 1/2 cup sugar and 1 tsp Israeli powdered coffee (you may be able to use an American brand but the Israeli Nescafe is milder and blends much better into the cream).
The goal is to make a firm enough whipped cream that you can easily spread over the base of the cake. Just don't over beat as you may end up with butter...
Layer three - meringue
Beat 4 egg whites until foamy.
Add one and a quarter cups sugar and continue beating until stiff peaks form.
Grease a shallow baking pan (9x13 or larger), line with baking paper and then grease the paper itself.
Spread the meringue evenly on the paper. It doesn't have to be super smooth.
Bake at 300F for one hour.
Immediately peel paper away from meringue (carefully). It's OK if it breaks a bit.
Cool completely.
Assembly:
Spread the whipped cream evenly over the cake base.
Carefully lay the meringue over the cream layer. The meringue will likely fall apart in transfer. It's OK. You'll break it anyway when trying to slice the cake. Just try not to break it so much that it's all crumbs.
Optional - drizzle with chocolate syrup and/or sprinkle chopped walnuts over the cake. Because, you know, it's not fattening enough as it is.
Chill well. Slice carefully (the meringue sort of crumbles but the rest of the cake, if chilled well, will hold its shape enough to serve.) We found it best to "cut" the cake with a large spoon.
And make sure you have 911 on speed dial. This cake should come with a General Surgeon's warning.
There are advantages and disadvantages to growing old. One can no longer carelessly eat stuff like this. On the other hand, one may carelessly express oneself and tell the protesters to go fly a kite. Ya'akov wasn't a nice person. So there.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Wedding soup
When my friend Gail and I attended the wedding of our friend Debbie's son Akiva, we sat at the same table and discussed the soup.
This may sound shallow but that's because you did not taste said soup. It was butternut squash and we were trying to figure out how it was made and what was in it besides the squash so that I can replicate it for the benefit of all.
Soup is an important issue but really we should have been paying closer attention to the wedding. In our defense, we did pay close attention before and after the soup incident. The bride was radiant, the ceremony moving, the groom was jumping with joy (I mean literally jumping), the dancing was intense (as only dancing at a Jewish orthodox wedding can be) and the bride's girlfriends came up with endless props for entertainment while the groom's friends were trying to outdo them on the other side of the mechitza with impossible feats of dare-deviling.
Weddings are great. Jewish weddings are even better since even when people do get drunk (happens) all they do is make merry.
However, sometimes, at Jewish weddings, people do get drunk (or in some way disoriented) and make mistakes. Then they wake up in the morning and find out they married the wrong sister.
I feel sad for all the players in this drama.
That night must have been lovely. Clear and fresh. The smoke from the many fires around the campground must have blinded Ya'akov and being drunk with happiness (and probably with L'Chaim after L'Chaim, as well), he eagerly stumbled into the marriage tent and did not realize how horribly he was cheated until it was too late.
But it wasn't all bad. Leah gave him many sons and loved him through thick and thin. She probably was a good cook, too. Having so many kids and no time or inclination to dwell on physical beauty (what's the point, when your sister is always hailed as "the pretty one"?) is usually an incentive to develop other skills. So she must have made him delicious meals. Like soup.
Roasted Butternut squash soup
1 medium sized butternut squash (about a foot long)
1 medium onion chopped
1 large garlic clove sliced
2 Tbs vegetable oil
1/4 Lb tofu (any kind) drained and cubed
Pinch coarse salt
1 large branch of fresh thyme (about the size of your palm, including side branches)
4 cups vegetable broth (or you can use chicken broth)
Cut squash in half. Scoop seeds and discard. Cut each half into 4 pieces.
Arrange on an oiled baking sheet, spray pieces with oil spray.
Bake at 450F for half an hour. Scoop flesh out or peel pieces.
In a large pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and garlic. Cover and cook over medium heat until soft and starts to brown, about 10-15 minutes.
Add squash pieces, tofu, salt and broth to cover (you may need more than 4 cups).
Tie thyme branch with kitchen string and immerse in soup.
Bring to a boil, lower heat to medium-low, cover and cook for an hour or until squash is completely soft.
Remove thyme branch. Puree soup using immersion blender or food processor. Taste and add salt if needed.
Makes 4 servings.
So, anyway, the wedding was beautiful, the soup was delicious and Akiva and Tzivya have a beautiful daughter. I'm not saying it was because of the soup, but it sure didn't hurt.
This may sound shallow but that's because you did not taste said soup. It was butternut squash and we were trying to figure out how it was made and what was in it besides the squash so that I can replicate it for the benefit of all.
Soup is an important issue but really we should have been paying closer attention to the wedding. In our defense, we did pay close attention before and after the soup incident. The bride was radiant, the ceremony moving, the groom was jumping with joy (I mean literally jumping), the dancing was intense (as only dancing at a Jewish orthodox wedding can be) and the bride's girlfriends came up with endless props for entertainment while the groom's friends were trying to outdo them on the other side of the mechitza with impossible feats of dare-deviling.
Weddings are great. Jewish weddings are even better since even when people do get drunk (happens) all they do is make merry.
However, sometimes, at Jewish weddings, people do get drunk (or in some way disoriented) and make mistakes. Then they wake up in the morning and find out they married the wrong sister.
I feel sad for all the players in this drama.
That night must have been lovely. Clear and fresh. The smoke from the many fires around the campground must have blinded Ya'akov and being drunk with happiness (and probably with L'Chaim after L'Chaim, as well), he eagerly stumbled into the marriage tent and did not realize how horribly he was cheated until it was too late.
But it wasn't all bad. Leah gave him many sons and loved him through thick and thin. She probably was a good cook, too. Having so many kids and no time or inclination to dwell on physical beauty (what's the point, when your sister is always hailed as "the pretty one"?) is usually an incentive to develop other skills. So she must have made him delicious meals. Like soup.
Roasted Butternut squash soup
1 medium sized butternut squash (about a foot long)
1 medium onion chopped
1 large garlic clove sliced
2 Tbs vegetable oil
1/4 Lb tofu (any kind) drained and cubed
Pinch coarse salt
1 large branch of fresh thyme (about the size of your palm, including side branches)
4 cups vegetable broth (or you can use chicken broth)
Cut squash in half. Scoop seeds and discard. Cut each half into 4 pieces.
Arrange on an oiled baking sheet, spray pieces with oil spray.
Bake at 450F for half an hour. Scoop flesh out or peel pieces.
In a large pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and garlic. Cover and cook over medium heat until soft and starts to brown, about 10-15 minutes.
Add squash pieces, tofu, salt and broth to cover (you may need more than 4 cups).
Tie thyme branch with kitchen string and immerse in soup.
Bring to a boil, lower heat to medium-low, cover and cook for an hour or until squash is completely soft.
Remove thyme branch. Puree soup using immersion blender or food processor. Taste and add salt if needed.
Makes 4 servings.
So, anyway, the wedding was beautiful, the soup was delicious and Akiva and Tzivya have a beautiful daughter. I'm not saying it was because of the soup, but it sure didn't hurt.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Seeing red
So this guy was sitting near the cooking fire at camp, working on a great dish he had just invented:
2 Tbs extra virgin olive oil
2 medium onions, diced
1 fresh hot pepper (the light green kind) seeded and thinly sliced
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp coarse salt (or kosher salt)
1/2 tsp mustard powder
1/4 tsp black pepper
6 garlic cloves
1 pickled lemon
2 cans (14 1/2 oz each) diced tomatoes
14 oz water (measure this by pouring water into one of the empty cans)
1 can (6 oz) tomato paste
1/2 cup brown lentils, cooked (measured before cooking)
1/2 cup red lentils, cooked (measured before cooking)
6 leaves of fresh sage (Do NOT use dry. If you don't have fresh, skip this part)
2 tsp fresh thyme leaves (Do NOT use dry. If you don't have fresh, skip this part)
Cook onions in oil over medium-low heat in a covered pot, stirring occasionally.
Meanwhile, in a food processor, process garlic, pickled lemon (remove pits first)
and the liquid from the diced tomatoes until you have a wet paste.
When onions are very soft (about 10-15 minutes) increase heat to medium-high and add hot pepper. Cook one minute. Add all the spices except salt. Stir and cook another minute.
Add garlic-lemon paste, stir well and cook another minute.
Add diced tomatoes, tomato paste and water. Stir well, reaching all the way to the bottom of the pot.
Add salt. Bring to a gentle boil.
Cook, covered, over medium low heat, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes.
Add lentils and fresh herbs. Stir well. Cook 15 minutes more.
Makes 5-6 servings.
Now, granted, some of the ingredients in that guy's recipe (not to mention some of the tools) probably were not available at the time he was cooking it but why spoil a great story with petty details?
OK. So he is cooking up a storm and here comes his (slightly older) brother, tired, sweaty, muddy and mad as a hornet. Poor guy spent the whole day running around hill and dale and found not one animal considerate enough to be willing to die so as to serve as his dinner. The man was starving. And as he walks into camp, he smells this heavenly stew. Salivating, he approaches the cooking fire and, glory be, it is his little brother cooking something that looks mighty good.
Says the hunter "Brother, can you spare a bowl? On second thought, I'll take the whole pot, if you can spare it"
"W-e-l-l," says the cook, "I dunno. I've been spendin' all morning slaving over this here pot o' stew and now you want me to just hand it over? What's in it for me?"
"What do you want for it?" asks the hunter
The cook scratches his head, thinking. "I'll take your best tent, your first wife and 80% of your flocks"
"Say what?" growls the hunter "Look, buster, this pot ain't got but two or three bowl-fulls in it. You're asking for too much"
The cook shrugs "Fine, how about handing over your birthright instead?"
"Birthright? What good will a birthright do me if I am to drop dead in a minute? I came here starving and then you keep me talking about crazy high prices and all. Take the danged birthright and let me have some chow, will ya?"
And so a deal was struck. Showing the danger of thinking you are "starving" when really you're just a bit hungry. There really are starving people in the world. Esav was not one of them that day and mistaking a grumbling tummy for imminent death had cost him (and his brother) great distress down the line.
On the other hand, while this recipe really smells and tastes enticing enough to trick your older siblings into giving you their birth right, do you really want to be the firstborn? Name one firstborn in the bible that came to a happy ending.
Sigh.
(As you may have guessed, I am a firstborn, and I sure wish one of my siblings would take it off my hands)
Friday, November 9, 2012
Second. Best.
Do you have a mother in law? Mine is a very strong presence in our lives. Hubby loves his momma very much. Sometimes, like most daughters in law, I suppose, I get a little jealous of just how much. My MIL is the quintessential mother. She will work herself to an early grave (G-d forbid) to serve her children (And grandchildren. And various family members. And guests. And people usually filed under "other".) Lazy bum that I am, it's impossible to compete. I could never spoil hubby the way his mommy can. Sigh.
But, compared to Rivka, I have it easy. Her MIL was dead. How do you compete with that? Death of MIL should make it easier, you say? Huh! Consider this: Yitzchak was very much attached to his mom (sounds familiar?) and her death hit him hard. The Torah says he brought his bride into Sarah's tent and she was a comfort to him after his mother's death. So, first of all, that's a pretty heavy load to carry, being a comfort to your brand new husband over a death that, in all probability, happened before you ever met. And second, if he was that broken, what could Rivka possibly do that would compete with the giant shadow cast by Sarah?
I firmly believe that each generation should be better than the one before (which, I realize, never happens, but is nice as an idea) or else what's the point? If we do not improve the race from generation to generation, how can we ever hope to be good enough for the Moshiach? So a daughter in law should be better than a mother in law in terms of housekeeping (oops), child rearing (as if) and cooking (hear that hollow laughter.)
OK. Not happening. But it's good to have something to dream about.
Anyway, my MIL makes this unbelievable chicken. In truth, she got the recipe from uncle Solly but still. She only make it twice a year (Pesach and Rosh Hashana) and I wait with bated breath (salivating all the way) for its appearance. I usually eat nothing else at the holiday table so as not to interfere with the flavor of the chicken.
The problem is, the recipe sounds completely fictional. No one believes it. Neither did I until I tried it out of desperation and saw "ki tov".
But, as I said, daughters in law should strive to improve the MIL's legacy or we will still be stepping in place at the end of time. And here's the fun part: this dish creates leftovers that are not readily usable and I, MIL2.0, have found a use for them. So there.
First, the fictional chicken. Remember this is a recipe that makes no sense yet works like a dream.
Take one whole chicken. Put (breast side down) in an aluminum disposable (very important) pan. Add 2 or 3 onions sliced into thick wedges (about 12 wedges per onion). Sprinkle with a little (or a lot, your choice) kosher or other coarse salt. Place in middle of preheated oven at 350F. Cook for at least 2 hours, preferably 3, possible to go for 4 (but check it). The chicken should be a nice brown, lots of juices in the pan, onions mostly light brown (some darker than others) and the chicken looks like it's dried out. It's not.
That's it. I know, it sounds weird. But it works. Now for the "daughter in law living up to the MIL's legendary image" part. I made this chicken and used way more onions than we could possibly eat with the chicken. Do we throw them out? G-d forbid. After all, my MIL is Iranian. For my non Israeli readers, in Israeli folklore, Iranians are the cheapskates. So there was no way she would approve of me throwing out the extra onions. And here is what happened:
Stuffed mushrooms with leftover onions
6 large onions that were cooked with chicken as described above
1/3 - 1/2 cup (or more as needed) of pan juices from said chicken
2 Tbs balsamic vinegar
1 Lb ground beef
2/3 cup mixed grains (see note at the end) measured before cooking, cooked in vegetable or chicken broth.
14 very large white mushrooms (And I do mean very large, about 4 inches across. If you can't find them, use smaller ones but then I don't know how many this will make). Stems removed, peeled if you wish to (I always do).
Extra virgin olive oil (about 3-4 Tbs)
1/4-1/2 cup vegetable or chicken broth
In a food processor, grind onions with balsamic vinegar and about 1/2 cup of the chicken's pan juices. This will take some time and will produce a thick sauce (like oatmeal).
Brown the ground beef in a pan (you can use a little oil or not, your choice), until no longer pink.
Mix beef with cooked grains. Add half the onion/balsamic vinegar sauce to the beef and grains mix. Mix well. There's no need for any spices (especially if you used salt with the chicken).
In a shallow baking dish spread the olive oil (enough to coat the bottom a little). Arrange mushrooms in dish (I had to use two large dishes. The mushrooms take up a lot of space).
Stuff each mushroom with the beef and grains mixture (about 1 or 2 Tbs each, at least). Heap it up nicely.
Spoon one tablespoon of the remaining onion/balsamic vinegar sauce over the stuffing in each mushroom. Pour whatever sauce remains around the mushrooms.
Add the broth to the sauce in the dish (if you used more than one dish because of space issues, use 1/4 cup for each dish).
Cover tightly with foil.
Bake at 350F for an hour.
Serve warm.
Makes 7 servings as a main dish; 14 as an appetizer.
Note about the grains: I used some sort of parboiled mixed grains I got at Costco, but any mix of grains will do. You can use leftovers of rice, wheat , barley, quinoa, millet, whatever. The more types of grains - the better the taste of the final dish. If using leftovers, you'll need to guess about the amount since the amount given in the recipe is before cooking. Basically, there was the same amount of cooked grains as cooked ground beef. Work from this.
And remember, the best mothers in law are those who leave room for their sons' wives to outshine them. It's for your own son's benefit when you really think about it, no?
But, compared to Rivka, I have it easy. Her MIL was dead. How do you compete with that? Death of MIL should make it easier, you say? Huh! Consider this: Yitzchak was very much attached to his mom (sounds familiar?) and her death hit him hard. The Torah says he brought his bride into Sarah's tent and she was a comfort to him after his mother's death. So, first of all, that's a pretty heavy load to carry, being a comfort to your brand new husband over a death that, in all probability, happened before you ever met. And second, if he was that broken, what could Rivka possibly do that would compete with the giant shadow cast by Sarah?
I firmly believe that each generation should be better than the one before (which, I realize, never happens, but is nice as an idea) or else what's the point? If we do not improve the race from generation to generation, how can we ever hope to be good enough for the Moshiach? So a daughter in law should be better than a mother in law in terms of housekeeping (oops), child rearing (as if) and cooking (hear that hollow laughter.)
OK. Not happening. But it's good to have something to dream about.
Anyway, my MIL makes this unbelievable chicken. In truth, she got the recipe from uncle Solly but still. She only make it twice a year (Pesach and Rosh Hashana) and I wait with bated breath (salivating all the way) for its appearance. I usually eat nothing else at the holiday table so as not to interfere with the flavor of the chicken.
The problem is, the recipe sounds completely fictional. No one believes it. Neither did I until I tried it out of desperation and saw "ki tov".
But, as I said, daughters in law should strive to improve the MIL's legacy or we will still be stepping in place at the end of time. And here's the fun part: this dish creates leftovers that are not readily usable and I, MIL2.0, have found a use for them. So there.
First, the fictional chicken. Remember this is a recipe that makes no sense yet works like a dream.
Take one whole chicken. Put (breast side down) in an aluminum disposable (very important) pan. Add 2 or 3 onions sliced into thick wedges (about 12 wedges per onion). Sprinkle with a little (or a lot, your choice) kosher or other coarse salt. Place in middle of preheated oven at 350F. Cook for at least 2 hours, preferably 3, possible to go for 4 (but check it). The chicken should be a nice brown, lots of juices in the pan, onions mostly light brown (some darker than others) and the chicken looks like it's dried out. It's not.
That's it. I know, it sounds weird. But it works. Now for the "daughter in law living up to the MIL's legendary image" part. I made this chicken and used way more onions than we could possibly eat with the chicken. Do we throw them out? G-d forbid. After all, my MIL is Iranian. For my non Israeli readers, in Israeli folklore, Iranians are the cheapskates. So there was no way she would approve of me throwing out the extra onions. And here is what happened:
Stuffed mushrooms with leftover onions
6 large onions that were cooked with chicken as described above
1/3 - 1/2 cup (or more as needed) of pan juices from said chicken
2 Tbs balsamic vinegar
1 Lb ground beef
2/3 cup mixed grains (see note at the end) measured before cooking, cooked in vegetable or chicken broth.
14 very large white mushrooms (And I do mean very large, about 4 inches across. If you can't find them, use smaller ones but then I don't know how many this will make). Stems removed, peeled if you wish to (I always do).
Extra virgin olive oil (about 3-4 Tbs)
1/4-1/2 cup vegetable or chicken broth
In a food processor, grind onions with balsamic vinegar and about 1/2 cup of the chicken's pan juices. This will take some time and will produce a thick sauce (like oatmeal).
Brown the ground beef in a pan (you can use a little oil or not, your choice), until no longer pink.
Mix beef with cooked grains. Add half the onion/balsamic vinegar sauce to the beef and grains mix. Mix well. There's no need for any spices (especially if you used salt with the chicken).
In a shallow baking dish spread the olive oil (enough to coat the bottom a little). Arrange mushrooms in dish (I had to use two large dishes. The mushrooms take up a lot of space).
Stuff each mushroom with the beef and grains mixture (about 1 or 2 Tbs each, at least). Heap it up nicely.
Spoon one tablespoon of the remaining onion/balsamic vinegar sauce over the stuffing in each mushroom. Pour whatever sauce remains around the mushrooms.
Add the broth to the sauce in the dish (if you used more than one dish because of space issues, use 1/4 cup for each dish).
Cover tightly with foil.
Bake at 350F for an hour.
Serve warm.
Makes 7 servings as a main dish; 14 as an appetizer.
Note about the grains: I used some sort of parboiled mixed grains I got at Costco, but any mix of grains will do. You can use leftovers of rice, wheat , barley, quinoa, millet, whatever. The more types of grains - the better the taste of the final dish. If using leftovers, you'll need to guess about the amount since the amount given in the recipe is before cooking. Basically, there was the same amount of cooked grains as cooked ground beef. Work from this.
And remember, the best mothers in law are those who leave room for their sons' wives to outshine them. It's for your own son's benefit when you really think about it, no?
Friday, November 2, 2012
Not good enough
I like goat cheese. It's very earthy and creamy and delicious. I like inventing recipes that contain goat cheese. But my friend the goat-cheese-hater always asks "Can I use feta instead?"
Why do people argue with perfection? Because what is perfect for one is not so great for another. Because they can see flaws in my plan that they think I missed somehow.
Is that what happened in S'dom? Did G-d "miss" something? Because when He told Avraham about his plans for S'dom, Avraham immediately pointed out what seems like an obvious flaw: "How can you kill the innocent along with the wicked?"
Then there's the famous bargaining ("Can I use feta instead?"), where our wily ancestor haggles with the Almighty over a bunch of people he doesn't know and wouldn't want to know if he knew them. And G-d indulges him. Fine, says G-d, I'll spare the whole city for the sake of a few good people.
G-d, being G-d, knows darn well that there aren't any good people in S'dom. Why doesn't He just say to Avraham: "Listen, pal, you're wasting your breath. This city is one wicked cesspool. There are no good people there. Fo'getaboutit." Why bargain over a lost cause?
Because G-d is a teacher. With great patience He lets Avraham find the truth for himself. When you learn something by yourself, you'll know it better and remember it longer than if someone simply told you about it. Like a patient parent, G-d lets Avraham think he has a say in the matter. Not to make fun of him or to "teach him a lesson" but to let him find out for himself that there is always a reason behind G-d's decisions. Even if, from a human point of view, they seem flawed.
And, one day, my friend will find out that I am right (which,of course, I always am) and that goat cheese is amazing. Until that happy day, I will indulge her and create dishes with feta so she thinks she has a say in spotting my (imaginary) flaws.
Baby volcanoes of leeks and feta
3 leeks, white part only, sliced very thinly
1 package (8-10 pieces) scallions, white and green parts both, sliced very thinly
3 Tbs butter
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
Freshly ground black pepper
2 Tbs chopped fresh parsley
12 puff pastry shells, baked according to package instructions
Saute leeks and scallions in butter over medium-low heat for about an hour (yes, this is no typo.) Stir frequently. Vegetables will get very soft but there will be very little browning.
Let mixture cool slightly (or even overnight and proceed the next day), then add feta, parsley, and black pepper.
Using one heaping tablespoon per shell, fill prepared puff pastry shells.
Heat oven to 400F. Turn it off and place shells (arranged on a baking sheet) in it for 10 minutes.
Makes 12 appetizers
Yes, feta because of the salt around S'dom and volcano shaped containers for the volcanoes that were probably part of the destruction of S'dom. And good riddance, too. What a horrible place.
Why do people argue with perfection? Because what is perfect for one is not so great for another. Because they can see flaws in my plan that they think I missed somehow.
Is that what happened in S'dom? Did G-d "miss" something? Because when He told Avraham about his plans for S'dom, Avraham immediately pointed out what seems like an obvious flaw: "How can you kill the innocent along with the wicked?"
Then there's the famous bargaining ("Can I use feta instead?"), where our wily ancestor haggles with the Almighty over a bunch of people he doesn't know and wouldn't want to know if he knew them. And G-d indulges him. Fine, says G-d, I'll spare the whole city for the sake of a few good people.
G-d, being G-d, knows darn well that there aren't any good people in S'dom. Why doesn't He just say to Avraham: "Listen, pal, you're wasting your breath. This city is one wicked cesspool. There are no good people there. Fo'getaboutit." Why bargain over a lost cause?
Because G-d is a teacher. With great patience He lets Avraham find the truth for himself. When you learn something by yourself, you'll know it better and remember it longer than if someone simply told you about it. Like a patient parent, G-d lets Avraham think he has a say in the matter. Not to make fun of him or to "teach him a lesson" but to let him find out for himself that there is always a reason behind G-d's decisions. Even if, from a human point of view, they seem flawed.
And, one day, my friend will find out that I am right (which,of course, I always am) and that goat cheese is amazing. Until that happy day, I will indulge her and create dishes with feta so she thinks she has a say in spotting my (imaginary) flaws.
Baby volcanoes of leeks and feta
3 leeks, white part only, sliced very thinly
1 package (8-10 pieces) scallions, white and green parts both, sliced very thinly
3 Tbs butter
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
Freshly ground black pepper
2 Tbs chopped fresh parsley
12 puff pastry shells, baked according to package instructions
Saute leeks and scallions in butter over medium-low heat for about an hour (yes, this is no typo.) Stir frequently. Vegetables will get very soft but there will be very little browning.
Let mixture cool slightly (or even overnight and proceed the next day), then add feta, parsley, and black pepper.
Using one heaping tablespoon per shell, fill prepared puff pastry shells.
Heat oven to 400F. Turn it off and place shells (arranged on a baking sheet) in it for 10 minutes.
Makes 12 appetizers
Yes, feta because of the salt around S'dom and volcano shaped containers for the volcanoes that were probably part of the destruction of S'dom. And good riddance, too. What a horrible place.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Walkabout
When a parasha is called "Get going", you assume there will be lots of moving around. And there certainly is plenty of walking in this week's parasha.
Avraham has ants in his pants. The man cannot sit still for a second. From the moment we meet him for the first time he is already on the move. And he keeps moving all through the parasha. It's almost as if G-d finally came up with circumcision as a strategy to keep Avraham in one place for more than a few days, so He can come visit (next parasha, spoiler alert) with an important message.
Where is the man going? Everywhere. The original wandering Jew. And everywhere he goes, he has a profound effect on the people he meets and even on the lands he passes through.
What does Avraham bring along with him? A new idea. A new religion. A new philosophy.
We don't really hear about the people he had influenced except in a roundabout way. We know he is gaining fame as a rich person, a warrior (when did that happen? he usually avoids conflict like the plague), a fair person, a righteous person.
The people of the Levant has never seen such a thing. They are used to hardy nomads. And desert dwellers certainly have their own code of honor; but Avraham had a higher authority to back up his code.
We know he was a great host. So we can imagine he usually had guests for dinner. And after everyone ate their fill, you know they all sat around the fire (leaving it to the women to do the dishes, as usual) and shmoozed. Even if the word shmooze was not invented yet, they did shmooze. People told stories, asked questions, gossiped, exchanged information. And surely some of them asked the following question: "Reb Avaraham, we have heard about you. Your reputation spreads far and wide. They say you are against child sacrifice. Can you explain why that is so? I mean, without child sacrifice, the crops will surely fail, no? Do you wish for people to starve?" (BTW, I used child sacrifice as an example; you can insert any pagan rite you prefer instead.)
And Avraham would explain, talking in a quiet, measured voice, long into the night. About the one and only G-d, about the sacredness of life, about inner contemplation and striving to be closer to the creator. And people listened. Not everyone and not everywhere. But little by little Avraham and Sarah "made souls" - talked people into being better and doing better and living a better, more moral life.
Among the dishes served around the fire, all through their wanderings around the Levant, the following dish would have been a staple. It requires no cooking, it uses ingredients that are widespread in the area (even if not here in the USA), it's quick to put together, it doesn't require refrigeration and it's extremely refreshing in the desert heat.
It's called tabbouleh and this is one version of it:
Tabbouleh
1 cup medium grind bulghur (see note)
2-3 garlic cloves, minced
Juice from 2 large lemons (do not use bottled juice)
Salt to taste
6-7 Tbs extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup mint leaves, thinly sliced
1 large tomato, cubed (1/2 inch cubes)
3 cups parsley leaves, thinly sliced (see note)
Rinse bulghur in plenty of fresh water, changing water a few times.
Cover with fresh water and let rest 30 minutes.
Drain well and squeeze out (using your hands, over a strainer) most of the water
Mix garlic, lemon juice and a bit of salt. Add oil and mix.
Add tomato.
Add bulghur and mix.
Add mint and parsley. Mix well.
Serve cold or at room temperature. The salad keeps well in the fridge but will taste best the day it is made.
Makes 8 servings
Note: Bulghur (or bulgur) is a sort of cracked wheat product. Do not substitute cracked wheat, though, as it is different. Look for bulghur and try to find "Medium grind" or "medium". Some supermarkets have it and Middle eastern stores have it for sure (and there you will also find different levels of grind.)
Note: Slicing the parsley (and the mint) should be done in back and forth motions as opposed to up and down, to prevent the leaves from releasing too much juice, which will make the dish a little bitter. Don't sweat it, just do the best you can.
And start walking. It's good exercise and you meet all kinds of people and adventures. Look where it got Avraham.
Avraham has ants in his pants. The man cannot sit still for a second. From the moment we meet him for the first time he is already on the move. And he keeps moving all through the parasha. It's almost as if G-d finally came up with circumcision as a strategy to keep Avraham in one place for more than a few days, so He can come visit (next parasha, spoiler alert) with an important message.
Where is the man going? Everywhere. The original wandering Jew. And everywhere he goes, he has a profound effect on the people he meets and even on the lands he passes through.
What does Avraham bring along with him? A new idea. A new religion. A new philosophy.
We don't really hear about the people he had influenced except in a roundabout way. We know he is gaining fame as a rich person, a warrior (when did that happen? he usually avoids conflict like the plague), a fair person, a righteous person.
The people of the Levant has never seen such a thing. They are used to hardy nomads. And desert dwellers certainly have their own code of honor; but Avraham had a higher authority to back up his code.
We know he was a great host. So we can imagine he usually had guests for dinner. And after everyone ate their fill, you know they all sat around the fire (leaving it to the women to do the dishes, as usual) and shmoozed. Even if the word shmooze was not invented yet, they did shmooze. People told stories, asked questions, gossiped, exchanged information. And surely some of them asked the following question: "Reb Avaraham, we have heard about you. Your reputation spreads far and wide. They say you are against child sacrifice. Can you explain why that is so? I mean, without child sacrifice, the crops will surely fail, no? Do you wish for people to starve?" (BTW, I used child sacrifice as an example; you can insert any pagan rite you prefer instead.)
And Avraham would explain, talking in a quiet, measured voice, long into the night. About the one and only G-d, about the sacredness of life, about inner contemplation and striving to be closer to the creator. And people listened. Not everyone and not everywhere. But little by little Avraham and Sarah "made souls" - talked people into being better and doing better and living a better, more moral life.
Among the dishes served around the fire, all through their wanderings around the Levant, the following dish would have been a staple. It requires no cooking, it uses ingredients that are widespread in the area (even if not here in the USA), it's quick to put together, it doesn't require refrigeration and it's extremely refreshing in the desert heat.
It's called tabbouleh and this is one version of it:
Tabbouleh
1 cup medium grind bulghur (see note)
2-3 garlic cloves, minced
Juice from 2 large lemons (do not use bottled juice)
Salt to taste
6-7 Tbs extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup mint leaves, thinly sliced
1 large tomato, cubed (1/2 inch cubes)
3 cups parsley leaves, thinly sliced (see note)
Rinse bulghur in plenty of fresh water, changing water a few times.
Cover with fresh water and let rest 30 minutes.
Drain well and squeeze out (using your hands, over a strainer) most of the water
Mix garlic, lemon juice and a bit of salt. Add oil and mix.
Add tomato.
Add bulghur and mix.
Add mint and parsley. Mix well.
Serve cold or at room temperature. The salad keeps well in the fridge but will taste best the day it is made.
Makes 8 servings
Note: Bulghur (or bulgur) is a sort of cracked wheat product. Do not substitute cracked wheat, though, as it is different. Look for bulghur and try to find "Medium grind" or "medium". Some supermarkets have it and Middle eastern stores have it for sure (and there you will also find different levels of grind.)
Note: Slicing the parsley (and the mint) should be done in back and forth motions as opposed to up and down, to prevent the leaves from releasing too much juice, which will make the dish a little bitter. Don't sweat it, just do the best you can.
And start walking. It's good exercise and you meet all kinds of people and adventures. Look where it got Avraham.
Friday, October 19, 2012
The importance if planning ahead
My brother in law Eddie is a very spontaneous sort of a fellow. He is fully capable of getting up one morning; deciding, over breakfast, to go to Israel; leaving on the 11:30PM flight that night and staying there for 3 years. I kid you not.
Apparently it is a family trait. If ever (G-d forbid) hubby will be in charge of our Thanksgiving meal and (G-d forbid) we will have people coming over that day, here is what would happen: About half an hour before the guests were scheduled to arrive, hubby will stumble downstairs, half asleep, and order the girls to clear the living room and load up the dishwasher. He would then retreat to the pantry and emerge with 3 cans of tuna and a box of stale crackers. This will make the main course since a turkey needs to be bought, prepped, and cooked. Which takes planning. Which is not spontaneous and therefore not cool enough.
Then there was my grandmother, of blessed memory, who would finish washing the dishes after the Purim se'uda and go out in the yard with a huge glass jar, a sack of beets and her Pesach meat knife and start peeling and slicing. She would preserve the beets in water to be used on Pesach. Apparently the beets needed to be soaked for weeks before they could move to the next phase (beef and beet cutlets cooked in borscht.)
Is it better to plan ahead or to be spontaneous?
This week's parasha seems to side with grandma (wise choice, as she was a much better cook than Eddie is.) The Torah doesn't dwell on it too much but just think how long it must have taken Noah to built the ark. With no Home Depot, no electric tools and no help from anyone. Never mind no help. Think of how much ridicule the man had to put up with. "Hey Noah, what'cha building out there?", "Hey Noah, you planning to go around the world in that tub?" "Hey Noah, you think it's gonna rain any time soon?"
We planners, who start working on the Seder menu sometime around Tu BiShvat, are used to being laughed at, criticized and sabotaged at every turn. Naturally, when the rain starts, everyone is suddenly our best friend. Well, guess what? There is only room in the ark for those I planned for. Which does not include you. So there. Let's see how spontaneous it is to drown. Huh.
Anyway, I soaked some dried rosemary in honey about 3 weeks ago because I was planning to cook the following:
3 cups butternut squash, cubed (cubes no bigger than one inch)
2 Tbs vegetable oil
2 Tbs rosemary infused honey
3/4 tsp kosher salt
Mix all ingredients and bake for 35-40 minutes at 385F until soft and starting to brown a little. Stir occasionally.
Note: I used my brand new "Chamba" dish, which is awesome, but you can bake it in any clay dish, ceramic dish, glass dish or even aluminum. Just spray it first and stir occasionally and watch that it doesn't get too brown. Cooking time may differ.
I'm not sure how many servings this makes. We were 4 and finished it up as a side dish, but it was really very very good because I used hubby's home grown squash which is sweeter and creamier than the stuff you buy at the store. Let's call it 4-6 servings.
Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah started building an ark in the back yard, attracting attention and driving his wife crazy with the mess. But she was sure happy about it when the rain came.
Apparently it is a family trait. If ever (G-d forbid) hubby will be in charge of our Thanksgiving meal and (G-d forbid) we will have people coming over that day, here is what would happen: About half an hour before the guests were scheduled to arrive, hubby will stumble downstairs, half asleep, and order the girls to clear the living room and load up the dishwasher. He would then retreat to the pantry and emerge with 3 cans of tuna and a box of stale crackers. This will make the main course since a turkey needs to be bought, prepped, and cooked. Which takes planning. Which is not spontaneous and therefore not cool enough.
Then there was my grandmother, of blessed memory, who would finish washing the dishes after the Purim se'uda and go out in the yard with a huge glass jar, a sack of beets and her Pesach meat knife and start peeling and slicing. She would preserve the beets in water to be used on Pesach. Apparently the beets needed to be soaked for weeks before they could move to the next phase (beef and beet cutlets cooked in borscht.)
Is it better to plan ahead or to be spontaneous?
This week's parasha seems to side with grandma (wise choice, as she was a much better cook than Eddie is.) The Torah doesn't dwell on it too much but just think how long it must have taken Noah to built the ark. With no Home Depot, no electric tools and no help from anyone. Never mind no help. Think of how much ridicule the man had to put up with. "Hey Noah, what'cha building out there?", "Hey Noah, you planning to go around the world in that tub?" "Hey Noah, you think it's gonna rain any time soon?"
We planners, who start working on the Seder menu sometime around Tu BiShvat, are used to being laughed at, criticized and sabotaged at every turn. Naturally, when the rain starts, everyone is suddenly our best friend. Well, guess what? There is only room in the ark for those I planned for. Which does not include you. So there. Let's see how spontaneous it is to drown. Huh.
Anyway, I soaked some dried rosemary in honey about 3 weeks ago because I was planning to cook the following:
Butternut squash baked in honey
3 cups butternut squash, cubed (cubes no bigger than one inch)
2 Tbs vegetable oil
2 Tbs rosemary infused honey
3/4 tsp kosher salt
Mix all ingredients and bake for 35-40 minutes at 385F until soft and starting to brown a little. Stir occasionally.
Note: I used my brand new "Chamba" dish, which is awesome, but you can bake it in any clay dish, ceramic dish, glass dish or even aluminum. Just spray it first and stir occasionally and watch that it doesn't get too brown. Cooking time may differ.
I'm not sure how many servings this makes. We were 4 and finished it up as a side dish, but it was really very very good because I used hubby's home grown squash which is sweeter and creamier than the stuff you buy at the store. Let's call it 4-6 servings.
Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah started building an ark in the back yard, attracting attention and driving his wife crazy with the mess. But she was sure happy about it when the rain came.
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